Archive

Crossword Answers - Issue 13 2026

Posted 12:25pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS: 1- Daniel Radcliffe 6 - Influencers 8 - KPH 10 - Karyon 11  - Enraged 13 - Topical 14 - Methodology 19 - Gossips 22 - Satchel 23 - Boundless 24 - Scold DOWN: 1 - Daniel Leamy 2 - Exhuming 3 - Desecration 4 - IRS 5 - Enthralled 7 - Naked 9  - Innit 12 - Read more...

Proctology - 31

Posted 12:24pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Critic Te Ārohi hasn’t met with Proctor Dave Scott in a while now, but he certainly hasn’t forgotten about us. With the recent snap in the weather, we were more than happy to go and pay him a visit to get out of the kind of cold that chills you to the bone.  Upon arrival, we Read more...

Emo Boy: A Night To Forget

Posted 12:05pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Chappell Moan

One fateful night in 2025, I had the worst sex of my life.  I was just beginning my third year of uni (my first one single), and had finally decided I was ready to get back out there. I’d been snapping this guy from Tinder for a few weeks, and was out in town when he messaged me asking Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 13 2026

Posted 12:02pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by The Orb

Capricorn You've been running on feet that are one step away from giving out from beneath you, and everyone’s concerned with the amount of caffeine you have been downing lately. Paired with your “I’ll sleep after my exams” attitude, you should be careful and sleep off Read more...

Editorial: DRAMA ALERT: Tabloid is back, baby!

Posted 12:00pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Welcome to the Tabloid Issue! This one is always the best. Tabloid lets us be silly, dramatic, nosy, and unserious in the way that student journalism is made for. My first exposure to the wonderful world of print magazines was through my Nana’s Women’s Weekly, Women's Day, and Read more...

Booze Review: Purple Goannas

Posted 11:37am Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Swig60

This week, we take you back in time to a prehistoric land. When reptiles ruled, Pint Night pints cost $5, and the first-year was fees free. You know something's been around forever when you get a nod of approval from some bloke's dad while carrying two boxes home. That’s Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 12 2026

Posted 11:55am Sunday 17th May 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS: 1 - Mortal Kombat 7 - Brass 10 - Moss 11 - Assembly Lines 12 - Fender 13 - Vision 14 - Overrun 15 - Advantage 20 - Sony 22 - Ulysses 23 - Overkill 24 - Luigi 28 - Basin 29 - Notated 31 - Aviator 32 - Container 33 - Bingo 34 - Candidate DOWN: 1 - Mummification 2 - Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 12 2026

Posted 11:46am Sunday 17th May 2026 by The Orb

Capricorn With exams around the corner, your anxiety has been running high. Although patronising to hear, try to take a minute and actually breathe. Pinky promise that it’ll be easy to remember the things you're trying to shove into your mushy brain if you’re a bit calmer. Your Read more...

Editorial: Dear Otago

Posted 11:09am Sunday 17th May 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Otago, as I write this, I sit in an airport. I’m miles away from you, and I can’t help but notice that the colours seem duller and the sky less open without you near. Laughter seems less genuine, and all I can think about is coming home to you. No matter how damp the soil, or how wet the Read more...

From the Pātaka - Issue 11

Posted 11:25am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Brady Simeon

You can tell what time of year it is by what people are carrying. Shoes in one hand, laptop in the other, everything else tucked in where it fits, moving from one place to the next without really stopping. Within TRM, the volleyball tournament has just passed, Te Huinga Tauira musters are underway, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Mummy's Boy

Posted 10:12am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Lady Pain Grey

It all started on a warm summer’s night in Australia. It was Hottest 100 day – a national treasure over the ditch. It was the last big effort before uni started up again, and celebration was well and truly in session. To the pub we went! With a solid foundation of day drinking laid, my Read more...

Letters: Issue 11 2026

Posted 10:09am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Critic

Dear Critic, I’m sorry but seriously what the fuck is wrong with people in central library this year?? Why are the suicide pods absolutely filthy like  how hard is it to clean up after yourself? And all the fucking freshers talking so loudly about hubs and physics it’s a library Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 11 2026

Posted 10:07am Sunday 10th May 2026 by The Orb

Gemini As a potent full moon takes its effect on you this week, you're going to feel drawn to address the hidden cravings you've been pushing to the back of your mind. Acknowledge these desires before the energy causes disruption in your life. Flatmate stereotype: The free spirit – Read more...

OUSA Exec: Fergus Parks

Posted 10:04am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Fergus Parks

How do you do, fellow youths? OUSA’s post-graduate representative (resident UNC) here, using up ink on a column you don't read. And you know what? Good on ya! Exercise that free will, read me or don't. You think I care? Well… maybe a little. Still, I’ll try to earn a Read more...

Editorial: It’s All In Your Head

Posted 10:01am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Hi everyone, Welcome to Issue 11. We literally have two issues left for the semester, which I think is genuinely insane. How time flies!  I’m pleased to say that this issue seems to have a bit of a theme, though it was completely unplanned. Our chunkiest piece is Jesse and Read more...

Booze Review: Fiji Dry

Posted 8:04pm Friday 8th May 2026 by Swig60

It’s monsoon season, so it’s time to get wet. Actually, never mind – this isn’t Moaningful Confessions, that's on the next page. This week, Swig60 set sail (not to that island) and somehow ended up stranded with a box of Fiji Dry and very few plans beyond “see what Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 10 2026

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 3rd May 2026 by The Orb

Pisces The world sometimes feels like it’s working against you. You apply for 100 jobs, and only get one interview – you’re scared it’s your destiny to be unemployed. A panic masters might be in your future. Surely the job market will have recovered by then. Go to study Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 10 2026

Posted 2:50pm Sunday 3rd May 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS: 1 - Karl Urban 4 - Ned Kelly 9 - Labyrinths 10 - Bitcoin 11 - Rockhopper 13 - Skim 14 - Elongation 17 - Arizona 19 - Doggo 21 - Margot Robbie 22 - USSR 24 - Obviously 25 - Ignition 27 - Versailles 28 - Mad Max 29 - Search Warrant 30 - Debt Down: 1 - Killer whale 2 - Read more...

Editorial: Stop Being Mean To The BSA

Posted 2:39pm Sunday 3rd May 2026 by Hanna Varrs

If it isn’t obvious, media is something near and dear to my heart. It’s my life blood – I enjoy the chaos of it and the role it plays in keeping others accountable. That’s why I was interested to hear that the Broadcasting Standards Authority (BSA) and its associated Read more...

From the Pātaka

Posted 1:33pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Brady Simeon

The semester has properly settled into its pace now. Calendars are filling, deadlines are approaching, and the whare is rarely quiet. Before things tighten up even more, we are back in the pātaka, clearing the shelves and checking what has been happening and what is coming up. Right now, Read more...

Proctology – 30

Posted 1:31pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Critic Te Ārohi was a little uncertain about whether the Proctor would be keen to meet once again, given our artistic interpretation of him. However, despite him thinking that the Proctology column would have “no readership interest” and be “dropped like a hot pie”, we Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Truck Stop Tinder

Posted 1:13pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Lady Pain Grey

At the end of the academic year, one must take stock. Papers passed: 7. Extra-curriculars: doing them. Friends made: heaps. Huzz: 0. A big, fat, embarrassing zero. After the last few students trickled out of Dunners for the summer, I sat through my first few sexless weeks doing the maths. If I Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 9 2026

Posted 1:09pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by The Orb

Aries You're gonna go to a pub quiz this week, and feel like an absolute genius when you get the most random question right. Watch out though, cause at the rate you're drinking, you're going to wake up with the fattest hangover in history on a Wednesday or something.  Your Monster Read more...

OUSA Exec: Kamesha Jones

Posted 1:07pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Kamesha Jones

I spend far too much time on Instagram reels. It’s true – though I wish it wasn’t. And while I’ve now cut myself off from the addictive political whirlpool run by an ‘unbiased algorithm’, it is truly hard to escape from politics online. Even true before-bedtime Read more...

Editorial: 32 Pages and Hustle Culture

Posted 1:05pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Christmas has come early for you lot, because I’m pleased to announce on behalf of the Critic Te Ārohi team that the mag will shift to printing 32-pages per week, effective semester 2. The decision has been made alongside OUSA. Shifting to 32 pages gives us a net gain of 12 pages per Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 9 2026

Posted 12:51pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS: 1 - The Odyssey 4 - Ransack 8 - Aragorn 10 - Obliterating 12 - Yodel 13  - Neigh 14 - Espresso 16 - Relinquished 23 - Aura 24 - Mercilessly 27 - Canteens 28 - Fortified 29 - Arsonist DOWN: 1 - Thogomizer 2 - Enabling 3 - Yapping 4 - Recognised 5  - Read more...

Booze Review: The 5 Dessert-ish Beers

Posted 12:50pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Swig60

Sup pissers and shitters! This isn’t your typical review. We couldn’t remember what we thought of the drinks from Hyde, so we dragged our dusty rears through New World's health and wellness section and picked out 5 of the weirdest beers we could find. If your flatmate cooked a Read more...

Editorial: How To Love Yourself

Posted 1:31pm Sunday 19th April 2026 by Hanna Varrs

As a fading fifth year and seasoned older sister, I’ve decided to write some advice to my first year self. However, I think this advice is applicable to anyone in their initial years of uni.  I think I had a pretty standard Dunedin student experience. I’ve done the parties, done Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 8 2026

Posted 1:23pm Sunday 19th April 2026 by The Orb

Pisces With things getting increasingly out of budget, it might be time to turn one of your hobbies into a side hustle for the next R1 Market Day. Wrangle your flatmates into helping, pay in drinks and start a makeshift factory line during free hour of power. Your character from The Office: Kelly Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 8 2026

Posted 1:11pm Sunday 19th April 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS: 1 - Alcatraz 5 - Wordle 8 - Vexed 9 - Trophies 10 - Veto 11 - Typhoons 13 - Nauseous 15 - Ballet 16 - Temporarily 18 - Gut 20 - Eddington 21 - Audit 22 - Segway DOWN: 1 - Ain’t it Fun 2 - Ciao 3 - Techno 4 - Antenna 5 - Wrecking Ball 6 - Dodgeball 7 - Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 7 2026

Posted 1:37pm Tuesday 14th April 2026 by The Quizzler

Across: 1 - Great King Street 8 - Detonator 9 - Trunk 11 - Absorb 12 - Russell Crowe 16 - Steroid 17 - Edibles 19 - MDMA 20 - Mowed 22 - Adieu 23 - Endorsement 24 - NRL Down: 1 - Gladiator 2 - Ecstasy 3 - Thin 4 - Nicotine 5 - Sus 6 - Rewrap 7 - The Killers 10 - Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Summer School Gets Steamy

Posted 3:59pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Lady Pain Grey

To set the scene, it was Summer School. Already a pretty cursed time of year. Half the campus was deserted, and the people left milling around campus were a little strange. I mean, who does Uni during the holidays? To add to the isolation, none of my flatmates had moved in yet. I was bored out of my Read more...

A Word From Know Your Stuff

Posted 3:56pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by KnowYourStuff Otago

Who are we?  KnowYourStuffNZ is a peer-led drug checking and harm reduction service that has been operating since 2015. We address the lack of factual, proven information available to drug users about the substances they intend to take by providing drug checking and drug-related information Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 7 2026

Posted 3:51pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by The Orb

Taurus Your current employer is making you wanna quiet quit, or even just straight-up ghost them. Even though the job market is fucked, it can’t be worse than your current job. The next desk your resume lands on will be the right one. You deserve higher than minimum wage anyway. Your Read more...

Inclusion On Campus

Posted 3:29pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Rihana Warsame

Within my short time as Welfare and Equity Representative, and throughout my studies in general, there is one topic that has come up consistently: students who identify as being in one or more equity groups often feel “othered”. This can come from not feeling included in conversations Read more...

Editorial: Drugs are Everywhere

Posted 3:25pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Gryffin Blockley

Kia ora and welcome to Critic Te Ārohi’s annual Drug Issue. This happens to be one of Critic’s most popular issues (alongside the sex issue – maybe we are all as mature as we think we are as young adults).  The first article I wrote for Critic in my tenure as Co-Editor Read more...

Better Cones and Gardens: The Logistics Behind a Rager

Posted 3:08pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Jonathan McCabe

Fresh out of first year halls, it’s finally your turn to host the party of the century. Last year, the tenants threw a rager – as did the ones dating back for the last fifteen years. No pressure! Whether you're chasing Lakehouse-level chaos or just trying to avoid a flop, the Read more...

Booze Review: Cody’s Bourbon & Cola 7%

Posted 3:05pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Swig60

Sup pissers and shitters. This week we set out with one goal: to tackle a tried-and-true Kiwi classic. It’s a drink with a reputation that walks the line between nostalgia and being a straight up punishment in a can. It’s Cody’s week – so get in the backseat of a Nissan Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 6 2026

Posted 12:34pm Sunday 29th March 2026 by The Quizzler

Across 1. Armenia 4. Two face 7. Goat 8. Verified 10. Seem 11. Inbred t13. Cables 15. Busted 17. Crook 18. Suspended 20. Tee 21. Rule Of Thumb 22. Nature 23. Enticing Down 1. Agressor 2. Exterminator 3. Invinsible 4. Twisters 5. Feeble 6. Exalted 12. ESPN 14. Shut Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 6 2026

Posted 12:12pm Sunday 29th March 2026 by The Orb

Pisces As you hear the Clock Tower strike twelve at Pint Night, you’ll rush to buy another shot. However, in your haste to get drunk, you will lose your three year old Converses. It’s not guaranteed your Prince Charming will find them, but maybe your next two-week situationship Read more...

Editorial: What is a question that you are really scared to know the answer to?

Posted 12:09pm Sunday 29th March 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Hey there! Welcome back, and see you soon. It’s about to be the midsemester break, after all. It’s my week to do the editorial. I’ve procrastinated writing this until the night it was due, too stubborn to let Gryffin take over doing it instead. I scrolled through a lot of Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: DO NOT BLOW ME LIKE A FUCKING WHISTLE, BABY!

Posted 12:09pm Sunday 22nd March 2026 by Sam Jones

From the clickbait title, I would like to preface that I am a woman and not a whistle. There was a guy I was seeing and he was a bit of a freak, unfortunately not in a good way. Like he was just straight up weird. However, I succumbed to the idea of us having D1 basketball babies as he was Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 5 2026

Posted 12:04pm Sunday 22nd March 2026 by The Orb

Taurus Your inner child is running away from you. As you sit through your unnecessarily long lecture, you will wish you were still a kid who didn't have to put up with lectures and assignments. But enjoy the phase you're in right now, because you'll graduate eventually and forget all Read more...

OUSA Exec: Happy Saint Paddy’s (belated)

Posted 12:02pm Sunday 22nd March 2026 by Daniel Leamy

Kia ora students,  Happy Saint Patrick’s Day to all those who celebrated last Tuesday. Whether you were up well before the sunrise kitted out in green, or simply enjoying the sunshine between classes, the vibe around campus was unreal. The weather played ball in a rare Dunedin W, and Read more...

Editorial: I Became Friends with a Thirty-One Year Old – And You Should Too

Posted 11:59am Sunday 22nd March 2026 by Gryffin Blockley

I met David in line for a concert in Auckland a couple months back. I was faced with the feat of attending a gig alone, as someone who is a victim of a relatively insufferable music taste and introvertism. Despite not having mates by my side, it wouldn’t motivate me any further to face my Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 5 2026

Posted 7:45pm Saturday 21st March 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS 1 Metal band responsible for songs like 'Chop Suey' 8 Broadcasting 9 Book of the Bible containing hymns and such 10 Common version of Google 11 Doing nothing 12 Teased and mocked 13 Mythological warrior women 18 Transferred from parent to offspring 19 Cool, venomous Read more...

From the Pātaka

Posted 7:42pm Saturday 21st March 2026 by Brady Simeon

A few weeks into the semester, and the pace has already picked up for Te Rito. Between fresher flu outbreaks, the tamest St. Paddy’s Day of the decade, and the slow disappearance of week-one motivation, TRM has been doing its part to keep things interesting. Naturally, there are a few things Read more...

Booze Review: Miami Wine Cooler

Posted 7:39pm Saturday 21st March 2026 by Joan of Rark

Here lay the bodies of Swig60, our former and beloved Booze Reviewers… Nah. Sike, cuz! They just got a little too rowdy on Paddy’s and now can't even look at alcohol. Let alone write about it. So this task falls to me, Joan of Rark, the 2025 Booze Reviewer.  Grab your Read more...

Proctology – 29

Posted 7:36pm Saturday 21st March 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Like ships in the night, Critic Te Ārohi and the Proctor haven’t been in direct contact for a while. Our communication has mostly been through Uni Comms media statements – like toxic exes that use their child to communicate. “Well, you can tell your father that I Read more...

Critic Lite

Posted 7:59pm Saturday 14th March 2026 by Critic

Last week, Critic Lite* hit stands with a reduced page count. For 2026, the magazine is alternating between 36-page and 16-page editions every other week. This change was announced in Issue 25 of Critic Te Ārohi last year, but many people did not know about this until the first Critic Lite* was Read more...