It all started with my drunken admission of my dream threesome with my two besties, Elle* and Jay*. To put this in context, my dry spell had lasted months and was now bleeding into my first year of Uni. Surprisingly this suggestion actually led somewhere.
It is decided that the threesome shall be a birthday gift for Elle with Jay being left out. Months pass, filled with teasing from Elle and her long distance BF (Matt*), BDSM tests, and the occasional tasteful nude.
That fated week in August finally comes around, bringing with it a visit from Matt, the prospect of a good fuck, and with great misfortune, Satan’s waterfall. We decided to press on anyway.
Night One: Formal Introductions and Slight Seduction
The lights were low; two single mattresses we’d gotten from the RAs were spread on floor, just waiting for something to happen. An array of at least $500 worth of sex toys teased us, begging to be used. Whips, vibrators, cuffs, and ribbons, all at our disposal.
I can still remember the heat of that night. The sweat soaking through the sheets. The feel of it in my mouth and down my throat. My skin carried the effects of that night for days after.
The $70 of pizza and Camp Rock really went down a treat. But that was the only thing that went down that night due to the whole period and pain situation.
Night Two: Working Out the Kinks
To set the scene just imagine everything from the night before, minus pizza, plus some towels and music. Yah girl was getting fucked, period be damned.
After getting naked we’re at a slight loss as to what to do cause no one ever teaches you how to start a threesome. Our advice: start with the tiddies. They deserve all the love. While I understood why tiddies are amazing, it’s a whole other thing to be able to feel someone else’s. It’s a fucking privilege.
Then Matt got to distracting me. Hands tied above my head, I was completely subject to his whims. He started kissing, sucking, biting. Leaving his mark on my skin.
He leaves me cold and I open my eyes to a glorious sight: Elle, wearing a purple strap on, haloed by the softly glowing fairy lights. It was a religious experience.
We start going through positions like the Karma Sutra was our set reading. We enjoyed putting on a show for Matt, chasing our pleasure. Elle soon realised how much effort having a dick was; thrusting is a lot of work. It was harder still as the quote of the night ended up being, “my DiCk feLL oFF!” (Adult Toy Mega Store, Fetish Fantasy Strap-On: 2/5. You need to be thicc for it to work.
Unfortunately, the week had to end and Matt had to go home. Nonetheless my submissive ass was happy to be dominated by two wonderful people.
Night Three: Redemption Arch
So fast forward to Second year and we all live next to each other. So we’re at a banging flat party. Like there were friends, there was ABBA, and we were all many dranks in. So the only reasonable place to go from there was a three way make out (sorry to those at the party, but not really).
Thankfully, an Uber was called and flatmates were sufficiently warned. We only had to suffer five very tedious minutes of pretending to be sober quite poorly in the Uber.
As soon as we were home the clothes were off, the tunes and fairy lights were on, and the door was closed. Let’s just say I learned a few new kinks that night and that unprotected sex is fun until you have to take the ECP the next day.
Moral of the story: casually suggesting a threesome may actually get you places. If it does, have a reliable contraception method, make sure you’re clean (Family Planning is free for those under 22, btw) and have a fun, kinky, and consensual time.
