Archive

The Hell Hole | Issue 12

Posted 2:20pm Sunday 21st May 2017 by Beth Salisbury

I have worked at Dunedin’s famous Cadbury Factory for four years and it has been a blast. Cheap chocolate has its benefits on a squally Dunedin day, and I’m sad to see this job go. The people here have been great comrades and we have had many a laugh over the years. However, as I walk Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 12

Posted 2:16pm Sunday 21st May 2017 by Student Support

Dear Ethel & Hyde I’ve been having some flatting trouble. At first, I thought maybe I was overreacting, or that the stress of university was just hitting me a little bit hard. Then I started to keep track of things that were happening, and realised it wasn’t all in my head. One of Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Issue 12

Posted 2:11pm Sunday 21st May 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

According to the nice lady at Leith Liquor, we’re getting into the colder months and whisky can make a great winter warmer. So I took her advice and bought the cheapest bottle in the store. Burn Mackenzie is a great winter warmer in the same way that a house fire is a great way to heat your Read more...

Mystery Object Hunt (May 22-28)

Posted 2:06pm Sunday 21st May 2017 by Critic

Day of the Day It’s a special week of special days. Here’s what’s worth celebrating this week: Monday 22 May – Sherlock Holmes Day, Accounting Day and Goth Day. Never have three such concepts come together. Get out the eyeliner, the Netflix, and your tax returns Read more...

Vapourium Presents Science Tank | Issue 12

Posted 1:50pm Sunday 21st May 2017 by Joe Higham

In just the last few days, scientists used a 3D-printer to print artificial ovaries, implanted them into a mouse who subsequently gave birth to some young pups. It got me thinking: if you can print functioning ovaries for a mouse, what else can you do with a 3D printer? In recent weeks Read more...

David Clark | Issue 12

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 21st May 2017 by David Clark

I’m proud of New Zealand’s history of educational achievement. Despite falling a few ranks in recent years, we still score well by international standards. And many of us have taken up the opportunities of further education. Our slide down the rankings shows why we cannot take our Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 12

Posted 11:46am Sunday 21st May 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week, a waste of six words.   The many-limbed amorphous blob that is the ODT got wet on its shuffle to work this morning.   Tired of the inconveniences of Earth, a sentient tentacle slopped on a keyboard. The ODT just wants to go Read more...

Editorial | Issue 12

Posted 10:25am Sunday 21st May 2017 by Joe Higham

If you put the acronym ‘OUSA’ and the word ‘referendum’ together, many of you will likely fall asleep, I totally understand that. For most the lure of free pizza isn’t even enough to tempt you into sitting through the upcoming forum (22 May) and, having had to cover the Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 11

Posted 2:31pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Student Support have reported to us that many of you are having trouble with the people living in your place of abode. If you do not understand why a person in your living quarters is behaving oddly or badly, observe carefully the make of the skull and face, for there you may find clues to the Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 11

Posted 2:17pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 11

Posted 2:11pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Fanny Clive-Trevor

He’d been spraying the spray again. They sprayed it in the bathroom, but it floated out and through the door into Nicole’s room. That stuffy stink, the chemical sweetness of sticky drying spray. His Lynx deodorant. Reeking and seeping into her room, making her cough and Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 11

Posted 2:06pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Student Support

Dear Ethel & Hyde Our elderly neighbour keeps calling noise control. Even when we are not having a party noise control have come and checked and said we are fine with our noise level. What can we do to stop the neighbours complaining? - Annoyed, Not Noisy   Ethel and Hyde is Read more...

Mystery Object Hunt (May 15-21)

Posted 1:51pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Critic

Monday 15 May – Choclate Chip Day Relinquish your “I’ll start on Monday” diet, for it’s Chocolate Chip Day and there are few ways of celebrating that do not involve eating them. Tragic. Tuesday 16 May – Biographer's Day Biographer’s Day! Marry a Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Issue 11

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Leith Liquor clearly made some sort of fuckup with their suppliers, because for the past couple of weeks they’ve had a pile of this stuff big enough to kill a whole floor of unicol freshers staring you down as soon as you walk in the door, and they’ve been desperately trying to get rid Read more...

Anei a Ngāti Scarfie

Posted 1:35pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Eli Toeke

The last two months of being Tumuaki of Te Roopū Māori have been the best two months of my time here at university. Te Rito (the Executive team of Te Roopū Māori) have been working diligently to provide services and events to tauira and actively advocating for the interests of Read more...

Poetry Corner | Issue 11

Posted 1:27pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Mel Ansell

What night was it? Perhaps the tenth or eleventh, I was used to the heaviness of your sleeping body already, after all, generations have slept beside each other. It is nice to have just another piece of evidence of my humanity. Our ancestors knew the shapes in which to bend to hold, but Read more...

Vapourium Presents Science Tank | Issue 11

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Carl Pinter

In the New Testament, Jesus reportedly performed a miracle when he raised Lazarus from the dead. 2000+ years later this event still permeates our culture, with even a Doctor Who episode named after Lazarus. Of all of Lazarus’s namesakes, potentially the most interesting is Lazarus syndrome; Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 11

Posted 11:12am Sunday 14th May 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week the ODT has evil tidings.  Expect military conscription to start any day now.   The ODT went to see a theatrical performance this week.  Thanks ODT, we value your input.   The ODT didn’t stop there. They started to think about Read more...

David Clark | Issue 11

Posted 11:00am Sunday 14th May 2017 by David Clark

The Labour Party recently released its Party list for the upcoming election. Whether as number 26 last time or number 8 this time, I'm proud to represent Dunedin North. It is exciting to be part of a team that's passionate about making New Zealand a fairer place, with the vision and talent Read more...

Editorial | Issue 11

Posted 10:35am Sunday 14th May 2017 by Joe Higham

When the time came for you to flee the nest and travel to university, you’re likely to have heard your parents or guardians notice your anxiety and reassure you by saying something along the lines of, “Don’t worry. Your university years will be the best years of your life.” Read more...