Milkshake Wrestling, Hypnotists and Buckets of Vomit: A History of O-Week

Posted 9:42pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Caroline Moratti

O-Week is a beautiful time of the year. Wearing too much body glitter, you meet your first-year boyfriend for the first time in the line for toga, and then proceed to throw up White Rhinos in the Arana bushes for the remainder of the evening. It’s a confusing, smelly time of sex, social Read more...

Campus Watch and the Code of Conduct

Posted 9:35pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Erin Gourley

It’s 2005 in North Dunedin. Everyone has a bad haircut. Somewhere in the distance students huddle around a burning couch. Broken glass glitters on the footpath. The 4:20 Club smoke cannabis each week on Union Lawn. Bars around campus sell cheap drinks to drunk students. Undie 500 is getting Read more...

Students to Watch: You

Posted 9:32pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

Over the past 25 issues, we’ve been documenting people on campus who are making an impact on the community around them. From people who run community groups, fashion designers, entrepreneurs, to those dedicated to the best chicken nugget deals around town. We only had space to fit in a select Read more...

“Manic-Noisy-Fun-Pop-Punk” – Mary Berry

Posted 9:28pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Sophia Carter Peters

Mary Berry’s win at the recent Bring the Noise competition has brought them swiftly into the student music scene, which they have taken by storm. I met the band members in an alleyway coffee shop. After procuring the necessary caffeine for any human interaction, Julie Dunn (bass), Jade Read more...

All The Time We Scooped the ODT This Year

Posted 9:25pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Sinead Gill

Critic: 19 February - OUSA to Introduce Drug Testing for O-Week ODT: 19 February - OUSA introduces drug checking for O-Week   Critic: 21 February - OUSA Ran Drug Testing for O-Week ODT: 26 February - 60 O-Week drug tests carried out   Critic: 14 March - Drug Testing Finds a Read more...

Student Refuses to Remove Apple Watch During Sex

Posted 9:21pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by The Critical Tribune

“I just can’t risk it,” he says. “What if an important email comes in while I’m shaggin? My life moves too fast, man, I can’t tap out while I bang it out.” What a tremendous lifestyle. Sources close to the student report that this claim is “entirely Read more...

Graduation Actually One Giant Apple Data Harvest

Posted 9:21pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by The Critical Tribune

A reliable source within the University has anonymously leaked information to the Critical Tribune regarding December’s graduation ceremony. Mr X has confirmed that Charlene Chainz has sold the physical data of all attending graduates to Apple Inc., in exchange for a 100-foot yacht that she Read more...

Student Attends Semi-Regular Careers Expo; Is Inundated With Employment Offers

Posted 9:20pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by The Critical Tribune

Commerce student Lyndon Bridge is overwhelmed this week by an inbox simply bursting with job opportunities. Sources close to Bridge said that he heeded the advice of the Careers Centre and attended one of the highly exclusive events held in the Link on a Tuesday from 1pm-4pm. Six sparse tables Read more...

Thing the Person Sitting Next to You in the Library Studying Looks Hard

Posted 9:19pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by The Critical Tribune

Oh boy, you thought your work was hard, you’ve just had a little peep at the laptop screen of the person next to you in the library and it’s completely incomprehensible. They must be a genius; they’re not even sweating looking at all those complicated squiggles and graphs. Your Read more...

UoO Moaningful Confessions | Issue 26

Posted 9:17pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Critic

Had a sexual encounter that was unusual, scandalous, or spicy? Send in your moaningful confession to critic@critic.co.nz     Before we get into this story I need to explain something so the end makes sense. In the hall last year my friend and I took these sexy red undies from Read more...