What to Do in Self-Isolation

What to Do in Self-Isolation

Everyone is freaking out about Coronavirus at the moment, buying mass amounts of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, just in case. The fear of the unknown has taken us over. What if it hits Dunedin? What if you get it? What if everything gets shut down and you don’t have enough supplies to last you for whoever knows how long? The big buzzword going along with this is self-isolation. People who are sick or have just arrived in NZ from countries with COVID-19 are being told to self-isolate for two weeks. This involves staying away from areas where you are exposed to other people, like uni or work, and minimise amounts of human interaction. In a way that kind of sounds like a luxury, staying at home and just vibing out. But it’s pretty easy to get a bit stir-crazy while doing so.

As luck would have it, the Coronavirus hysteria has peaked right as Fresher Flu season has started. I have fallen victim to the latter. In an effort to try and not get anyone else sick with this stupid cold, I’ve been self-isolating. I’m already so fucking bored. It’s hard to try and come up with things to do when you’re cooped up in your shitty student flat all day and night.

Disclaimer: Covid-19 self-isolation doesn’t always mean you literally can’t leave your flat. If you have only come in contact with someone from overseas, not you yourself coming from overseas, then you can go for a walk and stuff so long as you keep your distance.

Tidy your fucking room

C’mon, you’ve been putting this off since you first moved in. I know you still have at least one box or bag that remains to be unpacked, so now is your time to do it. You’ve been using the excuse of having lectures all day to avoid doing your washing, but now you literally have no excuse. See those dishes sitting in your room? Wash them, you piece of shit. Get out some of those anti-bacterial wipes that your flat bought in O-Week and clean your skirting boards. Think of the luxury of being able to self-isolate with fresh sheets on your bed. You’ve got nothing else better to do, so just suck it up and vacuum your goddamn room.

Do your readings

You know how you bought that textbook, or how Blackboard is full of those PDFs for you to download? Well, now is your chance to actually sit down and read them. You can’t go to uni anyway, or head to your mates to fuck around, so you might as well use this time to catch up. I know, it sounds boring as hell and the last thing you’d want to do, but thank yourself later. Fuck it, why not even start that assignment that’s due in two weeks? Just because you’re sick doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get that paper. Make your readings interesting by doing them while feeling whacked out on the various cold and flu tablets you take. Open your third eye while you read about Donoghue v Stevenson.

Go on Omegle

Self-isolation gets pretty lonely after a while. I mean, you can’t really talk to anyone but your flatmates, and by now you’re probably sick of them. But what if there was a website where you can meet and talk to new people without that physical human interaction? You probably haven’t been on Omegle since that sleepover you had when you were 16, and I’m sure there are just as many penises now as there were then. Regardless, you can use specific keywords to connect with people with similar interests - chuck ‘coronavirus’ in there and make a friend with someone else self-isolating. If even that fills your screen with chodes, make it into a fun game and count how many you can see. Who knows, you might even just find the love of your life on there, all from the comfort of your own bed.

Create your own small start-up business.

The stock market is in complete disarray at the moment, but don’t let that stop you. YouTube has videos about anything, including how to start your own business. Make the most of this free time and get those creative juices flowing. You and your mates probably have that one idea for a business that you came up with whilst cooked, so make that dream into a reality. Be your own boss in your early 20s, dip into that Kiwi Saver and use those years of half paying attention in a commerce lecture to good use. Stop being a slave to the man and follow your dreams. Invest, invest, invest.

Over-analyse everything that has ever happened in your life up until this point

If you are actually sick while in self-isolation, your sleep is probably fucked up from coughing, and stuff. Just stay awake. Use this time to reflect on everything you have ever done in excruciating detail. Remember that time you were a total dick in front of your crush and ruined your chances of being together? Marinade in that moment. That time you said “you too” after a waiter said “enjoy your meal”? Replay that situation in your head in full vivid detail over and over again. Forget all those mindfulness apps and meditation and use this time to overthink your whole existence as a human being while listening to some Frank Ocean. Who cares what the future holds. Put your energy into focusing on your past and every cringey or embarrassing detail. It’s so healthy, trust me.

This article first appeared in Issue 5, 2020.
Posted 6:35pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Henessey Griffiths.