Archive

Dunedin Flat Names Project | Staying in Touch

Posted 7:42pm Thursday 19th April 2018 by Sarah Gallagher

As long as student flats have been named, students have communicated their identity in a number of ways – in addition to hanging a shingle out the front of the house, that is. These means of identification go hand in hand with the communications technology of the time. Way back in 1991, I paid Read more...

ODT Watch | The Week the ODT Correctly Identified a Cucumber

Posted 6:22pm Thursday 19th April 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week the ODT are pondering a question   Simple: Presbyterians, Vegetarians, Finns and anyone whose surname includes the letter J. But nobody else!     Next, the ODT forgot the difference between past and present tense   It “was” to Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor

Posted 6:12pm Thursday 19th April 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to the Dog With Two Tails. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz   Wonder Woman The Critic blind date seems to have a Read more...

Advice on Giving Advice | How to Give it to That Git in the Middle of the U-Bar Mosh

Posted 6:03pm Thursday 19th April 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis-Haymes and Kelly Davenport

Pint night is the old-but-kinda-nouveau-new thing for those who are keen on a social Wednesday evening. Because of this, the U-Bar mosh is arguably the most sociologically significant location for Dunedin students. There is an important code of etiquette to partaking in the mosh, so freshers listen Read more...

Corona Tastes Like Nothing

Posted 5:58pm Thursday 19th April 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Corona is popular. No understatement, Corona is like herpes, because every third person in the room has it, and it’s usually a fuckboi. Like a dude passed out on the couch and a girl crying on the verandha, Corona is the permanent staple of every flat party. They’re nice to drink, but Read more...

Animal Research Lab Discovers Stab Wounds Are Deadly for Many Marine Animals

Posted 11:23pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Critic

University of Otago zoology researchers have reported groundbreaking findings with the help of the new Animal Research Lab. According to a study by professor John Radlow, many marine animals, including salmon, trout, squid, and penguins, were found to be highly susceptible to injury and/or death Read more...

“Nice Guys Always Finish Last,” Says Man Who Regularly Calls Women “Cunts” on the Internet

Posted 11:21pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Critic

“Bitches and sluts these days only wanna date jerks. No luck for nice guys like me,” said local man Brandon Lee in an internet rant yesterday. Lee, who is known for his extremist political opinions, anime fandom, and general unpleasantness, complained bitterly about “always being Read more...

Hyde Street Lad Revamps Wardrobe by Adding Second Pair of Jandals

Posted 11:21pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Critic

Boomer Jenkins, a third year lad and resident at The Chum Bucket on Hyde Street, has announced a new look for the fall season. After blowing out his Student Life Jandals, Boomer invested in a slick blue and white pair from the Kmart $4 section. “I like to keep things fresh,” Boomer Read more...

Aspiring Songwriter Discovers Metaphor About Love and Drugs

Posted 11:19pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Critic

In the middle of a four hour weed-fuelled songwriting blitz, local musician Kezza Richards wrote a line he believes will “fucking change the game bro”. In what may be a first for the music industry, Kezza has drawn an analogy between the emotion of love and certain illegal mind-altering Read more...

The Post-Fact World | Issue 07

Posted 10:53pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Critic

Raisins are dehydrated mouse brains Mouse brains are dehydrated mouse brains Human brains are hydrated pineapples Steve Buscemi is the slowly decaying corpse of Adam Sandler’s original body Green pens are better for the environment Octopus ink is octopus stink Jesus is the Read more...

Mr Sandler, Bring Me A Dream | Jack and Jill

Posted 10:28pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

Honestly, following the shit show that was That’s My Boy last week, I feel at the end of my tether with this fucking column. Adam Sandler is beginning to ruin my life. Every week I question my morals and reevaluate my life as I have to choose another Sandler film to watch. Why have I subjected Read more...

Food Reviews | Lisa's Hummus

Posted 10:26pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by David Emanuel

Hummus is the best thing to come out of the Middle East since oil. Lisa’s Hummus is a sure-fire way to add an exotic blast to any average student meal. Its wonderful flavour hits your tongue like an airstrike. Nobody quite knows who actually invented hummus, but what we can be sure about is Read more...

Dunedin Flat Names Project | The Six60 Flat

Posted 10:24pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Sarah Gallagher

Seven years ago on a rainy Monday morning in Christchurch, I picked up the phone and called Ji Fraser from Six60, to interview him about his band, named after their flat at 660 Castle Street. When I asked him about how he found flatting in Dunedin, he responded diplomatically: “Flats are not Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Cleanskin Pinot Gris

Posted 10:22pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Cleanskin Pinot Gris is a playful number that dances gently on the taste buds and fills the room with laughter. Of course, by “dance,” I mean “stomp” and by “laughter” I mean “screams of pain”. Cleanskin takes all the leftover backwash from all the Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Minnie and Mickey

Posted 10:20pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to the Dog With Two Tails. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz   Minnie The night started nervously at 7:00 pm with a fine bottle Read more...

Advice on Giving Advice | How to Win Every Drinking Game

Posted 10:18pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis-Haymes and Kelly Davenport

If you exist in or around North Dunedin and are somewhere between 18 and 24 years of age, drinking games are gonna be an essential part of your life.   Most of us can’t remember our first drinking game, and that’s because a lot of us didn’t have someone to advise us on how Read more...

The Week the ODT Didn’t Know What a Bridge Was

Posted 10:05pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week we have a dramatic encounter   The ODT was facing up against their nemesis: the concept of “fun”.     The ODT have noticed a problem   Oh no. Not the biting spiders, why can’t it be the singing Read more...

Advice on How to Advise People That Now Really Isn’t the Time.

Posted 10:46pm Thursday 5th April 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis-Haymes and Kelly Davenport

Sometimes, even the people you are closest to get your knickers in a twist. Sometimes you want to be polite to them and avoid them. And sometimes they don’t even deserve that sort of evasive kindness. Now we’re not suggesting you get it out in a fisticuffs brawl at Castle St on Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Meghan and Harry

Posted 10:45pm Thursday 5th April 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to the Dog With Two Tails. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz Meghan It was 7pm. I’m sitting on the couch in my sweaty Read more...

Dr Nick | Developmental Origins – The Sickness of Poverty

Posted 10:41pm Thursday 5th April 2018 by Dr. Nick

Easter has come and gone, which means that Dunedin is about to get a lot colder, and students are about to get a lot sicker. The combination of low Dunedin temperatures, a complete lack of insulation in Dunedin flats, plus some very questionable student diets significantly increases the risk of Read more...