Archive

How to Find a Boyfriend in Club Penguin

Posted 3:28pm Tuesday 14th April 2020 by Caroline Moratti

With Club Penguin back up and running (praise be), I thought I would use this bountiful opportunity to get something I’ve only ever dreamed about: a boyfriend.  The new CP is slightly different: there’s ads on the loading page for one matter and everyone is a member. The class Read more...

A Definitive Ranking of the Uni Clocktower Bongs

Posted 3:38pm Tuesday 7th April 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Everytime I sit in my room, the clocktower’s flat chimes remind me that my time in this world is fleeting. Every bong that rattles through my window slowly drives me insane.  Because I have nothing else to do, and to help you all feel a little bit closer to campus, I have categorised Read more...

A Tale of Two Servers: UniCol and Locals

Posted 8:48pm Thursday 2nd April 2020 by Wyatt Ryder

Good and evil. Light and dark. Yin and yang. Mine and craft.  There are few things in life more wondrous than the joy of sharing a beautiful blocky world with your friends. All the epic gamers who haven’t got the new Animal Crossing are spending their lockdown on Minecraft. This Read more...

Essential Dealing: How Unlicensed Pharmacists Ensure a Clean Supply

Posted 8:23pm Wednesday 1st April 2020 by Sinead Gill

If there is ever a time for weed to be legal, it is during a pandemic. Personally, my anxiety has been at an all time high, though I am slowly learning to be kinder to myself for not being as productive as usual. Sometimes, the only way I can sleep is with a cheeky bit of the dev’s Read more...

Art Hoe Training

Posted 3:25pm Sunday 29th March 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

Famous museums all around the world are offering virtual tours of their exhibits to help pass the endless void of time during this quarantine period. That’s right, VR isn’t just for porn. Now’s your chance to one up that flatmate that went to Europe once and never shuts up about Read more...

The Ultimate Guide to Starting a Flat Orgy

Posted 8:31pm Friday 27th March 2020 by Naomii Seah

Step one Start off nice and slow. You don’t want to spook anyone. Complain very loudly about the fact that you’re not having sex while in isolation during flat dinner, or whenever you’re all congregated together. Step two A few days later, suggest that you all watch porn Read more...

How to Party 2 Meters Apart

Posted 4:44pm Tuesday 24th March 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

It’s that sick season and we shouldn’t be out here playing games with any virus, period. But. Dunedin has a party reputation that needs to be upheld for the sake of media articles all over New Zealand, so that our grandparents can post them on our Facebook page saying "Kyle Read more...

How to Take Feet Pics

Posted 8:42pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Critic

For those of you whose casual employment is drying up and who are thinking about ways to make money from home by selling pictures of your feet, Critic has you covered.   The feet: Literally any feet will do. The more natural, the better - leave those beautiful little toe hairs alone. Read more...

Students “In Limbo” Waiting for Covid-19 to Hit Campus

Posted 7:33pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Sinead Gill

Otago students are “scared”, “concerned”, and “feel as if [their] whole lives are about to come toa stand-stil” over the recent Covid-19 outbreak. Last Tuesday, students came together to celebrate St Patrick’s day in what many considered the final send Read more...

What to Do in Self-Isolation

Posted 6:35pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

Everyone is freaking out about Coronavirus at the moment, buying mass amounts of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, just in case. The fear of the unknown has taken us over. What if it hits Dunedin? What if you get it? What if everything gets shut down and you don’t have enough supplies to last Read more...