ODT Watch | Wedding Edition

ODT Watch | Wedding Edition

This week we journey hand-in-hand into the wonder that is the ODT Wedding Guide.

Hell, yes!


No matter what you do, do NOT let any women speak at your wedding

They’ll only gossip, nag, and tell everybody that they don’t want to be there and are being sold by their father for a three millstones and a Lordship.


Congratulations, you can now legally have sex, according to the ODT. Do NOT use contraception or it is a sin.


There is nothing more helpful to bar staff than having a group of hyped up, drunk, entitled yuppies stumbling round their bar, surrounded by glasses and knives. 


You can really embrace the racism by bringing along a feather headdress and dancing around and around the tee pee doing a war cry.


Give that ring a gooooood old polish, not too fast and not too slow. Don’t stop. 

This article first appeared in Issue 23, 2017.
Posted 11:29am Sunday 17th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin.