- Emojis. There’s no better way to tell your Tinder hookup from a month ago about your pubic lice than sending a crab and eggplant emoji side by side.
- Hire a sky writer to write a message announcing your chlamydia. The sky’s the limit.
- Make a public declaration on Facebook. Bonus points for the various reactions you will get.
- Get it tattooed as a tramp stamp. Even though the STI may be curable, live by the immortal words of Six60 and “don’t forget your roots”.
- Scream it in public. Lecture theatres, the octagon, pint night – you name it. Embrace it. Live your truth.
- Put it in your Tinder bio. It’s best to be upfront and honest.
- Post it on Dunedin News. I mean, it is the most accurate source of news in our current media. Be sure to tag the person.
- Set up an elaborate game of Guess Who, with exclusively your face. Ask the question “does your character have an STI?” and watch the magic unfold.
- Write a surf rock song about your STI. Invite your romantic partner to the next Open Mic Night at Dog With Two Tails and perform it live.
- Set out a very intricate and intense scavenger hunt that leads them to Student Health for an STI check.
Top 10 ways to tell someone you have an STI
