Going Hard: The Rowing Club’s Paralympian Programme

Posted 7:09pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Oscar Francis

Down at the waterfront, where the University Rowing Club has monopolised the OUSA aquatic centre, every Monday evening an elite group of athletes push themselves to their limits and go beyond. “Special Olympics are more about doing it, rather than the result,” Glen, the manager of the Read more...

Superfly Superspy - The Conclusion

Posted 7:07pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

Return to Superfly Superspy     “Lovestorm!” you yell, “this mission was top secret, but you said you knew I was ‘messing around with some Yakuza’. You betrayed me!” “Sorry, baby doll,” says Lovestorm, smirking. They slap a Read more...

Superfly Superspy

Posted 7:06pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

Tokyo. 2019. Three men in suits sit around a wooden table in the dimly lit room. Lamplight reflects off the velvet curtains and the tattoos spidering up each man’s neck. They grin at each other, whispering evil things and just being bad guys in general. Each are clan leaders in the Yakuza, Read more...

The Best Places to Cry Around Uni: A Critic Investigation

Posted 6:50pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Phillip Plant

Those of you who know me, and that’s hardly anyone, will know that I am a master of rating things. As a serious investigative journalist, I have tirelessly devoted the past fortnight to unravelling the mysteries of crying places, otherwise known as “wet spots”. Also, I had a whole Read more...

UoO Moaningful Confessions | Admission to Submission

Posted 6:45pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Critic

It all started with my drunken admission of my dream threesome with my two besties, Elle* and Jay*. To put this in context, my dry spell had lasted months and was now bleeding into my first year of Uni. Surprisingly this suggestion actually led somewhere. It is decided that the threesome shall be Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore

Posted 6:42pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Mamacita. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email blinddate@critic.co.nz     Adam Sandler My date greeted me with a nervous but sweet smile and a Read more...

Top 10 ways to tell someone you have an STI

Posted 6:33pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Critic

Emojis. There’s no better way to tell your Tinder hookup from a month ago about your pubic lice than sending a crab and eggplant emoji side by side. Hire a sky writer to write a message announcing your chlamydia. The sky’s the limit. Make a public declaration on Facebook. Bonus Read more...

Cutlers Pulls ‘Exploitative’ Campaign and Apologises

Posted 12:36pm Wednesday 1st May 2019 by Sinead Gill

Earlier today we published a piece on Cutlers Property Management’s recent tender campaign, where instead of students applying for a flat at a fixed price, they must send Cuttlers their “best offer.” The highest offer, and best ‘quality’ of applicant, will Read more...

Students Call Cutler’s Latest Campaign “Exploitation”

Posted 10:49am Wednesday 1st May 2019 by Sinead Gill

On Monday, Cutlers Property Management launched a ‘tender campaign’ of “arguably the most notorious flat on campus,” the ‘Debacle’, on their student Facebook page. This means that instead of students applying for a flat at a fixed price, students must send them Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 09

Posted 2:06am Friday 26th April 2019 by R. RY, Bachelor of Arts

This week the ODT are being heartbreakingly self-aware.   For some reason, there was a lot of feet related content this week.     Really? Because when I walked into the polling booth on my hands and picked up the pen with my prehensile toes, they called me an Read more...