This week we would like to devote all our space (and most of the Facts and Figures space as well) to addressing the ODT’s cryptic and eye catching post-election image.
Interestingly, the ODT decided to avoid any specific reference to Game of Thrones in the picture; presumably to throw off anyone who read the large text across the bottom reading, “A Game of Thrones”. The ODT have in fact never seen the show, as nudity makes them cry.
In the image Jacinda Ardern is logically depicted as Joan of Arc, because both came to the French in their time of need. In a clever and subtle reference to his dislike of Napoleon Bonaparte, Bill English is presented as Francis II, the Holy Roman Emperor.
However, it turns out that the person Winston’s head is photoshopped onto is ALSO Francis II, the Holy Roman Emperor. Clearly the ODT are trying to make us form a mental link between Bill and Winston. But why? Are they trying to imply that Winston will favour Bill in coalition talks? That Bill is actually Winston’s twin? That all historical male rulers are essentially the same person (true)? Or is it just that the ODT couldn’t be bothered google imaging more than one person.
This was in the Monday issue. You had all weekend ODT, for fuck’s sake.
In the time in between now and the last ODT Watch, the ODT published the headline, “Offer from Butt too good for Cox to turn down”. ODT Watch was tipped off about this headline (it was in the sports section, which we normally skip to stay awake) from a source inside the ODT. That’s right; the ODT has a mole secretly working for Critic. We are everywhere. We are legion.