Archive

Chargrilss: Winter Apple Crumble

Posted 8:52pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Everybody knows an apple crumble is the absolute queen of desserts. She’s cheap, delicious and easy as piss to make. Here’s a very simple recipe in case you couldn’t figure it out on your own.   Filling Ingredients 5 apples, peeled, de-cored and cut up into small Read more...

Editorial: Two problems with big-time philanthropy.

Posted 8:46pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Fox Meyer

It’s politics week, so I want to talk about donations. Specifically “big-time philanthropy”, which is not when Auntie Lorraine makes out a $2,500 cheque to the children’s hospital. I mean more like when Peter Thiel donated $1 million to the Christchurch earthquake recovery Read more...

BOOZE: KGB’s

Posted 8:41pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

If the KGB are vodka and lemon, the CIA must be a shot of fireball delivered via lead into the back of your brain.    KGBs are at the forefront of RTD supremacy. They are neck and neck with Billy Mav’s, each vying for the title of “favourite alcoholic beverage of the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Shore girl, shore ting

Posted 8:33pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Critic

This happened not long after I left high school, when I made particularly questionable fashion choices. It was after midnight and I was on my way to a Tinder hookup’s house, so I’d put on a little black dress and done my makeup, too. I couldn’t find any shoes to go with it though, Read more...

Local Produce | Imperfect Creatures

Posted 8:30pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Just last week, Dunedin-based fashion brand Imperfect Creatures, designed by Ethan Cruise, was shown on the New Zealand Fashion Week runway. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Ethan about his latest collection ‘MOTION’ and what else we can expect from Imperfect Read more...

Local Produce: Keira Wallace

Posted 11:09pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Not many high schoolers can say they’ve performed alongside their musical heroes, but for Ōtepoti singer-songwriter Keira Wallace, this will soon be a reality. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Keira about their music and exciting upcoming projects.   Of creating music, it Read more...

Moaninful: Snap Back to Reality

Posted 11:08pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

I’ve always read this column but I have the suspicion that some of these stories just cannot be true. So, consider this my entry to bring things back towards reality, because this is usually how things go.   Moaningful confessions? Absolutely. I’ve been moaning for months. 18 Read more...

Takeaways: Week 20

Posted 11:07pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

Watch   The Sopranos   Want to put your business degree to good use, but don't want the government taking that tax money? The Sopranos would act as a pretty good blueprint if you were looking into committing crime and fraud as a career choice (in game, of course). Also good Read more...

Chargrills: FLATBREADZ

Posted 11:06pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Do you like meatballs? Do you like salads? Do you like halloumi, spiced chicken, fish or steak? Well add anything you like to this easy flatbread recipe. The best thing about this recipe is it only has 2 ingredients. Pairs well with any meat and veggies on top. Don't forget da sauce Read more...

Editorial: Otago is About to Solve the Climate Crisis

Posted 11:03pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Great news! We’re set to lose about $900,000/year in the Geology Department, crippling our ability to research natural hazards and climate change. But what we aren’t realising is that this is actually a genius move from the top levels of government to solve the climate crisis Read more...

BOOZE: Vodka

Posted 11:00pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Vodka benefits from great PR and is likely the most renowned spirit in the world, despite it being pretty boring.   If you’re spending more than $60 on a bottle of vodka, you are a fool. That shit all tastes the same. “Wow, you can really taste that fourth filtration. It Read more...

Lit Comp Pt.2

Posted 10:51pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

Non-fiction runner-up Days: Thinking of you By Zoe Wu   The quiet buzz of my alarm nudges me awake. I blearily lift my head, expecting to see warm sun rays weaving around the curtains to tickle my face. Instead, the cold darkness of winter mornings sends a chill down my spine. Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 19

Posted 4:07pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Being numb and having no feelings is actually not normal. In fact, it’s rather concerning. Ease up on the sociopathy this week, and try to find some emotion deep within the creases of your soul.  DIY project: Clean your mojo dojo casa Read more...

Chargrills: Satay Chicken Vermicelli

Posted 3:57pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This recipe is dedicated to the lovely human who sent an email complaining about the use of prawns in my first ever recipe for Critic. I still think about that message sometimes. This was going to be a prawn recipe out of spite but I am choosing kindness. Chicken it is, and don't forget to be Read more...

EDITORIAL: Rock Bottom

Posted 3:56pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Hey, you, you’ve got thirty seconds. Sign this petition. It’s not pointless, we did this sort of thing when marine science was under the axe, and it worked. Do it, because it’s only open until Wednesday. Do it, because if Otago is willing to cannibalise its own founding discipline, Read more...

Local Produce: Small Press Fest

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

This weekend launches the inaugural Small Press Fest. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the festival’s creator and curator, Frances Pavletich of Evening Books, on the whats and whys of a dedicated fest to small press.   Small Press Fest runs from August 18-20, hosted at Evening Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 19

Posted 3:48pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Something to:     Watch   University’s Cyber Security Education and Awareness Programme   Some would say you’re supposed to engage with Otago’s Security Education and Awareness Programme, but I beg to differ; watching it from the distance of Read more...

BOOZE: Wild Moose

Posted 3:40pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Wild Moose is the greatest New Zealand/Canada collaboration since Gallipoli.    Much like the mythical beast of Fiordland for which it’s named, our country is resigned to its existence and must drink in its honour. That moose is never going to turn up. You’d have an Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Feelin’ fuckin norty

Posted 3:35pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

So, it’s 2019, Mr Traumatik is on in Auckland, how good. It was around 10pm, I had lost all my mates and could feel the party favours kicking in so I was absolutely wildin’ in the mosh and clearly sending out a vibe. A man puts his arm around me, he’s cute, we immediately click. Mr Read more...

Editorial: Rock Bottom - Save our Geology Department!

Posted 12:33pm Friday 11th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Hey, you, you’ve got thirty seconds. Sign this petition. It’s not pointless, we did this sort of thing when marine science was under the axe, and it worked. Do it, because it’s only open until Wednesday. Do it, because if Otago is willing to cannibalise its own founding discipline, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 18

Posted 2:25pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 The plot? Babe, you’ve lost it. Try getting a grip on reality this week and restore the chaotic good within your soul.  Budgeting tip: Stop vaping.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces, the weather is shit, the vibes are bad, and no one Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Sunday Service

Posted 2:21pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

It was a cold Dunners Saturday night. I was planning to do the usual, which was drink at a pres with my mates, act like their base drops are good, then go stay the night with the guy I was seeing at the time. I didn’t enjoy town that much so I never went. I was a horny girl who just needed Read more...

Takeaways:

Posted 2:18pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

Something to:     Watch   The Post-Oppenheimer Cinematic Universe   Feeling left with some existential dread after Oppenheimer? Great! Let’s make it worse. First off the block ought to be Grave of the Fireflies, a movie so emotionally devastating that Read more...

BOOZE: Jägermeister

Posted 2:18pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Some German guy - Meister Jäger, I assume - read 'George’s Marvellous Medicine' and thought, “Ya I can do zat,” and then all the other Germans were like, “I know it is only 1934, but this is ze best idea we have had in a while,” and so forth came Read more...

Editorial: Finance is just Astrology for Capitalists

Posted 2:14pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Last time we talked about bad timing: why announcing a million-dollar rebrand during massive staff cuts is a bad idea, even if the rebrand itself is a good call. This time we’re gonna be talking about maths.   Unlike the decision to rebrand, the decision to set a budget is rooted Read more...

Chargrills: Chicken Curry

Posted 2:13pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

You know what? This is far from the best curry I’ve had. It was warm and curry-like, but I probably wouldn’t eat it again. Nice and simple, yes. Will warm you up and give you some veggies. If it was a movie it would be Avatar, beautiful visuals but forgettable story and ultimately Read more...

Local Produce: Fairuza

Posted 2:12pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Jordan Irvine

Fairuza is new to the Ōtepoti music scene, but is making a quick and strong presence. As one of the few gender queer bands in Dunedin, Fairuza have established themselves as the band to follow. Only forming this year, members Phaedra (guitar/vocals), Lucy (bass/vocals) and Vzynn (drums/vocals) Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 17

Posted 2:05pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Watch   Endangered Species Aotearoa   Streaming on TVNZ On Demand (so, free!), this is a more hands-on nature show than your classic David Attenborough documentary. It is hosted by conservationist Nicola Toki and comedian Pax Assadi who visit spots around the country in search Read more...

Local Produce: The Audio Visual Dropkicks

Posted 1:57pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

They’re only second-years, but The Audio Visual Dropkicks have dropped in big to the Dunedin Sound, already playing a fair share of ski club parties and even following Hans Pucket on the road for two shows last month. Critic Te Ārohi chatted with the band about their freshly released EP Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 17

Posted 1:54pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 To get through the last few weeks of winter, treat yourself to your favourite comfort foods. Think ramen, mashed potatoes, pasta. All the carbs you can dream of. Make the most of hibernation, baby!  Habit to break: Picking your nose.  Pisces Feb 19 Read more...

Chargrills: STEAK SALAD

Posted 1:50pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's mid-winter. Buy wine instead of a box and use the excess money to buy feta and orange kumara. You deserve it. Get the veggies in and get the flu out. Life’s short, eat good food and your body will thank you.    Ingredients    600g of rump or blade steak Read more...

Editorial: Begin the Warpath

Posted 1:48pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Fox Meyer

I often write these columns with second-years in mind, because that’s usually who reads this magazine. And so I tend to write silly little editorials with fun facts and stories in them because life is already pretty stressful and depressing and the last thing a second-year wants is another Read more...

An Open Letter from the POAG Organising Committee

Posted 1:40pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Student life is marked by so many indignities that you’re supposed to accept: the cold, the debt, the lack of nutrition, the shift work for petty tyrants. All the labours that make you question your life choices and whether it’ll be worth it for some shining future. It gets worse, Read more...

Booze review: MAJOR MAJOR

Posted 1:38pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

DUDE, before MAJOR MAJOR came into my life, I would have never had the confidence to drill a hole into the Vice Chancellor’s office and fill it with bees, but now with MAJOR MAJOR I’m living my true university experience! Let’s all go break bottles on the try-line of Victoria Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: On the rag

Posted 1:32pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

I was just about to leave for uni, so me and my girlfriend at the time wanted to tick as many boxes as we could. We had a pretty kinky sex life – think like, rough rough – but at that point our sex had mostly been box-ticking, so to speak. However, on one fateful and particularly horny Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 16

Posted 4:54pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 As the semester kicks off, it appears there is some romance waiting in the wings for you. Don’t let your commitment issues or dark humour scare this potential lover off; try and be remotely normal for once.  Self care Sunday moment: Rotting with a Read more...

Local Produce: ​​Paradox Princess

Posted 4:52pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

“Quite like Barbara but don’t fuck with cops, I’m coming to Shorty in a crop top,” Paradox Princess spits on her track ‘Utopia For Sale.’ Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Paradox Princess to talk about her upcoming album ‘Creating A Time Read more...

Booze review: GIN

Posted 4:48pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Gin is medicine; it’s true. I was prescribed it, along with heroin, by my 19th century doctor. He says, “It takes the edge off of Mondays.” I miss the days when you could be prescribed alcohol by a doctor. You know you’re a special case when your doctor says, “Jesus, Read more...

Chargrills: Mexi Bowls but fod-friendly

Posted 4:46pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It’s still cold again. You know where it’s still NOT cold? Mexico. Let’s pretend we’re there again. But this time we have a sensitive tummy. Sand between toes, Trump caps everywhere. The sound of breaking waves but no rumbly, gassy tummy. Just hunger. Perfect. Read more...

Moaningful Confessions:

Posted 4:40pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

The story about the most embarrassing sex of my life starts back when I was a first-year. I was working a part time job and, like all naive first-years, I hadn't learnt to not get involved with coworkers. The guy in question, we'll call him Sam, was a couple years older than me but Read more...

Moaningful Confessions:

Posted 4:40pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

The story about the most embarrassing sex of my life starts back when I was a first-year. I was working a part time job and, like all naive first-years, I hadn't learnt to not get involved with coworkers. The guy in question, we'll call him Sam, was a couple years older than me but Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 16

Posted 4:39pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

Watch   Day After Tomorrow & Happy Feet Combo   An icy double-header of forgotten classics. Happy Feet is one of the better movies from 2006 that you haven’t watched in ages, directed by George Miller between his Mad Max movies (meaning, canonically, Mumble and Read more...

Editorial: Bring Back Child Labour

Posted 4:29pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

It’s the meme that started it all. And while we all laughed about it, we were too shy to admit that they were kinda right. That’s why, heading into election season, I am once again challenging any of the major parties to announce their plan to bring back child labour. Hear me Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 15

Posted 10:09pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time for you to normalize insanity. Flatmates pissing you off? Scream at them and eat their cheese. Situationship going downhill? Fuck someone else. Life is too short to not be your best, unhinged self.  Way to get warm: Read more...

Editorial: Dude, Where’s my Castle Host?

Posted 10:05pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

I’ve heard talk that Castle hasn't had an open host since O-Week. What’s up with that? Ya scared?   If you live on Castle, you have a communal responsibility to throw open hosts beyond the bare minimum dates of O- and Re-O-Weeks. That’s what Castle is known for, and Read more...

Booze review: RUM(S)

Posted 10:00pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Rum is the blindfold that humanity gladly adorns when things get messy.  A tipple of rum to the war-torn soldier leavens the load of indefinite suffering, and the base aromat of orange and vanilla is as familiar to fruit the sailor will get. The legacy of rum is often a swansong to the Read more...

Chargrills: Mexi-Bowls

Posted 9:54pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It’s cold. You know where it’s not cold? Mexico. Let’s pretend we’re there. Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine the feeling of sand between your toes. Imagine the background noises of the United States attempting to overthrow yet another Southern democracy. Perfect. Read more...

Local Produce: Soul Chai

Posted 9:51pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

While you’re retiring from kick-ons in the early hours of Saturday, Daniel Fitzpatrick is up and brewing the perfect cure to nurse your hangover and winter blues. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Daniel to spill the tea on his farmers market venture, Soul Chai.   As Soul Chai, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: She Pea on my Nut till I Butter

Posted 9:47pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Critic

Hope you don’t have a peanut allergy because this one is about to get saucy. So it’s about a year ago, maybe two, and I’m in a UniFlat. We’re doing flat dinners so everyone cooks once a week. And there was an international girl who was living with us who I was really into, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 14

Posted 1:33pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Take a trip to Veggie Boys this week. Grocery prices are fucked, and you will probably need some nutrients after re-o. Leeks are good this time of year.  Re-O Activity: Take shrooms and have a spiritual awakening.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Winter Read more...