Archive

Scarfie Chronicles | Issue 13

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Josie Adams

The past week has seen some pretty freaky business go down, and for once, we’re not talking sexually. Cumberland College has fallen prey to the Grey Lady, the ghost of an unfit mother, and the first years aren’t handling it so well. Some have tried to communicate with the spirit of Rowena Ravenclaw Read more...

Swillable | Issue 13

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Pilbo Swaggins

This week I thought I’d review an interesting little cocktail that I came across via a Peruvian accquaintance of a friend’s sister. The Pisco Sour is the most popular way of consuming Pisco, a Peruvian spirit produced through the distillation of fermented grapes. Its conception was the result of Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 13

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by La Dida

If anyone has followed this column you will realise that it has been a rough time in my family of birth A family member has been very unwell, and I have become their primary carer. Throughout this time I have been thinking a lot about family, what it means to me – and what queer/trans folks have Read more...

Classic Film | Issue 13

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Toby Newberry

Directors: John Carpenter, Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. A husky dog runs full tilt across an Antarctic plain. Two Norwegians take shots at it with a rifle from a helicopter. As the dog nears a small American research base, as the Norwegians become more desperate. They drop explosives, to no Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 13

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Lovebirds

Critic’s blind date column has been running for a while now. We’ve all got some good laughs out of it, and at least a few people have scored themselves a night of romance. But here at Critic we feel that it’s time that we stepped it up a notch. The date is now at Little India to add a little more Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 13

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Staff Reporter

I assume that when most of you walk round uni you appraise your peers at least vaguely holistically – “That chick has a great rack!”, “God I hope those errant lip hairs are for movember and not a perennial thing”, “Shit he smells eerily similar to Kapiti Kikorangi Blue!” – that kind of thing. Me? I Read more...

The Tory Templar | Issue 13

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by The Tory Templar

Rule Britannia may be consigned to the Youtube clips of sixth form history, but Britain’s presence still looms large over this country. With Queen Elizabeth celebrating her diamond jubilee and the Queen’s Birthday holiday around the corner, the question will undoubtedly arise: “Should we be a Read more...

Red and Starry Eyed | Issue 13

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Red and Starry Eyed

Queen’s Birthday Weekend is arriving soon, although we students may not get to enjoy our expensive holiday. Why do we celebrate it anyhow? Red and Starry Eyed gets no holiday when it’s his birthday. Who is this old dinosaur the Queen? I have certainly never met her, so it boggles my mind that we Read more...

Editorial | Issue 13

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Joe Stockman

In 1913 Henry Ford had a problem with his new Model T. There simply weren’t enough people who could afford to buy it. He also had issues with worker attrition. Overworked and underpaid staff would quit, or simply fail to turn up. What Ford did revolutionised industry in the US. He doubled the wage Read more...

Te Roopu Māori | Issue 12

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Lisa Pohatu

Working away in my office at Te Roopū Māori whare you hear a lot of things. Mondays are usually interesting hearing about the events of the weekend; but of late so are Thursday mornings due to the new “reality” TV show The GC. For those that don’t know, it’s a show that follows a Read more...

How To: Be a Muso

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Staff Reporter

Breaking into the music scene is a huge challenge, especially in a country as small as NZ. You need the right sound, the right look, good timing, and that certain something that sets you apart from the crowd. But fear not aspiring musicians! Critic has put together an easy guide on how to be a muso Read more...

Objection Overruled | Issue 12

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by

Copyright exists by virtue of someone having authored or created a work. It exists in literary, dramatic, musical or artistic works, sound recordings, films, communication works and typographical arrangements of published editions. Copyright attaches automatically to all original works. You Read more...

Proctology | Issue 12

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Callum Fredric

This week in Wacky Student Antics™, two young gentlemen decided to climb one of the 30-metre lighting towers by the railway station, presumably to gain a panoramic view of the picturesque landscape of car repair shops and courier depots. Police arrived to negotiate their return to ground level, Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 12

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by La Dida

So Obama has outed himself as a supporter of marriage equality. I am not really queuing up to shake his hand for this. Really, that should have been a given, if there was to be any consistency with the rest of his message. I have written previously that gay marriage is not my priority – it Read more...

Classic Film | Issue 12

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Kathleen Hanna

Director: Terrence Malick I do not write this piece as a Terrence Malick fan. In fact I find his films insufferably pretentious: The “profound” voiceovers delivered invariably by a murmur, a child, or a murmuring child; the randomly-interspersed Beautiful Shots Of Nature (which for all we Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 12

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Isaac McFarlane

How do you write a diatribe on music? A rant. An angry opinion. Complaints. How can you passionately be upset about anyone’s opinions on a subject that is entirely subjective, a subject that is all opinion? Upset or angry are words that should not crop up in music discussions. It’s like Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 12

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Lovebirds

Critic’s blind date column has been running for a while now. We’ve all got some good laughs out of it, and at least a few people have scored themselves a night of romance. But here at Critic we feel that it’s time that we stepped it up a notch. The date is now at Little India to add a little more Read more...

The Tory Templar | Issue 12

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by The Tory Templar

Whilst the world worries about whether the Eurozone will last the month, and the rest of New Zealand worries whether our women are truly the sluts that Colin Craig claims they are, we here in Dunedin are rather preoccupied with a certain fiberglass-like structure. Yes, the stadium, built as the Read more...

Red and Starry Eyed | Issue 12

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Red and Starry Eyed

Dunedin’s stadium, far from being “world-class”, may be overshadowed by a stadium in Christchurch that will also be covered. Shame. It seems future Dunedinites will look at Forsyth Barr from afar and see it as a relic of a council that did not listen to its voters, and spent well out of its budget, Read more...

Editorial | Issue 12

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Joe Stockman

As you can (maybe) tell from the photo, I finally graduated on Saturday. It was a long and at times hard road, and it is pretty satisfying to be done. And while the actual graduation ceremony can drag a bit, the expensive alcohol and gourmet food afterwards made it all worthwhile. Graduating Read more...

Every Day I’m chapil’n | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Mike Wright

What do you notice? What do you notice as hold this copy of Critic in your hands; as you start to read this column? Take a minute to look around. Who or what do you see; the colours, the light and shadows? Listen. What do you hear; close by and further off? What smells do you notice? And what do you Read more...

Scarfie Chronicles | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Josie Adams

This week in scarfie shenanigans: increased nudity! As the days grow colder, one man seemed to feel the need to fight his developing winter blubber: He was spotted running naked up the Dundas hill one crisp Friday evening. The current theory as to why is eyebrows. Witnesses reported that he seemed Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Staff Reporter

Every week a small group gathers on the Otago Union Lawn to openly smoke cannabis as a group. Many people can’t understand why we do this. Some people support us, but think we are crazy for putting our necks on the line and risking arrest. Others just think we are degenerate criminals. Either way, Read more...

Swillable | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Pilbo Swaggins

Taste: 8/10 Price: 12 for $20 (on special) Percentage: 5% As winter creeps in the ease with which a cold beer can be consumed increases noticeably. With many Scarfie flats dipping below the temperature of the fridges in them it becomes convenient to just leave the box in the lounge, not Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by La Dida

My friend Sam had this awesome idea last year. Instead of buying decorations for his Christmas tree, he and his partner decided to make sparklies of their own. Rather than plastic angels and itchy tinsel, Sam created special queer/trans Christmas decorations. His Christmas tree kind of became a Read more...

Classic Film | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Theo Kay

Director: Mary Harron American Psycho tracks the life of Patrick Bateman. He is 27 years old, has a group of work-hard-play-hard Wall Street friends, a fiancée (Reese Witherspoon) and listens to Huey Lewis and the News. He has a meticulous morning regiment of facial scrubs. But like the herb Read more...

Geekology | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Robbie Masters

If there’s one foodstuff that everyone should be required to consume at least once in their life, it’s guaranteed to be chilli peppers. Maybe a cayenne pepper or perhaps a habanero? If you’re particularly brave, you could opt for the one of the world’s hottest chilli peppers, the Naga viper or the Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Lovebirds

Critic’s blind date column has been running for a while now. We’ve all got some good laughs out of it, and at least a few people have scored themselves a night of romance. But here at Critic we feel that it’s time that we stepped it up a notch. The date is now at Little India to add a little more Read more...

The Tory Templar | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by The Tory Templar

The ACT Party may be tying its own noose but it will still be able to get its pet project passed into law. Charter schools are a pretty simple concept. They receive the same per-child government funding as state schools but have the freedom to set their own curriculum and qualifications, teacher Read more...

Red and Starry Eyed | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Red and Starry Eyed

Despite the ACT Party receiving almost no support in the last elections, it got an MP and four portfolios paid for by a cup of tea. The famous tea tapes that Key didn’t want to talk about are now online under “Two Johns one cup”. Listen to them; the two politicians show utter contempt for their own Read more...

Editorial | Issue 11

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Joe Stockman

As you may have been able to tell from the cover, we’re having a look at drugs this week. Just as I am not allowed to print anything in Critic about people peeing on each other for sexual pleasure, I’m also not allowed to say anything that might incite or promote drug taking. So I won’t. But I can Read more...

Te Roopu Māori | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Lisa Pohatu

Kia Ora whānau, It’s that time of the year already … Graduations, for a few of us older tauira it is the chance to catch up with old friends who are in the workforce and to reminisce about the good times and memories we all shared. For others, this will be your first time to experience Read more...

Uncle Howie | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Uncle Howie

Dear Uncle Howie, I can’t believe I’m writing in, but I need your advice/knowledge/wisdom and after reading your column I think you’re the go-to person on such a topic. I recent acquired a Fuck Buddy who is dynamite in the sack but my complete opposite and he enjoys talking for at Read more...

Objection Overruled | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by

Drink driving. As with drugs and casual sex, many students have dabbled. Whether it is a morning-after stint or a blatant act of driving obliterated, drink driving is rife in New Zealand. This is particularly so in the Southern Region, where 16-24 year olds are over-represented compared with the Read more...

Classic Film | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

Director: Richard Linklater Richard Linklater’s Slacker is considered one of the defining points of 20th century American independent cinema. It signalled the dawn of a new era for independent directors, proving that one does not need expensive equipment or “stars” to successfully create a Read more...

Swillable | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Mr Squid

Müller-Thurgau Alcohol Content: 8% Price: $10 As any decent wine critic knows, the difference between a good wine and a bad wine is the quality of the grape. This week’s review covers a vino about as appealing as a lamb shank from the 2-4. It tastes like a yucky chardonnay. Read more...

Proctology | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Staff Reporter

It was belting down with rain when Critic went along to the Proctor’s office last Tuesday; we must have been the only people to ever want to stay in his office longer than absolutely necessary. Campus Watch have been on the lookout for a persistent peeping tom (what is it about guys named Read more...

No Fringe, No Indie | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Sasha Borissenko

This week’s style commentary will feature the satire created by political commentator Chris Trotter but with an Otago University twist. Without further ado, introducing the “Waitakere Jock”: The Waitakere jock tends to enjoy the odd pint while watching a good game of rugby with the lads. Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by La Dida

This week’s column is about Intersexions, a documentary that premiered in Auckland last week. The film is a collaboration between my dear friend Mani Mitchell and Mark Lahood. It shares the stories of a number of intersex folks across the world, interwoven with Mani’s story. Mani is a part of a Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by John Brinsley-Pirie

I don’t think everyone who opposes Crafar Farms is a racist. I do think they are wrong. I will be making a case for why we should allow sales of land to foreign owners and why that benefits us as a country. Turning first to an important principle, the right to own land itself. In NZ we think Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Lovebirds

Dunedin is renowned for many things, but its dating scene is not one of them. Getting boozed and pashing people on the dance floor is hardly anyone’s idea of romance, so Critic wants to sort you out. Every week we’re sending two loveless loners on a blind date to Tokyo Gardens (with a bottle of wine Read more...

The Tory Templar | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by The Tory Templar

The left has been crying foul over asset sales virtually from the moment the first syllable left John Key’s lips. Let’s clarify a few points from the beginning; a lot of people seem to not know much about this issue, yet are still up in arms. The government is looking to sell off up to, and no more Read more...

Red and Starry Eyed | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Red and Starry Eyed

Have you noticed John Key looking more tired by the minute? How about the recent National scandals: From ACC to paid parental leave? About time, though his party hasn’t dropped in recent polls. It is about time to brush the dust off the covers of one of the first scandals in this government’s second Read more...

Execrable

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

This is the first time I’ve been to an Executive meeting. I had no idea what was going to happen. They gave me an agenda. Stockman told me they tend to drag on a bit … First item was a report on Unigames. Turns out there wasn’t enough funding. Some athletes withdrew at the last minute and it Read more...

Editorial | Issue 10

Posted 12:51am Monday 7th May 2012 by Joe Stockman

Ol’ Uncle John and his bestie Steven Joyce have been making some changes to the student loan and student allowance system. The stupidest change they’ve come up with is to limit the student allowance to four years of study. Sure, some students who are onto their fifth year are fucking around, Read more...

Every day I’m chapil’n | Issue 9

Posted 4:56pm Sunday 29th April 2012 by Amy Armstrong

“Our piece of peace” My thoughts have been around peace this past week as we commemorate Anzac Day. In this time when we pause to remember all those who have sacrificed their lives and gone off to distant shores in the service of others, it is hard to think of a more selfless act. While war Read more...

How To: Get Yourself Off

Posted 4:56pm Sunday 29th April 2012 by Staff Reporter

You don’t have to have a partner in order to get off: Hours of pleasure are available at the end of your fingertips … literally. The desperate hours spent trawling the d-floor at Metro or Monkey can all be avoided if you simply take things in hand, and claim responsibility for your own good times. Read more...

LILF | Issue 9

Posted 4:56pm Sunday 29th April 2012 by Staff Reporter

“What’s in a name? That which we call ‘Dr Jonathan Marshall’ by any other name would smell as sweet.” Dr Marshall’s hunky, hunky man smell was as sweet as a clear day after rain. The heat from the limelight was never so strong as it was in a Dr Marshall class. Supporting the arts had never Read more...

Classic Film | Issue 9

Posted 4:56pm Sunday 29th April 2012 by Kathleen Hanna

Director: Martin Scorcese Released: 1993 The Age of Innocence hit me like no other film ever has. My heart was racing for the majority of its 138 minutes; after it finished I paced the room trying to calm down, shaking the tingles from my fingers. It’s the only film to ever make me, Mr Read more...

Swillable | Issue 9

Posted 4:56pm Sunday 29th April 2012 by Pilbo Swaggins

Taste: 4/10 Standards per vessel: 1.6 Price: $20 for 12 This week I decided to try out the new Cindy’s RTD variation to see what they were like. The scene was a Saturday night red card with a sit-down dinner consisting of 3 courses of alcohol and a court session jammed in the middle. A Read more...