ODT Watch | Issue 23

Posted 1:03am Friday 13th September 2019

Let’s start this week with a classic ol’ ODT pun   Yeah it’s about a toilet that’s doing well. How did you guess?   Then ODT hit us hard with the facts     We move on to my favourite section of the ODT, the “Ask a Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 22

Posted 10:17pm Sunday 8th September 2019

  University of Otago Marine Biology postgraduates have reportedly been working on a classified project involving local seal populations. Seems seals struggle to save sufficient serotonin to cite circumspection.       After weeks of lying to himself about Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 21

Posted 5:26pm Sunday 1st September 2019

This week the ODT had a series of ethical dilemmas. First, the age old question: And then an enigma for the modern age,   Always go potatoes. Property is nothing but trouble.   The ODT have a brave new marketing strategy… The ODT are notorious for being Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 20

Posted 8:18pm Saturday 17th August 2019

This week the ODT have some hard-hitting questions   Yes.   Next, Winston Peters’ mother has something to fucking say “No one apart from my son, Winston S. Peters, should be allowed to vote.” Winston was later heard saying, “Shuduuuup Mum, Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 19

Posted 2:49pm Monday 12th August 2019

This week, the ODT is reporting on a miraculous occurrence. “MAGIC’S NOT REAL.” I cried into my pillow, insanely jealous.   The ODT have been getting really into classic children’s film Monsters Inc. (2001), directed by Pete Docter.Rude. Mike Wazowski is a Read more...

ODT Watch | The Five Stages of Encountering A Small Penis

Posted 5:20pm Friday 19th July 2019

1. You see the tiny beast, and are in immediate mourning for your genitalia     2. He puts it in and your worst fears are confirmed.     3. After a few thrusts, you’re warming up to the action, maybe there’s potential Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 15

Posted 12:36am Friday 12th July 2019

This week someone let the ODT read the thesaurus again…     Then a sage warning about an upcoming crisis:     We should all be mindful of World Juggling Day, specifically mindful of how to end this pagan sacrilege once and for all.   We Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 13

Posted 10:46pm Thursday 23rd May 2019

  Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.     Honestly? The ODT has published a lot of filth but this takes the cake. The only kind of sex that should be promoted in any piece of media is vanilla missionary sex that lasts for 30 seconds. We bet you Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 12

Posted 12:55am Friday 17th May 2019

  Fresh from the writer’s festival, the ODT debuts their newest all-ages educational column, ‘Things That Can Go In Airplanes’.     They’ve been freeloading in good, wholesome, capitalist Earth for too long.     It has Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 10

Posted 9:57pm Thursday 2nd May 2019

This week the ODT brings us some wisdom:         A little-known Shakespeare fact is that “meteor” is slang for vagina. And the real meteors are the friends you make along the way.   The balance of the universe is Read more...

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R. RY, Bachelor of Arts

Bazza