The Great Critic Hall Food Review

Posted 7:52pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Critic

Over the past few weeks Critic has been sneaking into halls to review their food. We are fully aware that you can just buy meals at most of the halls, but our lives were getting dull and we needed some adrenaline to make us feel alive again. Also the Critic budget has been exhausted of late by Read more...

Rebellious Vaper on Campus Claims They “Don’t Give A Fuck, Man”

Posted 7:45pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by The Critical Tribune

Jonathan ‘The Cloud’ Matthews insists that the Vape Free signs around campus won’t keep him down. “It’s like, a human right dude. It can’t hurt you,” said Matthews, in between rips of vanilla-cola flavoured vapour. Campus Watch responded to his continual Read more...

American Exchange Student Really Excited to Show You Their New Tattoo

Posted 7:43pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by The Critical Tribune

“I got it because I just really, really care about the ocean, and, like, the environment and stuff. Yeah,” says American who thinks the only way to express something even somewhat meaningful to them is by getting it permanently detailed on their skin. “I just got it done in Read more...

Classmate You Think is Smart Actually Just Blindly Confident

Posted 7:41pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by The Critical Tribune

Think about it. You know the person I’m talking about. You trust what they say when they give you advice because it sounds good, not because it’s obviously correct. They don’t even believe what they’re saying, they’re just using you as a sounding board to see if you Read more...

It’s Time to Return All the Dishware You’ve Been Hoarding in Your Bedroom to the Kitchen

Posted 7:41pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by The Critical Tribune

You know who you are. This is your wake-up call. It’s seriously disgusting and the flat needs the other half of their dining supplies. People are starting to get desperate. Yesterday, one of your flatmates used their textbook as a plate because you’ve got the other six stacked up next to Read more...

Meeting the Trainers of Dunedin: the Pokémon Go Capital of New Zealand

Posted 7:15pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Sinead Gill

Creatures? Fights? Long walks along Studentville? No, we’re not talking about Castle on a Saturday. We’re talking Pokémon Go, baby. I used to think my flatmate was sneaking out at midnight for shameful ciggies. It took weeks before they confessed that they were, in fact, doing Read more...

Ranking the Rocks in the Geology Museum on their Chakra Alignment

Posted 7:14pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Fox Meyer

Geology. The study of the terrestrial, of rocks and minerals, the earthy matter of the planet we all know and love. Yet what if this terrestrial study was in fact more extra… terrestrial? The rocks - minerals, actually - housed in the geology building are stored behind ancient glass panes Read more...

Going Hard: The Rowing Club’s Paralympian Programme

Posted 7:09pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Oscar Francis

Down at the waterfront, where the University Rowing Club has monopolised the OUSA aquatic centre, every Monday evening an elite group of athletes push themselves to their limits and go beyond. “Special Olympics are more about doing it, rather than the result,” Glen, the manager of the Read more...

Superfly Superspy - The Conclusion

Posted 7:07pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

Return to Superfly Superspy     “Lovestorm!” you yell, “this mission was top secret, but you said you knew I was ‘messing around with some Yakuza’. You betrayed me!” “Sorry, baby doll,” says Lovestorm, smirking. They slap a Read more...

Superfly Superspy

Posted 7:06pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

Tokyo. 2019. Three men in suits sit around a wooden table in the dimly lit room. Lamplight reflects off the velvet curtains and the tattoos spidering up each man’s neck. They grin at each other, whispering evil things and just being bad guys in general. Each are clan leaders in the Yakuza, Read more...