Archive

How to Take Your Landlord to Court

Posted 9:58pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Zak Rudin

Dunedin’s rental rates are rising faster than any other university town in the country, but the quality of the homes is not exactly a sterling standard. Since people come and go every year, it can be easy for a property owner to neglect a home for years on end, always promising to do work for Read more...

Prime Minister Chris Hipkins: On the Tertiary Sector, Student Life, and Protesting

Posted 9:44pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

Prime Minister Chris Hipkins represents one thing: hope. At least, hope for rangas and hope for people from The Hutt that, despite the circumstances they were born into, they too can achieve their dreams. While he now has the biggest job in the country, it wasn’t long ago that Chippy was just Read more...

Opinion: Nepotism: It’s okay if it’s tradition!

Posted 5:58pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Exam season may be daunting but, remember, if old mate Charlie can succeed the throne at the overripe age of 74 and still not know his allocated lines, then you can walk off that B+ with your head held high. Despite the archaic, dormant vibe that the British monarchy insists on maintaining in the Read more...

South Otago Pubs Ranked by How Scared I Am to be In Them

Posted 5:52pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Last month I cut my hair short. No longer was I the long-haired lad who sat reading Proust in the summer sun. Instead, I endeavoured to become the beer-guzzling, duck-shooting, rugby-loving, Southern man which my rugged short hair prescribed me to be. Yet how is it possible to make such a rapid Read more...

Opinion: Dear Straight Men: Gay Girls Leaving Gay Events Don’t Want to Fuck You

Posted 6:00pm Thursday 25th May 2023 by Becca Thorby

With Dunedin Pride month firmly at our backs, a memory that stands out to me was Woof! and Dunedin Pride’s club night ‘Wetness’ on March 19. The dress code was the very elaborate “moist / thirst-trap / tropical summer / poolside swimwear / evening-wear skin / cabana cocktail Read more...

Drum and Bass: How it took root in Dunedin

Posted 4:05pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

In the 1800s, they brought gorse from the UK. Now it’s everywhere. In the 2000s, another import took root in Dunedin’s soil: Drum and Bass. Whether you love to hate it or hate to love it, you can’t deny the fact that drum and bass is at the heart of Dunedin music culture. Read more...

Banned Shirts: Why Not Knowing the Band is an Act of Feminism

Posted 3:49pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Nirvana. The Beatles. Pink Floyd. Bands that mean absolutely nothing to the girlies. Or do they? In this essay, I will outline why basic bitches wearing band shirts is actually a feminist act of sticking it to the man. Self-proclaimed music bros, Anthony Fantano subscribers, and guys who tune Read more...

QUIZ: Which Dunedin Venue Are You?

Posted 3:26pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

Your latest Tinder match hits you with the dreaded question: “What kind of music are you into?” What half-truth will make you seem more interesting? Jazz, but like, real jazz. Have you seen Whiplash? I’m actually in a surf rock band, that’s probably my go-to Read more...

Opinion: Busking Needs a Glow-Up

Posted 3:06pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Hugh Askerud

As a timid fourteen-year-old, I wanted to go busking in town with my ukulele. Ignoring the fact that a ukulele is a terrible busking instrument, I quickly found myself in a swamp of bureaucratic bereavement which only subsided after I gave up on my musical dreams forever. Granted, I was a terrible Read more...

How to Know if You’ve Got The Ick

Posted 11:54am Tuesday 16th May 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

Part 1 of 2: Understanding the Ick       Understand that getting the ick is not your fault. Society often stigmatises the ick and those who suffer from it. This means it can be easy to believe that you are a bad person. And maybe you are. You might be Read more...

Correlation or Causation?

Posted 3:19pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

According to Gen Z, “pipelines” are no longer what Big Oil puts in the ground. Rather, a pipeline is an ominous way of understanding the correlation or causation between particular people and their tendencies. There are a few pipelines which are specific to Otago and greater student Read more...

Secret Community Unearthed!...Sorta

Posted 2:03pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Athletics aren’t necessarily synonymous with student life. Sport New Zealand attests to this, claiming weekly participation in sporting activity drops from 98% to 75% at the age of 18. Despite these staggering statistics, the question remains: how do breathas remain so skinny in spite of such Read more...

How to Lose a Guy in Five Dates

Posted 3:26pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Nina Brown

As someone who’s been called a serial monogamist, I recently had the novel (dis)pleasure of re-entering the Dunedin dating scene. Now, “dating scene” is a somewhat generous term for what awaits singles on the damp streets of Dunners, which I was reminded of upon redownloading Read more...

Opinion: The System Isn’t Broken

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

A clean, green, egalitarian nation. One that cares deeply for its people and wildlife, all of whom exist within a beautiful, isolated bubble of freedom, safety, and prosperity. At least, that’s what New Zealand likes to go around bragging about. But when you take a deeper, harder look at this Read more...

Burnt Out

Posted 2:38pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

“Work hard, play hard” works, until it doesn’t. Most of us drink anywhere between 1-4 nights a week, work one or two jobs, and belong to one or two clubs or volunteer groups - all on top of uni. It’s a lifestyle, and we make it work. But students are burning the candle at Read more...

All the gear, no idea

Posted 11:41am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Max Phillips

Otago is the MDMA capital of New Zealand.  Wastewater testing has revealed that Otago consumes nearly twice as much MDMA (1.8x) per capita than anywhere else in the country. In Quarter 2 of 2022, the Southern District consumed 538 mg per day per 1,000 people, compared to a national average Read more...

How to Smuggle Meth into New Zealand: Just Add Vinegar

Posted 11:38am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Rauri Warren

Imagine if New Zealand banned a specific LEGO set from crossing the border. Let’s say it’s the Titanic model, set #10294. That set comes with precisely 9,090 pieces, and only a specific combination of those pieces results in set #10294. Now let’s say that you built set #10294 Read more...

Pick your Poison: Drug Trends in Dunedin

Posted 11:32am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

The relationship between drugs and Dunedin party culture is probably stronger than your parent’s marriage. But much like fashion and music, taste in drugs has changed over the past few decades. Critic Te Ārohi decided to take a deep dive into Dunedin drug trends over time and ask why some Read more...

Moshers of the world, unite!

Posted 3:04pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Trapped in every student’s soul is an immutable desire to mosh. Whether that be in a crowd of hundreds or alone in a crusty bedroom, mosh culture is fundamental to the plight of every student. As the age old saying goes: “Up there’s for thinking, down there’s for Read more...

Different Breeds of Landlord

Posted 3:02pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Zak Rudin

Nestled throughout the sprawling ecosystem of Dunedin lies perhaps the most pervasive pest of all: the landlord. They come in all different shapes and sizes, marking territory in their own unique and equally infuriating ways. With each species of landlord comes a different experience. Critic Te Read more...

Lavender Town: A Lesbian’s Guide to a Dunedin Day Out

Posted 3:59pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Rock climbing What is it about this sport that attracts queer women? It’s true that climbing gyms are often swarming with shirtless, sweaty “boulder bros”, and outdoor walls can crawl with trad climbers sporting greying beards and bulging veins, but climbing is overall a diverse Read more...

Dammed If You Do: Safe Vulva Sex

Posted 3:17pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Note: This guide aims to inform on safe sex practices with and between vulvas. Not all women have vulvas, and not everyone with a vulva is a woman. Resources around STI prevention tend to focus exclusively on sex involving penises, even though STIs can also pass vulva-to-vulva Read more...

Homie-Eroticism: All the gay shit breathas do

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Dunedin is one of the few places on earth where you’ll hear the f-slur casually used by straight breathas who are mere hours away from drinking out of each other’s nutsacks. I posit that Breathadom creates a unique space for playful, casual male intimacy that remains socially Read more...

Ko Te Katoa o Te Ingoa i Kōrerotia

Posted 2:55pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Mātauranga taiao, environmental knowledge, has never been more relevant. Built over generations, it’s represented in the names of places all around us, and it offers insight into how these places might behave in a changing climate. That is, if you know what they Read more...

Birds of a Feather

Posted 2:34pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

Note: We’d like to thank the DCC staff who take care of Sid and his avian mates for letting us in and sharing Sid’s story. They’re keen to tell a bigger story about the ethics of aviaries, which are a relic of a more Victorian time. They can’t just get rid of the birds Read more...

My Life with the Bus Hub Barnacle

Posted 1:50pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Hugh Askerud

A bus hub barnacle is usually about 1.5 metres tall, and can be identified by their disposable vapes and matching clothing. Pack behaviour is common in this species. While they are often regarded as dangerous, like so many other mid-sized mammals, their bark is worse than their Read more...

Nut Up or Shut Up: Why Halls Should Go Vegetarian

Posted 2:06pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

The way halls work right now, with opt-in veggies but obligate meats, is completely backwards.   I don’t care if you keep eating meat in your day-to-day life. It’s kinda cringe, but ultimately, the emissions from one private jet flight outweigh any of your dietary choices. So Read more...

Cutting Your Fringe: The Cost of Defunding the Dunedin Fringe Festival

Posted 1:17pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Dunedin Fringe Festival 2023 was thrown into doubt in September last year when Creative NZ (CNZ) declined their funding application. This year’s Fringe is set to go ahead, after a crowdfunding campaign and a great show of support from the community. Critic looks at what costs it took to send Read more...

It’s All Greek to Me!

Posted 1:10pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Before you get upset about the title, understand that a toga party in New Zealand in 2023 is about as Roman as it is Martian, so making a Greek pun is excusable.   With that out of the way: Toga party. What’s the deal? This annual event has become an intrinsic part of student Read more...

Avatar 2 Sucked, Actually

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Skyla o Ngāti Hine

Avatar: The Way of Water recently ranked as the sixth-highest grossing film in all of cinematic history. Like thousands of other Kiwis around New Zealand, you may have found yourself in your local Hoyts this summer enjoying a box of popcorn and the long-awaited sequel. It’s also likely that Read more...

Game of Throwns

Posted 1:32pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Hugh Askerud

There is something distinct in the Otago student spirit which inevitably leads to a bottle, egg, or other assorted item being thrown in the streets of studentville. Maybe it's the Leith’s unyielding supply of inedible trout which spawned the madness, or perhaps the bountiful amount of food Read more...

Google Form Flat Quizzes: How Much Heat Can You Handle?

Posted 1:28pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Iris Hehir

When tensions are highest in a flat, everyone agrees to the bad idea of doing an anonymous Google Form quiz. It’s a fact of life. However, like with all good things in life, you can choose the spiciness level of these questions. From complimentary props to sulk-inducing burns, here’s Read more...

Opinion: Critic Te Ārohi Will Be Covering The Election This Year

Posted 7:53pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

For those of you too young to remember, or those who need a memory jog, Critic Te Ārohi made the decision to not cover the 2020 general election on the basis that party politicians had “nothing more to offer students than a shrivelled pea.” The decision received an extensive amount Read more...

Flo and O Party Themes, Reviewed

Posted 6:42pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Critic

    Monday 13th: Courtyard: Back to School Appropriate for day 1 of parties. Makes sense. Opportunity to wear some kinky outfits.   Eyewitness testimony: Seemed to have the most turnout as a uniform is pretty easy to source. People got sloshed immediately and many Read more...

Local Produce: Becca Caffyn

Posted 7:48pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

“I’m good at feeling and feeling deep,” Becca Caffyn laments on her new song ‘Replacement Blonde.’ The sorrowful ballad is also the title track of her debut EP. We caught up with Becca to talk about her latest music, change and processing these feelings through Read more...

Opinion on VIP Entry: Special Admission or Special Treatment?

Posted 7:44pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

For too long, Māori have been surrounded by the stigma of relying on handouts and “free money” from the government. There are social expectations of what Māori are meant to be, and if you don’t fit a particular narrative, then you aren’t Māori enough. A plastic Read more...

Dictionary of Rare Duds Slang

Posted 7:39pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Critic

Acoustic adjective: To wank without the use of sex toys, objects, or lubricant. Ex: “I forgot to charge my Satisfyer so I had to go acoustic last night.” Synonyms: Acapella, cavemanning.  Analogue: adjective. Hand-rolled cigarettes, as opposed to pre-rolled. Battler: noun. Read more...

A Guide to the Night Sky: Existential Crises Have Never Been So Accessible

Posted 6:47pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Keegan Wells

The night sky is like your lectures: you catch yourself saying “I should go look at that sometime” and rarely actually follow up. However, this article is not here to tell you to watch your lectures. Lectures cost around a box and a half ($35) apiece if you’re a domestic student, Read more...

Te Roopū Māori 2023

Posted 5:03pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Critic

Tumuaki Clay McQueen Mauri ora e te whānau! ko Clay McQueen tōku ingoa he uri au nō Ngāpuhi, Otaua, Wainui, Mataraua anō hoki. I te taha o tōku pāpā he uri au nō Kawhia me Whaingaroa, he mangainga o Hoturoa. Ka mutu, i tipu ake au i Te pū o te Read more...

Reviewing the Law Revue

Posted 3:55pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Zak Rudin

Disclaimer: this article was written by a law student (cringe). Last Saturday night saw the return of the annual Law Revue, hosted in the first year law school chapel that is Castle 1. The theme: High (Law) School Musical. Critic Te Ārohi took one for the team and put their Saturday night in Read more...

An Indigenous Opinion on the Queen’s Death:

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Skyla o Ngāti Hine

As the world remembers Queen Elizabeth II, it is clear that for many, her 70-year-long reign symbolised great strength and familiarity. However, with the #RoyalFamily TikTok hashtag skyrocketing to 17.7 billion views, and Parliament’s recent declaration of September 26th as an official day of Read more...

What Houseplant Are You?

Posted 2:46pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Nina Brown

The frost-bitten landscape of Ōtepoti doesn’t exactly provide the ideal living environment for houseplants – or students, for that matter. But there’s nothing quite like a flat filled with withering houseplants at varying stages of mortality, and this quiz will help you Read more...

Liz Stokes of The Beths on ‘Expert In A Dying Field’:

Posted 1:55pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

Aotearoa indie darlings, The Beths, released their third album ‘Expert In A Dying Field’ mid-way through this month. To Critic’s surprise, the album is not actually about our humanities/marine science students and staff looking on in despair as their department is slowly snuffed Read more...

Unipol: Opioid of the masses?

Posted 1:52pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Hugh Askerud

It’s a Saturday night. You’ve decided to do scrumpy hands and are midway through the second bottle feeling at the top of your game. Then it strikes you: that ‘what the fuck am I doing’ sort of feeling that inevitably leaves you in tears. Everyone has moments like this, where Read more...

BASK Vol. III: A Deep Dive into Ōtepoti’s Newest Creative Community

Posted 1:50pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Kaia Kahurangi Jamieson

There’s something about this city. Something that made Chris Knox pick up a guitar, Taika Waititi envision a film set in his dingy student flat, and Steven Malkmus refer to us ‘home-baking Kiwis’ in Pavement’s recently blown-up TikTok hit Harness your Hopes. We come here and Read more...

Local Produce: Dunedin Dream Brokerage

Posted 10:16pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

If you’ve heard birdsong on George Street, or admired the rainbow lights adorning the street during Pride month, then you’ve experienced the mahi of Dunedin Dream Brokerage. We talked to Madison Kelly to learn more about this dynamic local organisation.  The focus of Dunedin Read more...

Quiz: How did you get arrested?

Posted 8:34pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Critic

Oof, things are a bit blurry this morning. You’ve ended up in the paddy wagon (again!) but this time, you’re not sure how. Let’s see if we can piece things together: how did you get arrested? You’ve got a big night coming up, so the first stop is the piss shop. What are Read more...

New Zealand FurCon (Furry Convicts)

Posted 8:27pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Arlo Hill

Max the Paddle Pop Lion: Suspect Description: Max the Lion, also known as Paddle Pop the Lion, is not only the Mascot of the flavoursome ice creams; he is also the star of his own nightmare-fuelling animated TV show/movies where his otherworldly agility and strength are demonstrated. Like, Read more...

Cone Stealing

Posted 8:17pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Keegan Wells

Ah, the road cone. The orange trumpet, the witch’s hat, the tradie’s funnel. Whatever you want to call it, it serves an important purpose within society: allowing drunk students to commit a (mostly) victimless crime and be creative with interior decorating. Except it’s mostly Read more...

Behind Bars:

Posted 7:53pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan (Ngāi Tahu)

We often look to the Treaty of Waitangi as the definitive turning point in New Zealand history. As the founding document and shared agreement between two peoples, many look at this early colonial era as a time of trade, survival and adapting to a new society. Pākehā immersed themselves in Read more...


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