Critic Te Ārohi once again pitted local bars against each other in our annual review. We chose sixteen heavy-hitters and put them to a vote in four rounds of polls on Critic’s Instagram story – democracy at its finest. After a nail-biting semi-final between last year’s champ Woof! and The Bog, the luck of the Irish won out by a whopping 86 votes. As the Critters (Critic staff) watched on as the battle waged for each poll, we could agree on one thing: this shit is better than TAB.
Sitting down to dissect the data, we realised we’d made one crucial error: Ombrellos was accidentally left off the bracket – as were others, but we can all agree Ombrellos is a more popular student haunt than Mr Fox. “Guess they’re not a bar anymore,” said an unsympathetic Sam from across the office.
Woof! and The Bog swept the floor in the first rounds. Poor old Tippler’s, the wee pub in North East Valley that reminds small-towners of their farmer-populated local, didn’t stand a chance against Woof! in the very first round. “Rigging the bar bracket again this year I see,” came one reply to the poll with a 80:20 split of votes. “Putting Woof! and Tippler’s together is kind of crazy because isn’t Tippler’s full of people who hate gays and Woof! is full people who love the gays,” was one in-office comment. In the second round, the bar copped 81% of votes against Eureka after finishing off Tippler’s and leaving no crumbs.
Similarly, The Bog ploughed through its competition. The Irish pub only made it to the third round last year where it was thwarted by none other than Woof!. But this year it seems The Bog loyalists were back with a vengeance, winning 78% of the votes against Vault 21 and 68% against Carousel in its first two heats.
The third round saw a tight race between Woof! and The Baaa. Two hours in, there was an exact 50/50 split, having earned 90 votes each – then 91 the next we checked. It was literally vote for vote. An hour later they were still neck and neck at 105 votes each. The suspense built with each vote matched, and the question on everyone’s mind was this: Would The Baaa knock Woof! off its long-held perch? But in the end, Woof! pulled ahead by a tight 36 votes.
In the next slide over, The Bog had pulled ahead of Emerson’s, sparking a loud in-office debate over what might have tipped it over. For Sam and Connor, it came down to the quality of bar snacks – chips specifically. It was tense. Avid Emerson’s fans staunchly defended the thrice-cooked chip, causing Sam to scoff. “Bog chips are goated bro, you just don’t get it,” he said. “I don’t think you ever will get it in all honesty.” Connor shot back: “You’re tweaking!” The Bog was triumphant by 110 votes.
We had our finalists: Woof! and The Bog. Each represented Critic’s core audience demographics: the gays and the breathas. Once again, it was neck and neck in the initial hours of the finals. It was like watching an Olympic rowing competition as Woof! and The Bog alternated nosing ahead of the other with each refresh. As the race unfolded, the comments flowed in from supporters on each bench.
The student army of quiz nighters and pokie-slammers backed The Bog (sadly no mention of chips), while those wooed by Woof! pointed to its famously inclusive kaupapa and deliciously strong cocktails: “Woof has something for everyone.” Another student commented: “Woof is the only bar that feels queer friendly in Dunedin.” Also, while The Bog apparently has an “insane” chicken parmy, they don't make cocktails.
Jess from Planet Media’s take was that she liked the idea that she could rock up to The Bog in her pyjamas, while Woof!’s artsier vibe put pressure on her wardrobe. Given Jess has been known to gallivant around campus in a cute combo of navy blue corduroys, Static Age Vintage embroidered vest and newsboy cap, Critic reckons she has nothing to worry about.
The difference for many hung on the technicality of Woof! being more of a bar compared to The Bog, an Irish pub. One commenter put it well: “Bar? Woof. Pub? Bog. Broke? Pint night.” As the comment battle waged, The Bog began to pull ahead, gaining a 30 vote lead on Woof!. It was the beginning of a tidal wave of support for the pub. “I love woof, but the bog is closer, has more of a student community + quizzes,” said one student. Another commented: “You probably wouldn’t be able to afford rent after going to Woof, and I feel like it’s a prerequisite to go to a climbing gym beforehand.” Other voices of support said “guiness is king,” “live laugh love the Irish” and “Woof is hot but the bog is cheap. Cozzie living crisis made the decision for me.”
And with that, we had our winner for the 2024 annual Critic bar review. Congratulations to The Bog for knocking the reigning champ off its pedestal, proving that the pot of gold that sits at the end of the rainbow truly is splitting the G at a Monday quiz night. Third and fourth went to The Baaa and Emerson’s respectively with a tight 52:48 vote split in the B finals.