ODT Watch | Issue 01

ODT Watch | Issue 01

The Hot Food Issue

Suddenly those free O-Week pies seem a bit more sinister:

Facing another pie

“He had reheated the pie in a 630W microwave at his workplace, as he had many times before,” the article says. The rest was dotted with such gems as “[Otago’s] hot food injury rates begin to boil over,” while “hot food injury rates cooled nationally,” which Critic would like to point out are literally the same joke but reversed. And let’s not forget that “Southland’s statistics simmered” – naturally, the way you’d further this metaphor into stagnation.

Currie too hot

Cue a very, very slow clap. The context? Braden Currie won back-to-back Longest Day titles during the Coast to Coast race.

Claim clubbed calves supplied to plants alive

You’ll learn to pronounce it correctly after five attempts, and you’ll somewhat understand it after ten. The story is actually quite awful – that the practice of clubbing unwanted calves to death is resulting in some arriving at processing plants not quite dead. Perhaps the seemingly nonsensical title is just a very clever form of censorship.

Seized ship taxpayer cost $150k

Yes, ODT. Your sub editor should probably cast their eyes over your headlines, too.

Dunn convicted of attempted murder

We jumped at this – though, what’s more intriguing than the ODT breaking something as huge as this scoop was the prowess with which the lengthy court case was hidden – but then we realised that we had found ourselves in Florida, thanks to the ODT’s token “World” page. Oh, and it’s “Dunne” with an “e.”
This article first appeared in Issue 1, 2014.
Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Zane Pocock.