To start this week, the ODT is reporting on something that will revolutionise agriculture.
Just imagine a future where humans are able to grow crops. Close your eyes and imagine. Just imagine.
Next, the ODT has finally lost the ability to tell young people (people under the age of 50) apart.
“They all look the same, what with their partying and their suspicious lack of arthritis,” was heard shouted in lamentation from the ODT roof.
Next, the ODT had a revelation.
The penguin was inside us the whole time.
Next, a tragedy.
Whatever will I do without my shiny meat?
And finally, the ODT clearly had to fill a page last minute
Other articles in the ODT’s backup article filing cabinet include “Weather might happen today”, “Are young people biologically inferior?” and “Disaster! Floods flood floody flood flood”.