Archive

New Zealand Lager Is the Most Influential Beer in This Nation’s History

Posted 10:47pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

New Zealand Lager is a triumph. Brewing in this country has a long and rocky history, with a lot of bad beers and a lot of good beers. But none has been greater than this delectable drop. Fun Fact: the country ‘New Zealand’ actually derives its name from New Zealand Lager, because it is Read more...

The Week the ODT Tried to Make Old People Feel Better About Dying

Posted 8:27pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

Welcome to the last ODT Watch of the year. To start this week, apparently a local fish and chip shop has been amassing weapons of mass destruction.       Tsk. You can never tell with some culinary establishments. One day they’re saying they love you and the next Read more...

All The Time We Scooped the ODT This Year

Posted 6:51pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

Critic: 26 February – Re:Fuel Rebrands as Ubar ODT: 28 March - Business as usual for University Bar    Critic: 5 March – University Cracks Down on Initiations ODT: 7 March – Students Excluded Over Urine and Booze-soaked Initiation   Critic: 5 March Read more...

Lunchtime Quickie

Posted 6:32pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by The Scarfie Chef

Buckle in, because this is a gamechanger. I’m about to teach you how to make food that looks like store-bought mini-savouries but way, way cheaper for your broke ass.  This recipe can be changed depending on what you have on hand, the only ingredients you absolutely need are eggs and Read more...

Love is Blind | JFK and Marilyn

Posted 4:37pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Ombrellos and Cello. That's it for the year! If you want to give the Critic Blind Date a shot, we'll be accepting applications again from February 2019.     JFK I Read more...

Dear Aunt Zo and Uncle Jim, what are the top ten pieces of advice, in the whole world?

Posted 3:03pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis

Ranked, in order: Always make sure a glass of wine is available Drive a large vehicle and then you can see more Fun and failure start the same way Advice is much harder to make up if you don’t have it pre-prepared The best way to keep your clothes white is by using warm wash, Read more...

The Week We Were Too Busy to Read the ODT

Posted 12:10am Friday 28th September 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week ODT is a little bit different. In celebration of our ODT issue, and because we were too busy gossiping about OUSA to actually read the newspaper, ODT Watch presents our favourite excerpts from the last two years.   To start there was that time that the ODT forgot what the word Read more...

Mr Sandler, Bring Me a Dream: Click

Posted 5:41pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

I’m not gonna lie, I’m getting a bit emotional. This is my last Adam Sandler review for the year, and what a journey we have been on. After 18 films, a discourse analysis on brand identity, and one terrible comedy album, I still question why I set myself up to do this.  I Read more...

White Rhino is the Best New Drink of 2018

Posted 5:38pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

White Rhino, just like white people, is absolutely all over North Dunedin these days.  These tins, with the simplest graphic design imaginable, and an even simpler recipe, have taken the student quarter by storm. Nothing has got the people of North D this enraptured since, well, last week Read more...

Dear Aunt Kell and Mumma Zo, How Do You Make Bad Food Good Food?

Posted 5:37pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis-Haymes and Kelly Davenport

Tihei mauri ora, Bad food is food that you’ve left in the fridge after you cooked up an extravagant meal three months ago using useless ingredients like crème fraîche that you’ve only used a tablespoon of, which you haven’t touched since.  Bad food is food Read more...

LET’S GET SOME FUCKIN FRENCH TOAST

Posted 5:17pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by The Scarfie Chef

French toast is the goods as a breakfast/lunch/snack/dinner/sex accessory, and let’s be honest – if you fry something in butter then drown it in maple syrup, then a) you’re probably American, and b) it’s gonna taste meeeean. Here’s a way to do French toast that is Read more...

Love is Blind | Jeff Goldblum and Ellie Sattler

Posted 5:14pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Ombrellos and Cello. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz     Jeff Goldblum With great penis comes great Read more...

The Week the ODT’s Opinion Section Really Outdid Itself

Posted 8:23pm Thursday 20th September 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week, the ODT are reporting on a truly marvellous occurrence.      Because of their bad behaviour, Santa normally just skips Balclutha, Milton, and Gore, stops briefly in Invercargill to give Tim Shadbolt his present, and then goes on to Stewart Island, Read more...

Mr Sandler, Bring Me a Dream | Grown Ups 2

Posted 6:44pm Thursday 20th September 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

We’re coming to the end of our time here reviewing Adam Sandler films, so I decided to save the best few till last. I’ve had a lot of requests for this particular film, as it is often noted to be one of the peaks of Sandler’s filmography. This film is 104 minutes of pure bliss. Read more...

Honey Badger Southern State Moonshine Is Genuinely Going To Kill Someone

Posted 6:40pm Thursday 20th September 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Honey Badger Southern State Moonshine is genuinely going to kill someone. I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but someone’s gonna fucking die. It’s absurdly cheap, at $8.99 for a bottle with 6.9 standards – pretty much as good as you can get in the world of Read more...

Love is Blind | Campus and Watch

Posted 6:38pm Thursday 20th September 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Ombrellos and Cello. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz     Campus The bartender told me that if I fucked this up he Read more...

Dear Mumma Zo and Aunt Kell, How Do I Stop Procrastinating?

Posted 6:31pm Thursday 20th September 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis-Haymes and Kelly Davenport

Procrastination is spending time doing what you’d rather be doing. To make your procrastination more efficient, ensure you properly plan your procrastination (this is called procrasti-planning).  Procrastination is inevitable so why not make it healthy? E.g. Procrasta-run, or if you Read more...

The Week the ODT Yet Again Chose to Give a Racist a Platform

Posted 4:03pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

If you’ve ever wondered how we manage to write ODT Watch, let the ODT itself explain,     This week the ODT have tightened up on giving absolutely any clues as to an article’s contents in the headline.     [insert joke here; I’ve given Read more...

How to Make the Strongest Edibles Possible

Posted 1:59pm Friday 14th September 2018 by The Scarfie Chef

Before actually making edibles, you have to decarboxylate, or ‘activate’ your weed by heating it; this transforms the non-psychoactive THC-A into psychoactive THC. When activating your weed you’ve got to be careful to heat it up enough so it properly activates, but also be careful Read more...

Mr Sandler, Bring Me a Dream | Bedtime Stories

Posted 1:57pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

Adam Sandler every week makes Henessey a very angry girl.  Adam Sandler every week makes Henessey a very angry girl.  Adam Sandler every week makes Henessey a very angry girl.  Adam Sandler every week makes Henessey a very angry girl.  Adam Sandler every week makes Read more...