The Ultimate Guide to Looking Sexy, Gorgeous and Totally Wig in your ID Photo

Posted 6:26pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by The Critic Te Arohi Fab Fashion Team

Ew. Honey, you are so un-fleek right now. How do you get into Unipol looking like that? No, don’t answer. Of course you don’t go to Unipol. Your ID photo is in shambles. Don’t fret, though — we’ll turn you from “naasss queen” into “yaaasss Read more...

“Our Marriage Was A Sham!”: BOMBSHELL interview reveals SHOCKING details of Bill and Bill’s messy divorce

Posted 5:24pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Elliot Weir

The Bills have divorced, Critic Te Arohi can reveal. When first contacted for comment, Bill insisted the divorce was amicable, but a later interview shows that the truth is far more complicated. We sat both ducks down for an exclusive tell-all interview. Shit hit the fan, and the truth finally came Read more...

University RAGE at Heavy Handed Government Policies, Polite Bureaucrat-Speak Mask Comes OFF to Reveal COMPLETE BREAKDOWN of Relationships at Education Coalface

Posted 5:02pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Alex Leckie-Zaharic

Last week Critic wrote about OUSA’s submission on the Government’s new policy around tertiary students, and the gist was that while they liked the vibe, they didn’t like the details. The Uni seem to agree, saying that the Code is “eminently sensible” but also has a lot Read more...

Yikes! Blood Donations Still Restricted for Trans Women and Gay Men

Posted 5:00pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Erin Gourley

The New Zealand Blood Service are "planning a review" of their approach to gay and transgender donors. A trans student at Otago, who was a frequent plasma donor before they transitioned, said that “it's just fucked at the moment.” Another student noted that the Read more...

A SORDID TALE OF SQUALOR: Landlord Binned Bottle Collection … Or Did He?

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Denzel Chung

A student had their bottle collection wrecked by a landlord who “did not believe they were still on the property at the time,” according to a Tenancy Tribunal ruling. Their landlord has hit back, saying “the Tribunal has got it half-right”.  Louis’ tenancy for Read more...

“I’ve changed,” Sobs Veggie Boy in Teary Tell All Interview

Posted 4:54pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Fox Meyer

The cheapest coffee in town will now cost more than a coin, as Veggie Boys raises its price by a dollar. A regular is now $3, and a large comes in at $4. The price increase comes during a change of management. Supreet, the new manager at Veggie Boys, told Radio One that the previous owners Read more...

Peace-loving Professor Pans Parliamentarian for Lukewarm Take on KILLER ROBOTS

Posted 4:51pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Adam Currie

Last Wednesday, Hon Phil Twyford gave a lecture on disarmament in Archway Two. It was mostly attended by politics nerds and mature students. Twyford is the Government's Minister of Disarmament and Arms Control.  Twyford spent most of the time talking about his work to stop “killer Read more...

National Coordinator of Thursdays in Black: SHOCK RESIGNATION

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Erin Gourley

The Coordinator of Thursdays in Black Aotearoa, Jahla Tran-Lawrence, has resigned. Thursdays in Black Aotearoa will have a by-election on 17 June to find a new leader. Thursdays in Black is a student-run campaign that aims to prevent and respond to sexual harm in universities and polytechs in Read more...

ECONOMIC LIPOFILLING: Landlords Rub Hands Together With Glee and Lick Lips Lasciviously at 2022 Riches as Jacinda and Grant Let Loose the MONEY PUMP

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Sean Gourley

Student allowances are set to increase by $25 in April 2022. Most students can be confident that this change will see a similar rise in rent across most of Dunedin.  The average increase in rent for next year appears to be between $10 and $20 per person, according to the students interviewed Read more...

Transphobic Leaflets Left by Losers SLAMMED by Literally Everyone Who Isn’t a Twisted Far Right LOONY

Posted 4:33pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Erin Gourley

Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus.  One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross Read more...