Archive

Moaningful Confession: Kiss'n Boob

Posted 5:40pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

I’m sure a lot of Dunedin’s Sapphics can relate. The situation here is fucking dire. The streets of Dunners appear to be void of any queer woman, as do the confessions here. So, I thought I’d contribute a story of my own for your lady-on-lady reading pleasure. Let me set the Read more...

Booze Review: 818 Tequila Blanco

Posted 5:33pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

What's better: Keeping Up With The Kardashians on a cold Friday or 818 Tequila on a Tuesday night and keeping up with a developing alcohol addiction?  Kendall Jenner's 818 Tequila has landed in Aotearoa, and we couldn't be happier – finally, I can reach my dream physique of Read more...

Local Produce: Rosie Roaché

Posted 5:16pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Rosie Roaché is a talented visual artist with a show coming to Dunedin Fringe. After the success of last year's candid photography exhibition ‘Flâneur’, Rosie is back with an innovative personal project involving Pasifika culture. ‘Brown Skin Girls’ is a Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 4

Posted 5:10pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Aquababes, you are levelling up and recognising your worth. Financially you're doing amazing, finally curbing that wee spending habit. Stay focused and remember: just because it's on sale, that doesn't mean you're losing money if you don't buy it. Sweet treat of the Read more...

Editorial: We Need to Talk About Gaza

Posted 5:08pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Nina Brown

We’re going to talk about Gaza. It would be a mistake to think that this is a decision Critic has taken lightly.  Editorship at Critic is constantly changing. Most editors only stay for one year, with former editor Fox breaking the mould by staying for two. And with each editor, the Read more...

Do it your fucking self: How to fix a scratchy woollen jumper or flannel

Posted 5:04pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

Yeah, it’s still too warm for flannels but that just means that they’re dirt cheap at op shops. Wool (as in fibre grown from sheep or similar, not just any kind of yarn) is a natural material that keeps you warm and dries quickly when it’s wet. It can also be scratchier than a Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Luigi's Mansion

Posted 12:07pm Monday 11th March 2024 by Critic

It was a dark and stormy night; the wind was howling like the swirling storm inside (my uterus). Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried. It was semester break, and my friends and I decided to mish to Queenstown for a few days. After a long and windy trip across the mushroom kingdom, we Read more...

Booze Review: Hennessy Very Special Cognac

Posted 1:41pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Hennessy is like that one soundcloud rapper from high school who exclusively wears Vlone and thinks they’re one song away from making it big. It looks like a top shelf liquor and has the price tag to match, but leaves everyone looking at you questioning who the fuck you think you Read more...

Local Produce: Tama Alexander

Posted 1:30pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Tama Alexander is a prominent voice in the comedy scene who uses his student experiences to entertain both locally and nationally, combining cutting sardonic humour with musical theatricality. The 2023 Dunedin Fringe Festival saw Tama’s debut solo show ‘Fresher’, which detailed his Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 3

Posted 1:27pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius You have a good head on your shoulders, so why are you leading them on? It’s not like you to be so flaky with romance and friendships. Figure out what you want and commit – it won’t be easy, but it’s better than the guilt, Aquarius.  Habit to pause: Hitting Read more...

Editorial: But Why is the Fun Gone?

Posted 1:15pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Nina Brown

Students can’t seem to catch a fucking break. There’s something in the water, and it’s certainly not rum. Nothing alcohol-related, adjacent, or even slightly hinting at the A-word. That’s a bad word now.  I’d like to start with the disclaimer that we’re Read more...

Debatable: Should lecture recordings be made available from St Paddy’s Day?

Posted 1:10pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Otago University Debating Society

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For Every lecturer knows that St Patrick’s Day is a de-facto Dunedin day of rest. To go against this and refuse to Read more...

ChatGOTH: InsomNina

Posted 12:45pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by ChatGOTH

ChatGPT could never. Send all your woes and worries about foes to chatgoth@critic.co.nz for totally real and legit advice. Hi ChatGOTH, I was going to send in something about my sex life but it's been so long since I've felt human touch that there's honestly no point. The more Read more...

Do it your fucking self: How to Unfuck your Vacuum

Posted 4:52pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

Picture this: you’ve been riding the bender-coaster that is Flo and O-Week, you roll out of your bed on the wrong side of midday, and in a rare sober moment for you (or any student), you realise that your flat is a tip. A bombsite, even. Sure, you rush around and do your laundry, but the Read more...

Takeaways: Week 2 2024

Posted 4:33pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by Critic

SOMETHING TO WATCH ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’ - Prince, Tom Petty, Steve Winwood, Jeff Lynne, more Taking place at the 2004 Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame, two members of the Wilb’s help sing the ‘Quiet Beatle’ banger “While My Guitar Gently Read more...

ChatGOTH: Birkenstunk

Posted 4:26pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by ChatGOTH

ChatGPT could never. Send all your woes and worries about foes to chatgoth@critic.co.nz for totally real and legit advice. Hey girl!!!! Just thought I would reach out with one of the issues I've currently been going through. Generally speaking, I'm a pretty happy guy with great Read more...

Local Produce: VELVET the label.

Posted 5:11pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Max Came is the frontman of indie rock band Hot Sauce Club, and has recently created VELVET the label., alongside Will Georgeson of Pool House and Max Hackshaw of Frank on Tap. VELVET exists to promote artists around New Zealand and the world, currently made up of the three bands but looking to Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 2 2024

Posted 4:21pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Aquarius, 2024 is the year to be you. Wear that kinda ugly op-shop top or those shoes that hurt to walk in. You make it look good!  Dunedin hot spot to visit: First Church Pisces Sometimes it feels like everyone hates you, and maybe they do. You’re still hot though, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: A Helping Hand

Posted 4:10pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

I, like many people, am a massive fan of men moaning during sex but unfortunately it has been a while since I have heard this live and in person.  A few months ago, I was scrolling through TikTok and an audio of Pedro Pascal moaning came up on my fyp (thank you algorithm). I hadn’t Read more...

Debatable: Should you go on a date before sleeping with someone?

Posted 4:04pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

For: The Pope After Covid, people tend to have an aversion to actually socialising, but they all still want a shag. Crazy concept talking to people, I know, but our parents managed to do it (for the most part) so why can’t you all? Hell, if you actually talk to the breatha or beezy you are Read more...

Booze Reviews: Purple Goanna

Posted 3:09pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Yup, love ‘em or hate ‘em, they still make this stuff. Purple Gs are getting funnelled, chugged, vortexed, snorkelled, and otherwise demolished at high speeds – much like the endangered Goannas of its namesake. For some reason, every other person just assumed that the OG – Read more...

Editorial: Apology Letter to the OUSA Exec

Posted 3:01pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Nina Brown

To the OUSA Exec: I am sorry for failing you. Let me explain. As the news editor last year, I sat in on (almost) every weekly OUSA Exec meeting. For the most part, it was all very boring once the thrill of the invite wore off. The process was painfully formal, with each step of the meeting Read more...

Debatable: Should Halls Be Completely Vegetarian?

Posted 4:22pm Monday 26th February 2024 by Ollie Thorns

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm.   For: Ollie Thorns It’s a pretty clear case, freshers are better off without meat. The calorie intake that Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Don't Download Grindr

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Okay, some context: I’m a trans guy and at the time I was getting over my ex-boyfriend so I decided to download Grindr (don’t ever do that). I’d had quite a few people messaging me but only a select few were actually within a decent distance and I can’t drive so needed to Read more...

Editorial: Moaningful Confessions May Meet Its Unsexy Demise

Posted 5:02pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Nina Brown

We’re (maybe) scrapping Moaningful Confessions. I realise this won’t be a popular move, but it’s time.  Behind the scenes, the column has been going downhill for a while and submissions have been few and far between. Most weeks it would reach print night and Lotto, who runs Read more...

Local Produce: CANDI

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Candice is a familiar voice from Radio One, but she isn’t just a DJ on the radio – as CANDI, she’s an influential music artist with an impressive track record of live shows. Only established in Re: Ori ‘22, CANDI has quickly become a prominent fixture in the electronic scene, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 1 2024

Posted 4:47pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Aquarius  Put the fucking pastel highlighters down - it’s too early to start colour-coding things. Organisation won’t bring you the comfort you crave, but people will. Get out there and don’t let the start of sem pass you by.  New Year’s resolution to ditch: All Read more...

Booze Review: Kirin Hyoketsu Lemon

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Sippy Bill Swilliams

Students return to their shitboxes, locals complain on Facebook, the annual tradition of Flo and O lives on. A fortnight of alcohol and substance ridden debauchery – an alcohol company’s wet dream.  The only thing consumed more than piss in these two weeks of degeneracy is the Read more...

Fresher Simulator: O-Week

Posted 4:13pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

1. Welcome (Start here) You’re a fresher (our condolences) arriving at Dunedin airport for the first time ever. You marvel at all the butt-fuck-nowhere around you. Off to collect your luggage! Where did you fly in from, again? A: Auckland (Go to 11) B: Somewhere else (Go to Read more...

Editorial: Get Into It, Yuh

Posted 11:32am Sunday 18th February 2024 by Nina Brown

To many reading this: welcome back, suckers. To the freshers who have gone back and collected old issues of Critic Te Ārohi once you realised it exists, is free, and is the best thing you’ll ever read: kia ora, I’m glad you made it. Here’s a wee introduction. Critic Te Read more...

Crossword Answers Issue 26

Posted 3:19pm Thursday 12th October 2023 by Critic

No spoilers! If you're looking for the answers from our final issue, they're right here.   Crossword 1: ACROSS: 2. TOAD 4. SLOB 7. MENU 8. ISH 9. ALOE 10. IBIS 12. AZUL 14. WHITE 15. FLAKE 17. IGOR 18. ALOO 19. MAN 21. LENNON 23. TINSEL 24. MOBILE 26. OBLONG 28. BLT 30. NEVE Read more...

BOOZE REVIEW: Just Booze

Posted 11:47am Monday 9th October 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Shoutout Noisy. Shoutout ADJØ. Shoutout Albar.   New Zealand needs to change the way we drink. We drink excessive amounts of alcohol and know no weekend tradition other than binge drinking. This behaviour is extremely dangerous, and it’s projected that if we continue drinking Read more...

Editorial: Is this a Dunedin Initiation or a CIA Blacksite Torture Method?

Posted 1:18pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Flat initiations are 20 years old at best. You know what else is 20 years old? Enhanced interrogation techniques designed by CIA crackpots in the wake of 9/11. They like to go out, abduct suspected terrorists and then torture them for weeks in secret locations on foreign soil. The tactics used (the Read more...

Editorial: Is this a Dunedin Initiation or a CIA Blacksite Torture Method?

Posted 1:13pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Flat initiations are 20 years old at best. You know what else is 20 years old? Enhanced interrogation techniques designed by CIA crackpots in the wake of 9/11. They like to go out, abduct suspected terrorists and then torture them for weeks in secret locations on foreign soil. The tactics used (the Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 26

Posted 12:43pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  This is for everybody going through tough times. Believe me: been there, done that, but every day above ground is a good day. Remember that.    Indulgence to succumb to: Fighting with your conservative family members.   Pisces  Soon you’ll Read more...

Local Produce: - Fool of Stars

Posted 12:41pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Jordan Irvine

Formed in 2020, Fool of Stars started out as a high school dream pop band. The current line up, Olive Ward (guitar/vocals), Max White (drums), and Jacob Smith (organ), came together to enter Bring the Noise in 2022. Following a warm reception from friends and strangers, they decided to record their Read more...

Local Produce - No Danger

Posted 12:40pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Get your hard hats and your high-vis vests on. For a hazard-free gig, you can count on No Danger: an eclectic six-piece band that play sets with covers ranging from Black Sabbath to the Spice Girls, alongside their own originals, one of which they’re planning to officially release soon. Critic Read more...

Moaningful: Shark Tale

Posted 12:32pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

As an avid Moaningful Confessions reader, I have been recently disappointed with the lack of jaw-dropping, juicy stories, so against my better judgement, I have sacrificed the last shred of my dignity to provide the worst, most entertaining of sex stories.   To set the scene, I had just Read more...

Takeaways: Week 26

Posted 12:17pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

Something to…     Watch   Tom Sandoval’s apology video on YouTube   A raw, emotional, genuine display of social media in the golden era of the early 2010s. If your birth year ends later than 00, consider yourself lucky that your tween fantasies Read more...

Chargrills: Feta, Spinach and Lemon Stuffed Chicken Bake

Posted 12:16pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

And all of a sudden, we’re at the last recipe. It's been good team, thanks for looking at the pictures and never trying a recipe! It's not too late though, try this. You'll like it.    CHICKEN 2 chicken breasts  ⅓ block feta  ¼ cup Read more...

Takeaways: Week 25

Posted 11:24am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Something to…   Watch:   Lady Gaga’s 2009 VMA performance   Lady Gaga pretty much debuted to the world with this performance of Paparazzi, which, if you can find it, is like a piece of pop music history. The only good recording I know of is still pretty Read more...

An open letter to anyone that just got initiated:

Posted 11:09am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Fox Meyer

To the first years that just got initiated, I’m glad you’re all alive. I know it wasn’t the “worst thing ever”, and I bet you’ve got a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that what you just did really wasn’t all that glorious. I know that it ended in Read more...

Moaningful: Kia ora Critic Te Ārohi and its readers.

Posted 11:06am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Last week, you published a survey and fell back on the old trope that Computer Science students don't get laid enough.   Think about that one for a moment. Who made Tinder? Who tweaks the algorithms that set you up with your matches? Who out there knows your browser history? Have you Read more...

Local Produce: Exhuming our history

Posted 11:04am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Nina Brown

The Southern Cemeteries Archaeology Project is a colonial bioarchaeology research project. It’s run by a multidisciplinary team of researchers led by the Department of Anatomy at the University of Otago.    In the first research-driven work done into colonial New Zealand, their Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 25

Posted 11:03am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  Time to sit back, relax, and think about the Roman Empire.    Area to self-improve on: Being rational and deploying logic.    Pisces  Say goodbye to your people pleaser era, Pisces. You have been far too kind and tolerant of other Read more...

Chargrills: Flourless Pancakes

Posted 11:01am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Yeah, let's have breakfast for a change. Only thing you do need is a blender or a Nutribullet. If you don't, use the eggs to make scrambled eggs and eat the banana lol.    Ingrediants: 3 eggs 1 banana  ¼ cup cocoa powder  Dash of Read more...

Editorial: The Dictator

Posted 10:50am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Fox Meyer

There is no student body.    It doesn’t exist. There is no cohesive group of students. Everyone has retreated so far into individualism, into digital and physical isolation, that an overall sense of community has been lost. This is why you are lonely. This is why you feel Read more...

Booze Review: Diesel & Cola

Posted 10:27am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Diesel Bourbon & Cola, unlike other foul concoctions, makes you acutely aware of your own existence. It is not an elixir that conjures rationale or peace, rather it attempts to humble the drinker by bringing you a stone's throw from death. A true battle of body, mind, and spirit. Any breatha Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 24

Posted 10:18pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  Aquarius, this coming period of your life will bring about questioning, self-reflection, and a desire for change. Remember to not shy away from these feelings, as they will serve for the best in the long run.    Sexy activity for the week: Engaging in Read more...

Chargrills: Soft Shell Tacos

Posted 10:16pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

While we’re on the Mexican buzz, here's another mouth tingler to try out while avos are in season and the weather is warming up. Stay burrito-ful. This meal pairs nicely with Bohemian Wrap-sidy.    Ingredients    Soft shell tacos 700g chicken Read more...