Pisces
As you hear the Clock Tower strike twelve at Pint Night, you’ll rush to buy another shot. However, in your haste to get drunk, you will lose your three year old Converses. It’s not guaranteed your Prince Charming will find them, but maybe your next two-week situationship will.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: Mint chocolate
Scorpio
The break is here and it's time to cheer: you’ll finally have enough time to hang out with your long distance bestie. It's time to make up for all those nights apart, hit your home town hard, and show them how Otago students party.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: Coal
Capricorn
The way to your heart is free stuff, so go to those free pizza lunches every club seems to have right now. Grab a friend and try a different degree every day: Monday Anthropology, Tuesday Law… by the time Friday is here, advanced nuclear physics may be your calling.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: FREE PIZZA
Virgo
This week is all about speaking your truth, not showing it. When your friends ripping you out about how far back your hairline is, remember that curtain bangs are always an option to hide the truth behind. If you’re a dude, check up there to see if it’s receded, and consider buying a cap.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: Shane Hollander
Taurus
You have a serious problem with love bombing. Take it from someone who has been in the same boat – it feels a bit like going down a waterfall with the oars on fire. Don’t hang in for the what ifs, run the other way.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: A life
Libra
You need to start getting more sleep – three hours isn’t enough, despite what you’ve convinced yourself of. Your friends have been noticing that you join the land of fairies during conversations. Consider taking a reset night to let your brain properly switch off before the next day.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: Melatonin
Saggitarius
You are a shining star. People are starting to see that glow, baby! When everyone looks to you for leadership, I'm here to tell you that you’ve got this. If you're ever in doubt, tune into Craig Daniels Campus Watch. He'll already have an answer for any leadership questions you have.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: Mini Eggs
Leo
I admire your sneakiness. The way you're always ten steps ahead of the game is insanely impressive. Not everyone can see how you can manipulate the crowd around you, but I do. Just make sure you don't get your stories crossed or you'll end up ruining the illusion you worked so hard to build up.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: Licorice
Gemini
That last assignment left you crying in Central for the first time. We have all been there, and you can wipe those tears away. The midsem break brings freedom: go home, forget everything you studied, and pretend you don't know how to fend for yourself so you can eat your parent’s cooking again.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: Baileys
Aries
Your life is starting to look like a full-on Monet. From far away, it's ok. But up close, it's a big old mess. Ditch Instagram, because those hiking videos aren’t helping your desire to just run away from your problems – even if you only make it half way up Baldwin Street before giving up on your hot girl walks.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: White chocolate
Cancer
With petrol prices rising the way your grades never could, you’ll get a call from your Mum telling you to start buying apocalypse supplies in bulk. Here we go with COVID 2.0. Aren't you just thrilled to be told at the checkouts that you're only allowed to buy one pack of toilet paper again.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: Canned beans
Aquarius
This week you're going to work up an appetite, but it’s written in the stars that you're going to find someone special to spend the weekend with. You’ll only be leaving bed to grab the DoorDash you forgot about ordering, leaving it sitting outside for a concerning amount of time.
What the Easter Bunny hid for you: Stale chocolate
