If you wanna turn your one-night stand into a relationship or at least some morning sex, then knowing how to make good, creamy scrambled eggs goes a long way. We’ll just say this: if your eggs are so dry that you need tomato sauce or aioli, you done fucked up. The secret to creamy, succulent scrambled eggs is cooking it low and slow, and stirring constantly – and of course, heaps of butter.
- Melt a tablespoon or so of butter in a saucepan or a frying pan until it starts frothing like a fresher girl on Vodka Cruisers.
- Crack two or three eggs into a separate bowl. Add a couple tablespoons of milk, do not add seasoning yet.
- Grab a fork and whisk it all up hard. Your arm should be good and practised at this motion.
- Turn the heat right down (or better yet, take it off the stove) and add your egg mixture in. You want the pan cool enough so that the eggs don’t solidify as soon as they touch it.
- Keep that temperature low, and keep moving the eggs around with a wooden spoon. Be patient, it does take a while, but it’s worth it. The key is that you’re not just slapping them on a high heat and drying them out, you’re keeping all the moisture.
- When they’re just about ready, but not quite, add salt and pepper, and stir it through. Take the pan off the heat, and the final bit of cooking should pretty much be sorted by the eggs’ own heat.
- Butter up some toast and spread it on. Eat it with a smug grin.