#NoFap: Why some guys refuse to do the five finger shuffle

Posted 3:28pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Sean Gourley

Masturbating, fapping, wanking, marching the penguin, or making the bald man cry. Palm Sunday is a ritual for many a dusty Dunedin dude.  Most people don’t notice any negative consequences beyond the occasional wave of soul-crushing shame. But no-fappers believe masturbation creates Read more...

Nuclear Expeditions and Communist Plots: Inside the Secret Government Hunt for Uranium in Fiordland

Posted 3:25pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Elliot Weir

There was a secret government expedition to Fiordland in 1944 to search for uranium for nuclear weaponry. I went down a rabbit-hole of archives, obituaries, and letters that took me from Fiordland, to Nigeria, to Norway — to find answers to the questions I had.  I was reading an Read more...

“I Can’t Be Fucked Trying to Convert Him”: When Your Family Members Are Conspiracy Theorists

Posted 3:10pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Denzel Chung

Extensive “research” during lockdown revealed a terrible secret to Carlos’* uncle. “The sun is sending diseases into our atmosphere because it’s losing energy and going out.”  It seems everyone has that uncle or kuia, gong gong or tita: one moment, Read more...

Consequences of Bitcoin Debated

Posted 3:02pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Quintin Jane

You can buy a Tesla with it, and you can evade the feds with it, but recent reports from Cambridge University show that bitcoin mining consumes more power than the entire country Argentina, and accounts for nearly 1% of global power consumption. Actual, physical mining accounts for 4–7% of Read more...

There’s Asbestos in the Biochem Building

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Alex Leckie-Zaharic

A routine story about the University proactively clearing away asbestos from an old building as part of an upgrade took an unexpected turn when the University sent mixed messages.  An earlier statement sent to Critic Te Arohi said that only the safer, “non-friable” form of Read more...

Only 1% of Uni Students Don’t Consume Caffeine

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Fox Meyer

A new Massey study circulated by prominent science publisher MDPI found that nearly every single New Zealand tertiary student consumes caffeine on a near-daily basis. Caffeine was most commonly consumed as energy drinks, coffee, tea, or chocolate. The real news here is that 1% of students somehow Read more...

Uni Wants Some New Rules, OUSA Says “Mmmm idk about that”

Posted 2:50pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Fox Meyer

OUSA pointed out a fuckton of problems with the proposed changes to the Code of Conduct in a 20-page submission to the University. The Uni is updating its Code of Conduct and received public submissions on the proposal until 7 May.  The very first thing that the Exec said in their submission Read more...

Fire Shuts Down Lectures

Posted 2:47pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Alex Leckie-Zaharic

The dreary walk into University up Union St East was made a little more exciting on Wednesday morning, with the already scaffolding-covered College of Education Auditorium surrounded by four fire engines responding to the sight of smoke. According to a University spokesperson, a “small, Read more...

Samoan Students On Why Their Country is Ready for Change

Posted 2:45pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Erin Gourley

The Samoan election was in a deadlock between a new opposition party, FAST, and the current governing party, HRPP. Another seat was added to break the deadlock, but it’s not clear whether that was legal, and the Head of State has recently called for a fresh election, but it’s not clear Read more...

“Farewell After 45 Years, Here, Have a Coffee and a Christmas Voucher”

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Denzel Chung

Just two months after asking for “a bit of respect, a bit of courtesy” from her workplace of 45 years, Sue Loan who previously co-ordinated delivery of newspapers across Dunedin, received a 15 minute coffee break and two New World vouchers left over from Christmas.  “We are Read more...