Critic Booze Reviews | Coruba and Cola

Posted 10:35am Friday 20th September 2019 by Sinkpiss Plath

Coruba & Cola is far too sweet. The word “cola” should tip you off - no one uses that word unless forced – and the result is a sugary jizz concoction that would leave Barry B. Benson ashamed and with a sticky lower stomach. Quick, someone grab the tissues before mum gets home. Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Kate and Leo

Posted 10:33am Friday 20th September 2019 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Mamacita. Critic Blind Date is no longer taking applications for 2019; keep an eye out for your chance next year.       Kate Dunedin is terribly small. At first, I was Read more...

OPINION: I Hate that the Uni Wasted 42k on Some Promo Screens

Posted 7:14pm Sunday 15th September 2019 by Nina Minogue

Over the last few weeks the Uni installed a massive nine panel screen in the Link that cost $42,000. It plays exclusively ads for the Uni – you know, that place you already go. I have a conspiracy. The University is slowly but surely turning the Link into a massive man-cave. Think about it, Read more...

EDITORIAL: The OUSA Presidency is Anyone's Game

Posted 6:50pm Sunday 15th September 2019 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week is the Otago University Students’ Association student elections. For those that don’t really give a fuck (fair), OUSA is the student union that represents you, entertains you, and fights for you. OUSA runs O-Week, Starters Bar, Student Support, and Clubs and Socs, as well as Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 23

Posted 1:03am Friday 13th September 2019 by R. RY, Bachelor of Arts

Let’s start this week with a classic ol’ ODT pun   Yeah it’s about a toilet that’s doing well. How did you guess?   Then ODT hit us hard with the facts     We move on to my favourite section of the ODT, the “Ask a Read more...

I tried to rip bongs through household ingedients: A heartwarming tale of overcoming oppression

Posted 1:02am Friday 13th September 2019 by Anonymous Bird

Why are we still exclusively ripping bongs through water when there’s a whole world of exotic bong rips out there. Here’re some of the hottest new bong trends for when you feel like spicing your life up:   Day 1: Mandarin Slices in syrup, $1.30 from Countdown. Difficulty: Read more...

Critic Breaks Down the OUSA Presidential Debate

Posted 12:58am Friday 13th September 2019 by Erin Gourley

Are Jack, Will and Sam the characters from a boring nursery rhyme? No, they’re the OUSA presidential candidates for 2020. It was repeatedly brought up that Jack Manning, Will Moffett, and Sam Purchas were “stale, pale, and male” during the daytime presidential forum - mostly by the Read more...

Critic Watches Student Politicians Fight Each Other

Posted 12:56am Friday 13th September 2019 by Critic

At last week’s forum debates, almost 20 students fought each other for the honour of fighting for you as your OUSA representatives. Critic was there through all of them, through the awkward roasts and the boring empty speeches. This year saw an unprecedented number of positions go Read more...

A Line About Lines

Posted 12:38am Friday 13th September 2019 by Critic

We asked students to share their best or worst experiences on drugs in ten words or less.   “So drunk, I cummed while completely soft” “Inhaled Diethyl Ether, convinced I was a garage door opener” “Made grilled cheese but with butter instead of Read more...

Horoscopes | Issue 23

Posted 12:36am Friday 13th September 2019 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Jupiter position in relation to Mercury means if they have a Hilux, run. This week’s repressed memory: James Charles’ leaked nudes.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Have pre-marital sex this week and you are going straight to hell, except if you Read more...