Archive
Editorial | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Joe Stockman
I am a white, middle-class, straight guy with a BA. I wish sometimes I were more exotic. I see bisexual Spaniards with mullets and tattoos and I get awfully jealous. But I have had to come to terms with who I am and make the most of it. And since the world is basically built for white, middle class Read more...
Scarfie Chronicles | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by The Scarfie Archivist
Maybe the glory days of Scarfiedom are over, and maybe they’re not. Regardless, we don’t have to go to far back in the archives to find some truly awesome scarfie antics. The Editor of a certain student magazine remembers the poor sod who was last to turn 18 at UniCol in his first year. When Read more...
Proctology | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Staff Reporter
Perhaps the summer break is too long for some students. 94 students managed to lose enough brain cells over the holidays to end up having to climb those stairs to visit the Proctor over O-Week. Amazingly enough, not one of the incidents leading to these little sit-downs of justice occurred Read more...
Presidential Column | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Logan Edgar
Gidday mate, Firstly apologies for last week’s Presidents column it was a bit shitbox. I let myself down and I let you down. And for that I apologize. You see, I was a rather busy boy last week – as you may have heard we at OUSA threw a wee party down at the Stadium. So I didn’t have much Read more...
Every day I’m chapil’n | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Greg Hughson
I enjoyed Orientation this year. It was great to meet so many students around campus, as well as in our Residential Colleges and around the Combined Christian Groups BBQ on the Museum Reserve late at night. What would you say you enjoyed most about Orientation? What did you enjoy least? I’d really Read more...
Lozz's World | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Lozz Holding
Hi kids. Currently I am sufficiently hung over to qualify for a disability grant. On top of feeling like a chemo patient in his fourth week of treatment, I am also extremely fucked off. I’m not angry about the rash on my crotch or the lingering smell of red Powerade-vomit wafting through the flat, Read more...
Swillable | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Mr Squid
Taste: 7.5/10 Price: $12.95 Standards per vessel: 7.1 I had my pinot at room temperature so as not to kill the flavour. Besides, I had a lady coming over to help with the tasting. I thought it would sweeten the deal to let her think I was some impressive wine connoisseur; a modern Read more...
Objection Overruled | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by
Dear Critic – I headed down to Castle street last weekend, and needless to say, shit was pretty loose down there. I noticed that Campus Watch and the cops were all over the place! What’s up with those guys? What do I need to watch out for being the unassuming young blood that I am? – Troubled Read more...
Classic Film | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Jane Ross
Director: Peter Yates What happens if you just don’t know what you’re supposed to do with your life? Breaking Away is a funny, intelligent, uplifting, and at times heartbreaking coming-of-age film that attempts to answer this question for a group of four high school graduates. Academy Award Read more...
Clubs & Skux | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Olivia & John
I guess I should explain the premise of this column. John and I, (John is away skuxing overseas this week) go to clubs and try to have enlightening cultural experiences, while at the same time rating them on their ‘skuxability’. Also, John and I both vary on the Kinsley scale (we are both at least Read more...
Straight Up | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by La Dida
I have been up in Auckland for the last couple of weeks, which has been sunny and fabulous. I managed to head to the Big Gay Out, which was cool despite the inclement weather, and the fact that John Key was voted sexiest male politician. That poll must be rigged, cause John Key rates below zero on Read more...
World Watch | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Sumantra Maitra
Aloha! Guess who’s back? Yes, the same Indian wordsmith, who got a chance after tickling the nostalgic side of your editor. Or maybe it was a quota thing, we Indians are used to quotas. Anyhoo … The world was as usual very interesting – not as interesting as my roommate finding 36 tin can openers in Read more...
Uncle Howie | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Uncle Howie
Dear Howie I was out at Monkey on Saturday night getting my skux on, and I noticed that for each hot girl, there were like 10 guys dancing around her. What the hell man, can’t a guy have a lady to himself anymore? – Still solo Hi mate, The “Sex Pit” of any dance floor is a dangerous Read more...
How to: Pick Up
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Staff Reporter
So apparently Critic is talking about sex this week, or at least it seems like it is. So in that vein, I’d like to discuss the mystical art of picking up. Some of us can do it without even trying, fuckers. Fuck them and their nonchalant good looks and well-fitting clothes; their stylishly-coiffed Read more...
Me Love You Long Time | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Lovebirds
Dunedin is renowned for many things, but its dating scene is not one of them. Getting boozed and pashing people on the dance floor is hardly anyone’s idea of romance, so Critic wants to sort you out. Every week we’re sending two loveless loners on a blind date to Tokyo Gardens (with a bottle of wine Read more...
The Tory Templar | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by The Tory Templar
The Templar’s blood boils when thinking about this issue. It is the one thing on which no compromise exists. The act of abortion may have become more acceptable in this country’s culture but the Templar will never be anything other than disgusted by it. Abortion is, in no uncertain terms, Read more...
Red and Starry Eyed | Issue 2
Posted 4:53pm Sunday 4th March 2012 by Red and Starry Eyed
Every now and then, at the entrance to the hospital, one can still be harassed by people wearing anti-abortion sandwich boards adorned with gory photos. Funnily enough, most of these ‘protesters’ are men. Abortion debates in New Zealand are nothing compared to those in the US or other deeply Read more...
Presidential Column
Posted 5:25pm Saturday 25th February 2012 by Logan Edgar
A bloody good welcome to ya, Here lies the first yarn of the year (apart form all those Orientadium yarns you saw before this). This is where I set about having a rant about what’s going on with the Executive so you know what we’re up to or sometimes just have a big whack on about the week. Read more...
VC's Letter
Posted 5:10pm Saturday 25th February 2012 by Professor Harlene Hayne
The beginning of the new academic year is a very exciting time. One of the reasons that I became a professor (and ultimately a Vice-Chancellor) is that I have always been hooked on that “back to university” feeling. I love everything about this time of year - the renewed energy in town, crisp new Read more...
Te Roopu Māori | Issue 1
Posted 5:07pm Saturday 25th February 2012 by Te Roopu Maori
Tenei te mihi ki a koutou nga tauira hou o Te Whare Wananga o Otakou! Nau mai, haere mai, rarau mai ra ki raro i te tahuhu o Ngai Tahu ratou ko Ngati Mamoe me Waitaha. Kia Ora koutou and welcome to Otago Uni! Hope you have all got amongst O-Week, made some new friends, joined some Read more...
Lozz's World
Posted 3:41pm Saturday 25th February 2012 by Lozz Holding
Kia Ora and all that shit. Welcome to the first installment of Lozz’s World. Throughout this completely self-indulgent column I will discuss current events (yeah, not really), express my opinion on everything relevant to scarfies, pass on the silliest yarns from around campus and generally rant Read more...
Swillable
Posted 3:33pm Saturday 25th February 2012 by Pilbo Swaggins
Taste: 7/10, Percentage: 5%, Price: 12-pack, $23.99 on special (RRP: 26.99), Standards per vessel: 1.3 First produced during the summer of 1998, and re-released in batch form every summer since, Monteith’s Brewing Company refers to this particular brew as “a fresh, bright and lively Read more...
World Watch
Posted 3:15pm Saturday 25th February 2012 by Sumantra Maitra
Kia Ora and welcome to the very first World Watch, a whimsical look at the stranger goings-on in the world. I was pretty lucky to get to write this column, considering that Critic already boasts a little short of seventeen thousand volunteers. But I somehow cornered our sprightly young Editor, and Read more...
Classic Film
Posted 3:12pm Saturday 25th February 2012 by Sam McChesney
Director: Roman Polanski Chinatown is a blockbuster that would never get made today: main characters die off-screen, the plot has something to do with the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power, there is a light-hearted visual gag about wife-beating, the protagonist spends half the film Read more...
How to: Be a Fresher
Posted 6:16pm Friday 24th February 2012 by Staff Reporter
Now, you might not think that you need a guide to being a fresher – it should just come naturally, right? Wrong. Being the best fresher that you can be is the result of hours of hard work and preparation. It is not a challenge to be taken lightly. To help you on your way, Critic has compiled the Read more...
Straight Up
Posted 6:09pm Friday 24th February 2012 by La Dida
So, the first queer column of 2012 is about marriage. No surprise there. The happy dyad of gay marriage and adoption reform seem to dominate queer media, community and social spaces at the moment. I hear it all the time: “gay marriage is the next step/last frontier”, “it’s the rights issue of our Read more...
Geekology
Posted 5:56pm Friday 24th February 2012 by Robbie Masters
The human brain is a complex beast, with approximately 100 billion cells and perhaps 100 trillion connections between them. These connections form information “highways”, which pass electrical currents from one part of the brain to the next. Almost everything you do as a human is dependent on these Read more...
Uncle Howie
Posted 5:32pm Friday 24th February 2012 by Uncle Howie
Dear Howie, I recently met a stunning redhead named Suzy outside Metro one balmy Saturday night. Needless to say, the attraction was instant and things got hot and heavy fast. The thing is, Suzy would like me to perform something in the bedroom, and I’m not exactly confident in my abilities. She Read more...
LILF
Posted 5:25pm Friday 24th February 2012 by Hot For Teacher
Hello, Peter. May I call you Peter? Whenever I ask you this in my head, you say that I can call you anything I like, and wink roguishly. Of course, I am more than willing to call you “sir”, if you would prefer. In my first year of study I had the delight of being in your CELS191 lectures, and Read more...
Me Love You Long Time
Posted 5:05pm Friday 24th February 2012 by Lovebirds
Dunedin is renowned for many things, but its dating scene is not one of them. Getting boozed and pashing people on the dance floor is hardly anyone’s idea of romance, so Critic wants to sort you out. Every week we’re sending two loveless loners on a blind date to Tokyo Gardens (with a bottle of wine Read more...
The Tory Templar
Posted 3:28pm Friday 24th February 2012 by The Tory Templar
The nanny is back and she’s letting her nanny-state culture bleed into every sector of our lives. The University’s recent actions have shown that in loco parentis, the Uni’s right to act in place of your parents, is making a comeback. The idea that the University should be allowed to dictate Read more...
Red and Starry Eyed
Posted 3:22pm Friday 24th February 2012 by Red and Starry Eyed
While freshers are still hiding behind their maps, the scarfie lifestyle is yet again being frowned upon by the DCC. This problem isn’t new – they have wanted to impose a liquor ban in North D since 2006. They want to drop the last drip of our SoGos; probably cause they haven’t been invited to a Read more...
Editorial
Posted 3:11pm Friday 24th February 2012 by Joe Stockman
Kia Ora and welcome to Critic 2012. Founded in 1925, Critic is your student magazine. It is our job to reflect student society and culture, and allow you guys to see yourselves, and your issues, in your own media. We keep an eye on OUSA and the University to ensure they’re behaving themselves, and Read more...
Debatable - 28
Posted 3:21am Monday 17th October 2011 by Critic
Debatable is written by the Otago University Debating Society, which meets for social debating every Tuesday at 7pm in the Commerce Building. This week’s motion is “that individuals should be allowed to sell their organs”. Rebecca Gates argues the affirmative while John Brinsley-Pirie argues the Read more...
Summer Lovin' - 28
Posted 2:53am Monday 17th October 2011 by Critic
Tin Tin Before my date I had been pre-drinking with a couple of flatmates, as seems customary for such endeavours. My solo walk to Toast only cemented my suspicion I shouldn’t have drunk as much, but adventure favours the bold, right? As I arrived, my gaze fell straight onto the Read more...
Editorial - 28
Posted 2:18am Monday 17th October 2011 by Editor
Blah blah blah, sad, blah blah blah, k thnx bye Shit’s about to get all soppy and nostalgic, so if you can’t stomach that sort of thing, I’d recommend you quickly turn the page. I’ve been Editor now for approximately a year, and what a ridiculous year it’s been. After all the late Read more...
Summer Lovin' - 27
Posted 5:25am Monday 10th October 2011 by Critic
Rose When I signed up for Summer Lovin’ I was expecting to have a week or two to amp myself up for said lovin' - if they even contacted me at all. What I actually got was a paltry six hours to mentally and physically prepare myself for a blind date with a guy who would undoubtably be Read more...
Debatable - 27
Posted 4:46am Monday 10th October 2011 by Critic
Debatable is written by the Otago University Debating Society, which meets for social debating every Tuesday at 7pm in the Commerce Building. This week’s motion is “that New Zealand should get rid of MMP”. John Brinsley-Pirie argues the affirmative while Ben Loughrey-Webb from the Campaign for MMP Read more...
Editorial - 27
Posted 4:08am Monday 10th October 2011 by Editor
Penultimate Prattering To many, politics are about as exciting as watching cricket being played by senile citizens in slow motion. And by that, I mean not very. Me, I’m one of those odd folks who actually enjoys politics. I wish my interest were entirely due to principled ideals, but like Read more...
Summer Lovin' -26
Posted 4:14am Monday 3rd October 2011 by Critic
Marge I have only read a Summer Lovin' article once before, and I remember laughing to myself thinking I would never do that. Imagine my surprise when my best friend waltzes into my room on a Monday night, announcing gleefully that she had signed me up for Summer Lovin' and that I had a Read more...
Debatable - 26
Posted 3:46am Monday 3rd October 2011 by Critic
Debatable is written by the Otago University Debating Society, which meets for social debating every Tuesday at 7pm in the Commerce Building. This week’s motion is “that this house would ban product endorsement by celebrities”. Maddie Harris argues the affirmative while Kate Rouch argues the Read more...
Editorial - 26
Posted 2:49am Monday 3rd October 2011 by Editor
Break It Down It finally happened! The lumbering elephant in the corner, the symbol of freedom, the subject of doomsday proclamations, the cause of the nearing apocolypse. Yep, the notorious VSM passed through its third reading last Wednesday. To be honest, I’m secretly quite relieved. Not Read more...
Summer Lovin' - 24
Posted 5:56am Monday 19th September 2011 by Critic
Minnie My good friend was supposed to be going on this week’s date, but after breaking into hot sweats and vomiting due to nerves an hour before she was supposed to go, I kindly stepped up to the plate. I walked into Toast at 8pm and managed to walk right past my date. This could be Read more...
Black Penises, White Supremacy
Posted 4:36am Monday 19th September 2011 by Julia Hollingsworth
Every city seems to have a Rugby World Cup-related controversy, and Dunedin is holding its own with the Rachael Rakena’s phallic work erected in the Octagon just in time for the hoards of sports fans. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the purpose of the work has been overshadowed by comments Read more...
Editorial - 23
Posted 2:21am Monday 12th September 2011 by Editor
I believe in miracles This week is our “Beliefs” issue. We’re not talking about what you think exists (I, for instance, refuse to believe in exclamation marks, despite being constantly confronted with evidence to the contrary). We’re talking about the views you hold dear, the ideas that define Read more...
Diatribe - 23
Posted 2:19am Monday 12th September 2011 by P. Bateman
It is a common belief that the "Exam period" of Otago life is detrimental to student romance. When exams are happening and a few weeks beforehand, it is apparently a terrible time for scuxing, flirting, sexing, doing spade work or making sweet love. It is commonly thought that as people go Read more...
Debatable - 23
Posted 2:16am Monday 12th September 2011 by Will Chrisholm and Paul Hunt
Debatable is written by the Otago University Debating Society, which meets for social debating every Tuesday at 7pm in the Commerce Building. This week’s motion is “that rugby league is better than rugby union”. Will Chisholm argues the affirmative while Paul Hunt argues the negative. Read more...
Editorial - 21
Posted 10:46pm Monday 22nd August 2011 by Editor
SNOWY, SNOWY NIGHT It’s just been one of those weeks, really. The internet is moving as slowly as a dying snail, the snow has melted, changing the weather from romantically idyllic to painfully cold, and assignments are setting in, leaving the general population in an academic malaise. First Read more...
Debatable - 21
Posted 10:37pm Monday 22nd August 2011 by John and Sue
Debatable is written by the Otago University Debating Society, which meets for social debating every Tuesday at 7pm in the Commerce Building. This week’s motion is “That Pokémon are better than pets”. John argues the affirmative, while Sue argues the negative. Affirmative I never used to Read more...
Summer Lovin' - 20
Posted 4:53am Monday 15th August 2011 by Aladdin and Jasmine
Critic sets up two lucky students on a blind date. Aladdin In the back of my mind there was a whisper, “this could be your lucky night”. The bright summer loving was shining on me as I arrived at the lads’ place for the pep talk. What if she’s a muddy? Read more...
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