Archive

Takeaways:

Posted 2:18pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

Something to:     Watch   The Post-Oppenheimer Cinematic Universe   Feeling left with some existential dread after Oppenheimer? Great! Let’s make it worse. First off the block ought to be Grave of the Fireflies, a movie so emotionally devastating that Read more...

BOOZE: Jägermeister

Posted 2:18pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Some German guy - Meister Jäger, I assume - read 'George’s Marvellous Medicine' and thought, “Ya I can do zat,” and then all the other Germans were like, “I know it is only 1934, but this is ze best idea we have had in a while,” and so forth came Read more...

Editorial: Finance is just Astrology for Capitalists

Posted 2:14pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Last time we talked about bad timing: why announcing a million-dollar rebrand during massive staff cuts is a bad idea, even if the rebrand itself is a good call. This time we’re gonna be talking about maths.   Unlike the decision to rebrand, the decision to set a budget is rooted Read more...

Chargrills: Chicken Curry

Posted 2:13pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

You know what? This is far from the best curry I’ve had. It was warm and curry-like, but I probably wouldn’t eat it again. Nice and simple, yes. Will warm you up and give you some veggies. If it was a movie it would be Avatar, beautiful visuals but forgettable story and ultimately Read more...

Local Produce: Fairuza

Posted 2:12pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Jordan Irvine

Fairuza is new to the Ōtepoti music scene, but is making a quick and strong presence. As one of the few gender queer bands in Dunedin, Fairuza have established themselves as the band to follow. Only forming this year, members Phaedra (guitar/vocals), Lucy (bass/vocals) and Vzynn (drums/vocals) Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 17

Posted 2:05pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Watch   Endangered Species Aotearoa   Streaming on TVNZ On Demand (so, free!), this is a more hands-on nature show than your classic David Attenborough documentary. It is hosted by conservationist Nicola Toki and comedian Pax Assadi who visit spots around the country in search Read more...

Local Produce: The Audio Visual Dropkicks

Posted 1:57pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

They’re only second-years, but The Audio Visual Dropkicks have dropped in big to the Dunedin Sound, already playing a fair share of ski club parties and even following Hans Pucket on the road for two shows last month. Critic Te Ārohi chatted with the band about their freshly released EP Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 17

Posted 1:54pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 To get through the last few weeks of winter, treat yourself to your favourite comfort foods. Think ramen, mashed potatoes, pasta. All the carbs you can dream of. Make the most of hibernation, baby!  Habit to break: Picking your nose.  Pisces Feb 19 Read more...

Chargrills: STEAK SALAD

Posted 1:50pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's mid-winter. Buy wine instead of a box and use the excess money to buy feta and orange kumara. You deserve it. Get the veggies in and get the flu out. Life’s short, eat good food and your body will thank you.    Ingredients    600g of rump or blade steak Read more...

Editorial: Begin the Warpath

Posted 1:48pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Fox Meyer

I often write these columns with second-years in mind, because that’s usually who reads this magazine. And so I tend to write silly little editorials with fun facts and stories in them because life is already pretty stressful and depressing and the last thing a second-year wants is another Read more...

An Open Letter from the POAG Organising Committee

Posted 1:40pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Student life is marked by so many indignities that you’re supposed to accept: the cold, the debt, the lack of nutrition, the shift work for petty tyrants. All the labours that make you question your life choices and whether it’ll be worth it for some shining future. It gets worse, Read more...

Booze review: MAJOR MAJOR

Posted 1:38pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

DUDE, before MAJOR MAJOR came into my life, I would have never had the confidence to drill a hole into the Vice Chancellor’s office and fill it with bees, but now with MAJOR MAJOR I’m living my true university experience! Let’s all go break bottles on the try-line of Victoria Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: On the rag

Posted 1:32pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

I was just about to leave for uni, so me and my girlfriend at the time wanted to tick as many boxes as we could. We had a pretty kinky sex life – think like, rough rough – but at that point our sex had mostly been box-ticking, so to speak. However, on one fateful and particularly horny Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 16

Posted 4:54pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 As the semester kicks off, it appears there is some romance waiting in the wings for you. Don’t let your commitment issues or dark humour scare this potential lover off; try and be remotely normal for once.  Self care Sunday moment: Rotting with a Read more...

Local Produce: ​​Paradox Princess

Posted 4:52pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

“Quite like Barbara but don’t fuck with cops, I’m coming to Shorty in a crop top,” Paradox Princess spits on her track ‘Utopia For Sale.’ Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Paradox Princess to talk about her upcoming album ‘Creating A Time Read more...

Booze review: GIN

Posted 4:48pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Gin is medicine; it’s true. I was prescribed it, along with heroin, by my 19th century doctor. He says, “It takes the edge off of Mondays.” I miss the days when you could be prescribed alcohol by a doctor. You know you’re a special case when your doctor says, “Jesus, Read more...

Chargrills: Mexi Bowls but fod-friendly

Posted 4:46pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It’s still cold again. You know where it’s still NOT cold? Mexico. Let’s pretend we’re there again. But this time we have a sensitive tummy. Sand between toes, Trump caps everywhere. The sound of breaking waves but no rumbly, gassy tummy. Just hunger. Perfect. Read more...

Moaningful Confessions:

Posted 4:40pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

The story about the most embarrassing sex of my life starts back when I was a first-year. I was working a part time job and, like all naive first-years, I hadn't learnt to not get involved with coworkers. The guy in question, we'll call him Sam, was a couple years older than me but Read more...

Moaningful Confessions:

Posted 4:40pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

The story about the most embarrassing sex of my life starts back when I was a first-year. I was working a part time job and, like all naive first-years, I hadn't learnt to not get involved with coworkers. The guy in question, we'll call him Sam, was a couple years older than me but Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 16

Posted 4:39pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

Watch   Day After Tomorrow & Happy Feet Combo   An icy double-header of forgotten classics. Happy Feet is one of the better movies from 2006 that you haven’t watched in ages, directed by George Miller between his Mad Max movies (meaning, canonically, Mumble and Read more...

Editorial: Bring Back Child Labour

Posted 4:29pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

It’s the meme that started it all. And while we all laughed about it, we were too shy to admit that they were kinda right. That’s why, heading into election season, I am once again challenging any of the major parties to announce their plan to bring back child labour. Hear me Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 15

Posted 10:09pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time for you to normalize insanity. Flatmates pissing you off? Scream at them and eat their cheese. Situationship going downhill? Fuck someone else. Life is too short to not be your best, unhinged self.  Way to get warm: Read more...

Editorial: Dude, Where’s my Castle Host?

Posted 10:05pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

I’ve heard talk that Castle hasn't had an open host since O-Week. What’s up with that? Ya scared?   If you live on Castle, you have a communal responsibility to throw open hosts beyond the bare minimum dates of O- and Re-O-Weeks. That’s what Castle is known for, and Read more...

Booze review: RUM(S)

Posted 10:00pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Rum is the blindfold that humanity gladly adorns when things get messy.  A tipple of rum to the war-torn soldier leavens the load of indefinite suffering, and the base aromat of orange and vanilla is as familiar to fruit the sailor will get. The legacy of rum is often a swansong to the Read more...

Chargrills: Mexi-Bowls

Posted 9:54pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It’s cold. You know where it’s not cold? Mexico. Let’s pretend we’re there. Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine the feeling of sand between your toes. Imagine the background noises of the United States attempting to overthrow yet another Southern democracy. Perfect. Read more...

Local Produce: Soul Chai

Posted 9:51pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

While you’re retiring from kick-ons in the early hours of Saturday, Daniel Fitzpatrick is up and brewing the perfect cure to nurse your hangover and winter blues. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Daniel to spill the tea on his farmers market venture, Soul Chai.   As Soul Chai, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: She Pea on my Nut till I Butter

Posted 9:47pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Critic

Hope you don’t have a peanut allergy because this one is about to get saucy. So it’s about a year ago, maybe two, and I’m in a UniFlat. We’re doing flat dinners so everyone cooks once a week. And there was an international girl who was living with us who I was really into, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 14

Posted 1:33pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Take a trip to Veggie Boys this week. Grocery prices are fucked, and you will probably need some nutrients after re-o. Leeks are good this time of year.  Re-O Activity: Take shrooms and have a spiritual awakening.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Winter Read more...

Chargrills: RE-O RECTIFIER: Beef Edition

Posted 1:30pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

And we're back with a simple DINNAAAAAA. We're talking beef and vegetables, or you can use fake meat or tofu to keep it vegan. All with some sachet sauce. Tuck into this for a Re-O rectifier that won’t break the bank.    Ingredients   Drizzle of oil (fun Read more...

Local Produce: 3D Printed Nipples

Posted 1:26pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Hayley Stent

Research Associate Professor Jaydee Cabral is an Otago researcher and lecturer who is taking 3D printing to a whole new level. Her lab is going to be printing nipples. Yes: printing nipples with a 3D printer.  Of all things to 3D print, why nipples? Jaydee has a good reason. She is going to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Long as Fuck, And Also Gross

Posted 1:21pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Critic

It was 2018, I was recovering from my first heartbreak/trying to figure out how to stop fucking my ex every single time we felt like it, so naturally I downloaded Tinder - surely some fresh dique to be found there. I organised a date with this guy called Matt (was going to change his name but never Read more...

Editorial: The Uni Budget Collapse if it were a Deck

Posted 1:05pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

Let's say you live in a flat with an awesome, party-ready deck. It costs a bit to maintain, but that’s okay because it’s the right thing to do. People love coming over to party on the deck and it’s totally safe because your landlord pays the maintenance bill. It’s their Read more...

Booze Review: Your Uncle's Homebrew

Posted 1:03pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

New Zealand’s unhealthy relationship with alcohol is built on the solid foundations of your uncle’s homebrew.    Whether the uncle in question is yours or a mate’s, the product is the same. You’ve likely had a shot of their 80% alc/vol moonshine which was Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 13

Posted 6:35pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to enter your problematic era. Start some shit, spread a rumor, call it how you see it. Take no prisoners this week, besties. Scandal of the week: Pizzagate.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 There is something about pisces and your ability to Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Green Curry

Posted 6:23pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's a freezing Dunners Tuesday. You're nearly on the downhill slope to the weekend, but it's still shit because it's 2 degrees and you’re not quite there yet. Your living room is colder than it is outside and your puffer vest and beanie aren't quite stopping your breath Read more...

Pōpopo - Jamiema Lorimer | Local Produce

Posted 6:17pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Would you still love me if I was a worm? Pōpopo wormporium, the composting initiative of Otago Polytechnic, definitely would. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Liam Hoffman and his worms to find out more. Pōpopo is OP’s very own composting facility created to deal with Read more...

Moaninful Confession: Seal the Deal

Posted 6:13pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Critic

It was break, and we were spending a few nights at my boyfriend’s parent’s place. Naturally we both were hungry for some alone time. So off we go: “an excursion for fresh air”. We walked and talked, but that just wasn’t cutting it. Next thing I knew, a quiet kiss on the Read more...

Editorial: Vic Uni’s Student Mag SCANDAL

Posted 5:22pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Fox Meyer

Victoria University Wellington has joined Otago University in announcing substantial job cuts in the wake of financial strain. Because of course they did, they’re always trying to copy us. The announcement that Otago will be entering a newer, slimmer staffing era (so chic!) sent ripples Read more...

Booze Review: Fizzliss Old Fashioned Lemonade + Vodka

Posted 5:18pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Built into the human genome is a predisposition toward enjoying bubbles. All things bubbly. Bubbles in my bath, bubbles that meander through the air, Bubbles shooting up heroin in the streets of West Baltimore. A momentary existence punctuated with a satisfying *pop*; there is no situation that does Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 12

Posted 4:16pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Troubled waters ahead! Be sure to navigate your friendships and relationships accordingly, as tension is on the horizon. Also, wash your sheets. It’s been way too long. Kiwi tune to play: ‘Something In The Water’ by Brooke Fraser Pisces Feb Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Yearner’s License

Posted 4:13pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Critic

It started at a beach at sunset and ended at an ice rink parking lot. As all good stories do. We had pulled up at Kilda to do the whole romantic thing of watching the sun setting over the sea. It worked - things were getting heated and before I knew it my shirt was off. The condensation on the Read more...

Editorial: Music to My Ears

Posted 4:10pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Fox Meyer

As it’s music month, I can’t think of any better time to introduce this gem from the past: ACT MP David Seymour’s first appearance on the decks as a DJ, from back in his days as a student at Auckland Uni. This is honestly such an important part of NZ music culture and I Read more...

Chargrills: Brownies

Posted 4:07pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Winter’s setting in and dinner just doesn't cut it sometimes. Most flats have a bunch of baking supplies leftover from the mid-Covid baking panic of 2021, so make use of them. Stop frowning and make your flat a brownie. This is one of the top three things I've had in my mouth. Get into Read more...

Booze Review: Purple Death

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

All the appeal of cough syrup, without the fun effects. Purple Death is like a Fast & Furious marathon: you’re excited to revel in something objectively terrible with your friends, and it is fun initially, but after three hours of staring at Vin Diesel's fat head you begin to wonder Read more...

Local Produce: Je Pleure

Posted 3:32pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Je Pleure is a fashion brand established by Jack King. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the young designer from Ōtepoti. Je Pleure first began as an alias Jack used to release his own art under. “I was originally going to call it ‘I CRY’ until my French friend blurted Read more...

Booze Review: Rochdale Classic Apple Cider

Posted 3:07pm Monday 15th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Four ciders a day makes your doctor go, “Oh, fuck.”   Rochdale Classic Apple Cider is an economical drop for breathers that want to piss off their beer-loving friends. Why is it that every time cider is brought up in a public conversation, some tradie in a mucked-out ute Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 11

Posted 3:39pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s easy to feel alone in this world. But don’t worry. A new, special someone is on the horizon for you. Don’t give up on love and comfort, it’s just around the corner. Snack of the week: Spring rolls.  Pisces Feb 19 - Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Pumpkin Soup

Posted 3:35pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Winter’s here, so it’s time to get warm from the inside out. Soup is slept on so hard until you have it again for the first time in years and you get to dip a chunk of hearty bread into a thick bowl of saucy goodness, feeling like a medieval peasant after a hard day’s toil in the Read more...

Local Produce: The Beatniks

Posted 3:32pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

The Beatniks are named after the track ‘Beatnik’ by OG Dunedin Sound band The Clean, which itself makes reference to the Beat Generation subculture of the 60s. Although what The Beatniks do is different to what happened in the 60s, they’re part of a subculture of their own: the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Not begging for moa

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Critic

Music has the ability to bring people together. So do taxidermied moa. And blowjobs. As it turns out, all of the above can also tear people apart and sow weeks of exasperated sighs into your everyday life. Let me explain: It was midnight on a Friday. I was single and “ethically” Read more...