Archive

ODT Watch | Issue 02

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Thomas Raethel

Considering the level of racial diversity seen in Dunedin, it comes as no surprise that our fine region’s “African Chief” looks like a mixture of Prince Charles and Hamish Keith. What is most alarming about this scenario: that the prostate examinee was enjoying it more than the Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 01

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Zane Pocock

Suddenly those free O-Week pies seem a bit more sinister: “He had reheated the pie in a 630W microwave at his workplace, as he had many times before,” the article says. The rest was dotted with such gems as “[Otago’s] hot food injury rates begin to boil over,” while “hot food injury Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Laura Illston

Your busy timetable of procrastination and partying hard may not have left you much time to sleep. Will science be able to help you when those first due dates start to loom? Of course! Your solution: a power nap. The key thing about power naps is that they’re less than 30 minutes long. As you Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Hello Lovelies, This week I want to tell you a story about a little boy called Lloyd. This boy grew up in a small rural town in the south of Aotearoa. He had a “traditional” upbringing, surrounded by a loving family, Christian values, hard work and lots of toys. He was a bright kid, good at Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, If you’ve been lucky enough to contract a rare disease in your lifetime, then you’ve no doubt met a bunch of medical students and had them poke, prod and probe you. It’s a law of nature that doctors love to cart their minions through the hospital to proudly display their Read more...

David Clark | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by David Clark

In the past seven days, new Otago students will have met people they’ll know and care about for the rest of their lives. How do I know this? From my own experience and from that of countless Otago grads through the years. Ask those who’ve been around a little longer. Of course, not everyone Read more...

Feelgood | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Ethan Rodgers

Comrades, at the time this article was written, Ellen Page (best known for her role as an irritating prego-hipster) had recently burst forth from the closet in a cloud of rainbows, glitter and k. d. lang records. Oh, good for her; I know a thing or two about being locked in a small enclosed space Read more...

Editorial | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Zane Pocock

Last Sunday evening, before the first issue of Critic had technically been published (we distribute a day early for reasons of practicality), an editorial decision had already left me labeled a “numbnut” on Twitter by local National list MP Michael Woodhouse. For me, there are two key points Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Hello lovelies, Welcome to this column, and for those new to town, welcome to Dunnaz. I hope you have a great year at Otago as you load yourself up with a huge student debt and try to get yourself a degree. I also really hope that you get the most out of what you can learn here outside of Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi, everybody! Something I’ve noticed in my travels through the healthcare system is that there are certain questions that come up whenever people find out you’re a medical student. If you’re female, you’ll undoubtedly be asked: “Are you going to be a doctor or a nurse?” by your Read more...

David Clark | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by David Clark

Welcome to 2014. I love this time of year, with North Dunedin enjoying the surge of energy that accompanies students repopulating the electorate. While this isn’t my first appearance in Critic, for those of you I haven’t yet met: I’m your local electorate MP, David Clark. I have the Read more...

Execrable | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Zane Pocock

The OUSA Executive meeting held last Tuesday 18 February saw President Ruby Sycamore-Smith leading confidently from the front, with Administrative Vice-President Ryan Edgar suspiciously silent and looking much like Critic’s new pet goldfish. The meeting got off to a slow start, however, with Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Elsie Jacobson

Have you heard of herd mentality? It can manifest in a few different ways. You may notice some of these as you observe University of Otago students in their natural habitat. (Cue David Attenborough voiceover.) Approaching the St. David’s lecture theatre around half past the hour, you Read more...

Feelgood | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Ethan Rodgers

A friend of mine was recently employed to be a man in a gorilla suit. He’s supposed to be encouraging the fine people of Dunedin (not to mention the multitude of raving lunatics who wander the streets curiously free of straight jackets) to “Get Active!” with all the irritating enthusiasm of a Read more...

Editorial | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Zane Pocock

Just as an exhilarating combination of caffeine, excitement and sleep deprivation kicked in with our first print deadline looming last Wednesday evening, a truly sad moment for New Zealand student media was broken to those who were listening. Massive, the combined magazine of a whole shitload Read more...

How a Jacobin Ends | Opinion

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Jacobin

If you have read any of my columns, I hope you enjoyed them. I hope you felt personally addressed by them. I imagine you as I wish you to be: happy and constantly learning. As for me ... well, the revolutionary is a doomed man. Robespierre, the original Jacobin, was guillotined by his Read more...

Editorial | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Sam McChesney

So here’s the last issue of the year! Oh golly gosh, I have so many people to thank! I’d like to thank my mum and dad, for raising me to be the editor I am today. They were so proud when I delayed entering the workforce to take on an eternally Google-able, man-child job involving prodigious Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Hannah Twigg

Ever wished you could just implant memories into your head? You could chuck in a memory of having read your entire textbook for class without actually doing the reading. Well, guess what: scientists have managed to put false memories into a mouse’s brain! The breakthrough was made possible by Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Dr. Nick

As Dr John Dorian once said, “endings are never easy … We all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang on to our every word, that they care what we think.” This quote kick-started my imagination, and I bawled like a little bitch. While reasserting my masculinity by eating Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by M and G

Rating: 3/5 G has always assumed that Governor’s, located on George Street opposite Knox Church, is some sort of Jamaican eatery that sells goats’ cheese curry. In fact, Governor’s is a brunch-centered café open seven days a week. After being fucked over by daylight saving, M and G Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

The Alexandra Blossom festival, an annual springtime kaleidoscope of small-town New Zealand goodness, is a Dunedin bucket list must-do escape. Held at the end of each September, when Central Otago’s blossoms are in full vernal splendour, the Festival is stretched over several weeks but culminates in Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Lovebirds

BrandonI went into the date expecting very little – the selection pool of openly gay people in Dunedin who would sign up for this date must be tiny, so to be honest I thought my man would be a disappointment. To make things worse, I was also half expecting my date to be someone I already knew. Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week, “The More Things Change” comes to its inevitable end. History, meanwhile, does not. 12 October, 1216: King John of England, best known for sealing the Magna Carta, ran into trouble on a journey and lost the Crown Jewels in a swamp. He’d been out fighting the barons and the French, Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Josie Cochrane

No, the Queen wasn’t talking about John Key’s visit. The article is about wasps being accidentally introduced into New Zealand for no purpose whatsoever, much like tofu. Funnily enough, the ODT isn’t referring to its own reporting. The title actually refers to Dunedin’s Read more...

The Preachings of a Liberal | Opinion

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Guy McCallum

Since this is my last year at university, and my last column for Critic, it seems fitting to use this space to impart some of the wisdom that I have obtained over the years. This wisdom is the end product of my various achievements – and numerous disappointments – first as a Christian, and a Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 25

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, Put your hand in your front right pocket and have a good ol’ feel. That phone you’ve got in your hand, and its reliance on the ore Coltan, is responsible for the conflict in the Congo that the World Health Organisation conservatively estimates kills over 1,000 people a day. Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 25

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Bryony Leeke

Exams are looming, stress is building, the Central Lib will soon be overflowing, and the stress-relief method that got us through the rest of the semester – that favourite student pastime, the weekend booze-binge – will shortly be abandoned in favour of Saturday nights hitting the books. Within a Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 25

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by M and G

Rating: 3.5/5 This one has been a long time coming. Capers is a Dunedin institution, mostly for freshers who want a break from hall food and well-meaning guys taking their one-night stand out for a “thanks for the bang” brunch. Famous for their obscenely large pancakes and frantic weekend Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 25

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Lovebirds

JackIt was the usual story for me: my flatmates dobbed me in for the date and I decided to go along with it. My date was a good old-fashioned Scarfie lass – a GB in the truest sense – and I thought we were in for a relatively good night. I was wrong. Initially, it seemed like dinner was going Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 25

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week, animals are important. 30 September, 1846: Modern medicine advanced once again when Dr W. M. Morton first used ether as an anaesthetic, administered by simple inhalation of the fumes. Ether is rarely used for anaesthesia today, but has become a mildly popular recreational drug, Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 25

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Josie Cochrane

Shocking! Critic had always thought history was about the future. In an insightful study, researchers found that by standing near the bar and looking at the bartender, you’re more likely to get served. He is fine with humans; he just needs therapy for sneering Read more...

OUSA Election Forums | Opinion

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Jacobin

In my mind, the success of any elected organisation is largely dependent on its leader(s), and whether or not they manage to unite an often disparate group of people under one banner in the name of getting shit done. Ruby Sycamore-Smith could name at least six other candidates she was Read more...

OUSA Election Forums | Opinion

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Guy McCallum

I wasn’t surprised that the questions raised at the Presidential Forum centred around three main themes: participation, finances and OUSA’s role in campus life. Jordan seemed to be the odd one out. Someone (I suspect a friend of his) asked him whether OUSA should, like the modern-day state, Read more...

Yellow and Blue Make Green | Opinion

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Guy McCallum

The environment is a stick with which libertarians are stuck gleefully, and often. If our libertarian ideals are to be taken seriously, they need to be seen to deal satisfactorily with the problem of pollution – a problem that is deeply intertwined with the pressures of consumerism. Read more...

Editorial | Issue 25

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Sam McChesney

Voting is now open for the OUSA elections, and we have an interesting three-way battle for the top spot. I say “interesting”; in reality it’s a little depressing. If I could have picked two ideal Presidential candidates from the current Exec, it would have been Blake Luff (the Recreation Read more...

The Loose Guide | Issue 24

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 22nd September 2013 by Campbell Ecklein

Life isn’t always easy. Between busy schedules, peer pressure and a tendency to over-commit, many of us wind up with very little time for ourselves. This can lead to serious medical conditions like boredom, crankiness and strop. Sometimes all you need to do to reset the balance is take a pause for Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 24

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 22nd September 2013 by Matthew Ordish

Pedants tend not to be popular people. They’re often seen as those who, rather than contribute to a debate on the tastiest berry, insist that strawberries are, in fact, aggregate accessory fruits, and not berries at all (you uninformed philistine). This derision is mostly deserved; if Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 24

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 22nd September 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, An obvious issue with writing a health column for a student magazine is the fact that the target audience is young and healthy, dramatically limiting possible topic selection. It would be far easier to write for the ODT – their target audience seems to be around 80 years old, Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 24

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 22nd September 2013 by M and G

Rating: 5/5 Mou Very / Mou Bar / The Smallest Bar In The World (or whatever the kids are calling it nowadays) is a back alley hot-spot nestled between Hikari Sushi bar and Café Nesli on George Street. Mou Very roasts its own beans on site daily and has a range of awesome beer and spirits on Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 24

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 22nd September 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

Its name isn’t inventive, but at least it’s descriptive. Long Beach, a suitably extensive (not in 90-mile Beach terms, mind you) stretch of blondish sand, reaches 2.5km between two rocky headlands. Around the headland to the left you find Purakaunui Inlet; to the right, the sinisterly-named Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 24

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 22nd September 2013 by Lovebirds

RihannaCritic did well on the racial stereotyping this week, putting me with another dark beauty. But he was nice and buff and smooth and wonderful so I got over the surprise easily. We settled in to dinner quickly and happily. He complimented me a lot and proved to be an adventurous eater, Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 24

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 22nd September 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week, science and technology progress in leaps and bounds. 27 September, 1066: Duke William II of Normandy set sail for England, and went about taking over the place in a significant, and ultimately successful, quest for the throne. (He is now known as William the Conqueror for precisely Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 24

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 22nd September 2013 by Josie Cochrane

The ODT is so glass-half-empty! We preferred the images of Team New Zealand nearly capsising – these showed the world who’s the dog and who’s the lamppost. Breaking News: there is now a new oldest man. Critic wonders how regularly this title changes hands. It’s Read more...

Legalise It | Opinion

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 22nd September 2013 by Guy McCallum

History’s progression has seen a steadily narrowing scope of self-determination. When once self-determination was thought of as the right of states, it has become in practice a right of individuals. Some of the fruits of this narrowing scope have been the abolition of slavery (and its pursuit as an Read more...

Editorial | Issue 24

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 22nd September 2013 by Sam McChesney

This week is our politics issue. My sincerest apologies. We now have a brand-new “leader” of the “opposition,” who may or may not prove competent enough for us to drop the quotation marks to which we’ve become accustomed in recent times. David Cunliffe’s had an interesting couple of years – Read more...

The Loose Guide | Issue 23

Posted 2:39pm Sunday 15th September 2013 by Campbell Ecklein

Depending on how far up your arse your head is, some of you may have noticed that Dunedin actually extends beyond the Student Quarter (and the Octy on weekends). The rest choose the path of blissful ignorance, which is a short path indeed. If you’re tired of being limited to territory that you can Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 23

Posted 2:39pm Sunday 15th September 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, So a fortnight ago I put off talking about obesity because it was too big a topic. Like a morning on the crapper after a night at an Indian BYO, though, the subject can’t be avoided, so we might as well load up Angry Birds, settle in and do this shit. Obesity is defined Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 23

Posted 2:39pm Sunday 15th September 2013 by Elsie Jacobson

We all know that life is beautiful. Total cliché, I know. Flowers are pretty sweet, you can’t help but enjoy a good sunset, and everyone loves butts. You can see all of those things for yourself, though. The microscopic world is just as incredible, only you can’t see it with the naked eye. Read more...