Littlest Hall Pets: The Pets of Campus

Littlest Hall Pets: The Pets of Campus

No, not the OUSA exec. Actual animals.

Disclaimer: I know these are not all of the animals around! These are the ones we managed to get permission to include, and had time to visit. If there are more I missed, feel free to tell me where to find them, monty@critic.co.nz.

Missing your dog back home? Mid-terms getting you down? Need someone fluffy to cry into? It’s easy to become animal-starved at Uni – you can go months without seeing a pet, and the closest thing you’ll get to a fluffy critter in North D is a passing pair of Uggs. Luckily, Otago is filled with very important animal staff members who work hard to improve morale. Critic Te Ārohi has taken up the extremely difficult task of meeting various University-affiliated animals for your enjoyment. We also discovered there are way more than we knew about, and even more out there for you to meet.  

Kinko 
“It’s Kinko’s world and we’re just living in it”

Kinko is Caroline Freeman College’s ever-demanding cat. Whether she’s screaming to be let in because she’s too small to open the motion-sensor doors or waking up residents by climbing on their faces, Kinko makes her presence known as queen of CFC. 

Place of residence: Caroline Freeman College
Rating: 10/10

Buddy
Kindly old man

Buddy is a cross between a Löwchen and a Jack Russell, giving him the appearance of a small, scruffy old man. He is very well behaved, knowing exactly where he is not allowed to go (into the dining hall) and where he is (in the corridor to greet students). After living his entire life in various student halls, Buddy adores pats and will jump up onto your legs to get them. 

Place of Residence: Cumberland College
Rating: 10/10

Fish
Fish!!!

CFC East is home to a variety of fish. While they are all wonderful, the real star of the show is the zebrafish. Known for his stupidity (dumbass didn’t even tell me his name), he can be found swimming backwards through a fake tunnel back and forth all day – a truly Sisyphean existence. Relatable. 

Place of Residence: Caroline Freeman College
Rating: 10/10

Ace
St Marg’s Secret Breatha

St Margaret’s, known for their good behaviour, has a secret true Dunedinite in their mix. After being caught too many times running away to Castle Street to eat the rubbish, good boy Ace had to have a tracker placed on him. Let my man free to party, Critic Te Ārohi says. Ace works hard every day cheering up students, dutifully wagging his tail when they walk through the door. He deserves to play hard.

Place of Residence: St Marg’s
Rating: 10/10

Flopsy
The sweetest and hungriest girl

Flopsy is St Marg’s bunny, and she is more than happy to play with students as long as she also has the opportunity to eat the garden in the process. A miniature lop-eared rabbit, she’s incredibly friendly and soft – but not very fast, so you don’t have to worry about her running away. The pot next to her cage once contained flowers, but in order to have no competition as the sweetest thing on the St Marg’s lawn, she has desecrated them. 

Place of Residence: St Marg’s
Rating: 10/10

Sumo
The Miracle Dog

If you’ve ever lost anything on campus and gone to OUSA to pick it up, you have probably seen Sumo. He got his miracle dog status after he technically died last year when his gallbladder exploded, but was brought back to life by adrenaline. After this more-than-near-death experience, he spends his days being a “slut for attention,” and is more than happy to be visited in the office while working. 

Place of Residence: OUSA Office
Rating: 10/10

Stuka
Knox has a pet magpie??

Stuka the magpie is rarely seen by Knox residents anymore, but often heard. While some magpies are incredible mimics, Stuka isn’t as great with human speech, instead opting for whistling noises. Her whistle is an adaptation of your classic tradie wolf-whistle, which she learnt when she was young from construction workers across the road. Her whistle is curious sounding but fortunately not heard in the early morning, as she is taken in doors at night so as not to disturb students.

Place of Residence: Knox College
Rating: 10/10

Maverick 
“The one and only”

Maverick is an incredibly friendly Border Collie who frequents Salmond College. He is extremely excitable and will reflect the energy of the room, whether that be barking as people cheer for rugby games, or running around the room during the Salmond Ball. Maverick is “handsome and knows it,” and regularly tries to sneak into the dining hall to steal food (despite a very clear sign prohibiting him).

Place of Residence: Salmond
Rating: 10/10

Runty
Not actually a runt!

Runty was found abandoned and given to a nursing mother who had older kittens, giving her her name as she appeared far smaller than her littermates. She is now far from abandoned, getting love from Knox students when she chooses to grace their presence. She is very friendly, and will happily flop into your arms if you give her pats.

Place of Residence: Knox College
Rating: 10/10

Pippi
Knox College Dog in Training

Pippi is Knox’s newest pet, a six-month-old black lab. She loves attention and pats (much to the chagrin of her brother), becoming incredibly socialised from all the people around. Turns out halls are good places to socialise dogs: between parties and Health Sci meltdowns, there are plenty of new experiences for her to get used to. 

Place of Residence: Knox College
Rating: 10/10

Blue
Senior Knox College Dog

Blue would like everyone to know that he loves cuddles and affection just as much as his little sister! Even if he doesn’t quite have her baby cute factor, it makes him mope when she gets more love than he does. Bred to be a hunting dog, he has lots of energy and loves to just be around people. A hall dog through and through. 

Place of Residence: Knox College
Rating: 10/10

Tui
Pussy out!

Tui has spent two and half years living on Otago campus. She is supposed to live at Te Rangi, but prefers to wander back to her old home at Arana. She enjoys manspreading in order to get her tan in, puree cat treats, and chasing birds by the St Dave’s bridge. We all wish we were as relaxed as she is. 

Place of Residence: Te Rangihīroa/Arana
Rating: 10/10

Stevie
Best girl

Stevie is the University's most fashionable pet. Sporting everything from cowboy hats to Swanndri sweaters, she lives up to her namesake Stevie Nicks (not Stevie Wonder, as I had guessed). She loves Taylor Swift (like her mum) and her enemy-turned-best-friend Freo. She is incredibly happy to get even a shred of attention, and is so spoiled that she sometimes refuses to eat unless hand fed each biscuit individually. 
Follow her @stevie_carringtoncavoodle

Place of Residence: Carrington
Rating: 10/10

Freo
Most Opinionated 

If you go to Carrington and hear barking, that’s probably Freo: a white Groodle (Golden Retriever x Poodle) hailing from Australia, she makes her voice heard at any opportunity. For example, since becoming a big sister to a (human) brother last year, she likes to let everyone know when the baby starts crying, just in case we didn’t hear. She can be found staring longingly at her favourite food during lunch (boiled eggs and ham) or running around with her best friend Stevie. 

Place of Residence: Carrington
Rating: 10/10

Charlie
Undercover Agent 

Charlie is Radio One's resident dog. Often seen wandering around the office, we at Critic Te Ārohi are very familiar with Charlie, she loves to wander in during meetings and work. She has a sweet face, and loves to try and climb into people's laps (as I discovered in trying to photograph her). However, I can’t help but suspect her of subterfuge on behalf of Radio One, stealing Critic Te Ārohi’s staff members one cute look at a time.

Place of Residence: Radio One
Rating: 10/10

This article first appeared in Issue 9, 2024.
Posted 9:09pm Friday 26th April 2024 by Monty O’Rielly.