If your Instagram feed is full of Lulu-clad twenty-somethings dashing around Dunedin’s streets at the crack of fucking dawn, you’re not the only one. Run clubs are cropping up everywhere. Hailed by loyalists as an energising route to meeting others in the running community, there are now at least six of these groups in Ōtepoti (we keep finding more) to choose from, each with their own distinct vibe.
Here at Critic Te Ārohi, we love love. And word on the street is that joining a club can get your heart racing in more ways than one. Rumour is, the singles ready to mingle are ditching dating apps and turning to run clubs to find a connection that goes the distance. Two eligible reporters set their alarms heinously early, downloaded Strava, and hit four Dunedin run clubs to find out if they really are the ‘new Tinder’. Talk about a fast-paced work environment.
03 Run Club
The 03 Run Club is your yo-pro dreams come to life, run by New Zealand distance runner Oli. Earlier this year after returning from London, the run club Mecca, he went forth like a modern missionary to begin his own Ōtepoti-based run club. Oli’s also exactly the person you would expect to start a run club. Even at 5:50am, he’s practically bouncing on the spot, sporting a smile and welcoming all the newcomers (us).
The group of about a dozen gathered under the St Clair Esplanade street lamps, more or less grouped in pairs like ourselves. We spotted a pair of Hoka trainers in the mix, the elite shoe (or so we’ve been told). There’s a core group at the 03 of Oli and his friends, who we overheard mention running a 3:00/km pace in the upcoming Dunedin marathon – about 16km/hr. We exchanged nervous glances.
Then we were off. The ‘shake out’ run would take us 15 minutes towards St Kilda and back. Much like an intermediate school disco, the group quickly separated into two camps: the handful of trotting men, followed by the pack of girls we somehow ended up leading. You could call it ‘setting the pace’. In reality, it felt more like a game of Temple Run. Panic set in: we’re being run down.
Needless to say, any notion of rizzing up a man was dashed as they raced off into the distance. If you wanna strike up a chat, you’d have to catch them first, giving a whole new meaning to ‘chasing love’. One girl boldly made her move, channelling Blake Lively in Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants as she ran to match pace with the boys.
The atmosphere was social; not that we indulged. Locked into survival mode, not a word was exchanged. We tuned instead into the chatter of assorted accents around us like a live podcast. Yes girl, tell us your secrets! Hearing about one girl’s ‘assault bike training’, however, only intensified the feeling of inadequacy.
Oli’s pacing back and forth along the group like a sheep dog kept us motivated – and accountable – until the end. Any temptation to ditch the group under the cover of darkness and hide in the dunes was squashed. As we arrived at Starfish Café for a post-run coffee treat (now decidedly red in the face and at the back of the pack) the sky was turning pink with the sunrise. The endorphins hit: one down, three to go.
Run: 15 minutes out and back (about 5km)
When & Where: 6am from St Clair Starfish Café
Crowd: Recent grads and London marathoners
Yap Topic: Finding friends post-uni and whatever the fuck an assault bike is
Park run
If you prioritise financial security then you might find yourself a 50+ baddie at the weekly Botanical Gardens Park Run (no judgement here). You’re also just as likely to get passed by five-year-olds in Spiderman hoodies and a duck or two. All levels of ability are welcome, so you can do a Kath and Kim and power walk or else speed it to the finish line. It’s a true mixed bag.
We were impressed by the turnout and organisation. Park run is a global charity organisation who run (get it) weekly community events across the world. Each Saturday, the Dunedin community of joggers gather at the duck pond for what we’ve been told is the hilliest of park runs in the country.
It was a picturesque misty morning. In the first loop of the lower level of the Botans we sailed past rose bushes and rhododendrons, waving “hi” to one of our old lecturers as we cruised past. If you’re someone who needs a little encouragement, lovely volunteers will cheer you on and tell you, “You’re doing amazing sweetie.” (Sobs). Also, the Botanical Gardens make for much forest bathing, chakra aligning wellness.
And then we hit the hills, a particular lowlight for Jodie. Used to running on the flat, one hill lowkey fucked us. Stars were seen. Spews were almost had. Nina once titled an editorial ‘touch grass’ which Jodie almost took very seriously – with her face. That being said, get back to nature! Why retch over your nasty toilet on a Saturday morning when you can retch while overlooking picnic-ing families? Call it detoxifying.
If you need motivation, look no further than the oldies’ calves in front of you. There are some really tank super gold card members out there for real. As Jodie’s headspins subsided and we resumed at a recovery trot, we did make one friend in the form of a pensioner who barked “work harder girls” as he passed. It could have been motivating if not for the fact that he repeated this multiple times over the duration of the run (was he lapping us?).
Overall, Park Run is great for self-esteem. There are so many people with different abilities that it's unlikely you’ll ever be last. And if you are, someone's mum will be there waiting at the finish line to cheer you on! Unlike other run clubs, however, there aren't any organised social events afterwards. The group’s simply too large. Many people headed into Croc-o-dile Café for a coffee and a cheese roll afterwards in their respective groups. Personally, we indulged in a mid-morning gossip over oat milk lattes.
Run: 5km loop (warning: includes hills)
When and where: 9am Saturdays in the Botans
Crowd: Everyone and their dog
Yap: Something mundane and censored, like the taxonomy of flowers (there are so many children around)
445
You’ve probably wondered whether we were brave enough to try 445, the god tier of run clubs. The short answer? No. No we did not. Nina had put up her hand to brave the witching hour run that, like its name suggests, kicks off at 4:45am every Friday morning from Buster Greens. But setting her alarm, she sent a message to Jodie saying, “Fuck that,” and joined for the much more reasonable 6:30am Femmi run instead. Sometimes you just have to put yourself first.
The 445 loyalists are a cult in themselves, however, and will chew your ear off about how great it is. Everyone we spoke to at other clubs were equally as intimidated, and word on the street is that there’s one member so dedicated he drives in from Milton each week. Chances are that when many students are hitting the hay after a Thursday night gig, he’s getting ready for his hour commute. If you’re looking for a club that’ll leave you with a cultish gleam in your eyes, 445 is the way to go.
Run: 20 minutes out and back
When & Where: 4:45am from Buster Greens
Crowd: Fitspo Lululemon-clad students and that one guy from Milton
Yap: Gratitudes and protein powder, we’re guessing
Femmi
Femmi is for the girls. At this point, we’d ditched the entire romantic premise of the article and were out here making pals. Against the backdrop of the full moon set in a purple sky, the group of about a dozen girls who met outside Fluid Espresso were immediately welcoming. Within seconds of getting out of our cars and huddling in a shivering circle, we’d been introduced to the mix of regulars and newcomers.
Femmi is an Australian-based company offering a whole range of resources from training plans to daily affirmations to wāhine who love to run. Accounts by members have Femmi as the first social-run club to hit Ōtepoti. After everyone signed into the Femmi register, we headed for the Harbour at a steady pace. Nothing like smelling the delicate mix of boatyard mud and sulphur (eau de egg) in the air to welcome the new day. Having learned our lesson, we jogged firmly near the back, but without feeling too worried about going faster. The vibes were relaxed.
At the 2.5km mark, a moment was taken to appreciate the sunrise, say “hi” to a passing border collie, and snap a sunrise-glow pic for the ‘gram. We were joined on the home stretch by one friendly runner pal who was taking it slow “because she’d done a couple of marathons lately”, which we pointed out to her was no small feat. She also told us that some local runners (including herself) will go to multiple run clubs a week. Shockingly, we realised that what felt like extreme gonzo journalism for us was some baddies’ bread and butter.
We lived the Barbie movie dream at Fluid afterward, gossiping with the girls and laughing about hypothetical Strava pick-up lines if you were to slide into the DMs of a run club heartthrob. We agreed that it was difficult to come up with a running-inspired line that didn’t come across as creepy. As we chatted, Nina sipped on a $9 strawberry matcha treat with bubblegum pink glittery “unicorn shit” which had Miss Critic herself swinging her legs in delight. Top that off with a quick tarot card reading and you’ve got yourself a beautifully femme morning. Femmi, we will be back.
Run: 5km loop (about 30 minutes)
When & Where: 6:30am from Fluid Espresso
Crowd: The girlies
Yap: Period tracking, Strava pick-up lines, and a love of mochas
That Happy Habit
That Happy Habit is perhaps the most wholesome run club we could have stumbled across. It was founded by Meg, who made the club after her “slow running” TikToks attracted a community of similarly chill-paced runners. Meg wanted to create a space for all runners to feel comfortable at whatever level they are at.
That Happy Habit’s usual run is on Wednesday afternoons, but we joined them for a one-off Saturday morning event in collaboration with Catalyst. Meg greeted everyone at the door at 8am sharp with an energy so warm we immediately felt at ease. As a school teacher and mum-to-be, Meg gives off the aura that you are in the absolute safest of hands. This was reinforced when, for the first time in our run club journey, we began with a group warm-up.
The planned route went 2.5km and back from Catalyst, past the Railway Station and down the Harbour – giving safety in numbers a new meaning as we crossed rush hour traffic in a mob of roughly thirty. Jodie was caught cat-calling (or canine calling, if you will) a dog with its head out the window of a car, revealing where her priorities were: “Hey pretty boy, you looking at me?” This was potentially the most flirty we’d been this entire article.
Call us the yappathon 3000 because, by this point, we had mastered chatting while running. It made the run feel like it went so fast! We were even able to introduce ourselves and small talk with new people on the track. Although, it’s hard to tell how many people can hear you when you're caught up in the Run Yap, and Jodie talking about her visit to the gynaecologist got a few raised eyebrows.
Back at the café, there were subsidised coffees and free bowls of granola waiting for us. Regretting her previous night’s Woof cocktails and slightly nauseous at this point, Nina happily let Jodie do the talking for this one. People were super friendly and hailed Meg’s kaupapa of creating an inclusive environment for all levels of runners. While it sadly would be the last event of its kind as Meg approaches her pregnancy due date, we agreed it was a great way to spend the morning.
Run: Either 3km or 5km at an easy pace
When & where: Typically 6pm Wednesdays (join the Facebook group for details)
Crowd: Social runners
Yap: Cute dogs and traffic safety tips <3
As far as run clubs in Ōtepoti go, we know this has only scraped the surface. We weren’t able to get to all of them – our legs would not allow it. Still, we finished the week with our Strava telling us to slow the fuck down. Not to mention feeling pretty damn accomplished. In the space of just over a week, we pushed through the second Semester burnout with forced healthy habits, mastered the run yap, and made some new friends along the way. Though run clubs got out hearts racing, it wasn’t how we initially expected. Romantic love was not found. If anything, run clubs are Tinder for friends, which is honestly far more wholesome. We’ve certainly heard of love on the track but, like anything in life – and exactly what you’re sick of your grandma saying at Christmas – you just have to enjoy the ride (run). After all, it’s a marathon not a sprint.