Archive

Queer Eye | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Orion

Moving on from last week’s introduction to non-monosexuality, today it’s time to bust some myths and talk media representation. Let’s get this out of the way right now: Non-monosexuals are no more likely to cheat, be promiscuous or have trouble committing to a relationship than anyone else. Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, I want you to picture two healthy new-born babies; all cute and pudgy and covered in blood and poo, because birth is messy like that. For simplicity’s sake, let’s call them Baby A and Baby B. For complexity’s sake, let’s turn Critic upside-down and try to read the rest of this Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Julie Reichenbach

Good try with the cutsie title, ODT. What this article is really about is the systematic murder of 769 rabbits in the “Great Easter Bunny Hunt.” Back in my day, the Easter Bunny hunt entailed searching for chocolate eggs ... times have apparently changed. The ODT appears to be Read more...

Defending the kingdom | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Alex Carroll

Pigs have long been a human meal, being one of the first animals to be domesticated almost 13,000 years ago. Under domestication, pigs lived a similar life to what they had in the wild, bar only the fence around their enclosure. This way of farming pigs remained largely unchanged until the second Read more...

David Clark | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by David Clark

Not so long ago, Dunedin’s homeless were regarded as an idiosyncrasy, known by name to students, and looked out for. Now they are becoming too numerous to care about – or so it seems. People don’t stop to speak with the homeless. Instead of an idiosyncrasy, their ubiquity is turning them into an Read more...

Editorial | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Zane Pocock

I sincerely dislike public holidays. I understand that many others do, too. Before I explain, I feel the need to emphasise that I am a big supporter of increasing workers’ rights. I’m not at all a fan of what currently seems to be an inevitable enslavement by employment, I understand the Read more...

Love is Blind | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Laura Illston

Invisibility would be an awesome superpower. Are you socially avoidant? Just throw on your handy invisibility cloak and you’re good to go! And maybe you don’t want to hide. Maybe you just want to conceal your peanut butter so your flatmates will stop stealing it. What does science have to say about Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Orion

Greetings, fellow humans: Today we set out to explain a relatively simple concept: not everyone is more attracted to one sex/gender than another. Let’s think of people as food. You like pizza, right? Maybe you don’t, but you’re not going to get up in my grill if I do. Some people also Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, Winter is coming. The white walkers are approaching, the Lannisters are sending their regards, and everybody you’ve grown attached to is being killed in the most gut wrenching of ways. Fuck you, George R. R. Martin. As winter approaches, not only do we see an increase in the Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Kristen Stewart

The ODT is your one stop shop for news of the royal visit! All the drooling and irrational obsession you could possibly hope for over the duration of their stay is to be found in the ODT’s special “royal tour” feature! Funny how so far none of the articles have mentioned how the visit is Read more...

David Clark | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by David Clark

“Sex is fun; religion is funnier.” Some in my theology class took offence. The theology professor who issued the statement was one of my more entertaining ones. It was him who used to call me “mister tippy-tappy.” Apparently some in the class didn’t think it appropriate to laugh about either Read more...

Editorial | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Zane Pocock

Whenever I hear someone say “gay” in a way that means “lame” or “stupid,” I tense up a bit. Worse still is “faggot,” laden as it is with an atrocious history of meaning in relation to gay people. It’s a genuine physical reaction that I never would have expected considering these are words that don’t Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Elsie Jacobson

What do wasabi alarms, farting fish, bat blowjobs, dogs’ bollocks, and undead salmon have in common? They were all subjects of Ignobel prize-winning research! Now, if you’ve never heard of Ignobel Prizes, get excited. Far funnier than Darwin awards, they acknowledge research that “makes you laugh, Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Unfortunately, too many students consider the dilemma posed in the title on our campus every day. And not because we’re a navel-gazing bunch, obsessed with hypothetical problems, but because of the very real gender segregation in the bathroom facilities provided by the University. I am Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Dr. Nick

Being a fresher is tough; you still study for terms tests, people give you filthy looks when you go to the Octagon, you think people give a fuck about your hall and the order in which you chose it. You also get blamed for a lot of shit like ruining Hyde Street, signing up for flats in May and making Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Kristen Stewart

Denmark has come up with an innovative way to increase birth rates – and we like it! Though we’re a little mystified about the encouragement for “elderly and gay couples” to participate ... Um, no, I think your guest will be thinking twice before accepting a dinner invitation from you Read more...

David Clark | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by David Clark

I’m glad to see Critic has already sounded the alarm about the Government’s proposed changes aimed at removing student membership from university councils. It makes me angry to think that students will be excluded from decision-making at the highest levels. A growing body of evidence proves Read more...

Editorial | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Zane Pocock

With the OUSA Executive’s first quarterly reports being presented last Tuesday, it’s about time we checked in for an overall look at their performance. And for the first half of the meeting I was (somewhat surprisingly) pleased with their effort. It seems that almost everyone is finally contributing Read more...

Love is Blind | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Hannah Twigg

"This curry is really hot!” your flatmate says when you serve up dinner. Your spice-intolerant flatmate quickly asks if the curry is spicy hot, or just hot because it’s fresh out of the pan. They can’t handle spicy food, and are hoping it’s the latter. But why do we describe foods with lots of Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Greetings, pumpkins. In a previous column I noted that sexuality is slippery. Well, my friends, gender is more slippery than muscle-bound Turkish men in a grease-wrestling match (look it up)! There are many aspects of gender to explore but this column will focus on gender identity. Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, Sex. It’s fun. It’s fun in relationships, it’s fun casually, it’s fun when you love somebody, and it’s fun when you don’t. Let’s never underestimate how fun sex can be because, in the words of Rebecca Black, it’s “fun, fun, fun, fun. [I’m] looking forward to the weekend.” But Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Allison Hess

So that’s why they’re tearing up the Leith! Get your sledge hammers out – we’re going to be rich! You’re giving us mixed messages here, ODT. We thought destruction was meant to boost profits ... Instead an 11-year-old apple merchant is now financially ruined. High Read more...

David Clark | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by David Clark

Big trends shape all of our futures. The Industrial Revolution and the communications revolution have changed our world in ways past generations could not imagine. Like other trends, increasing globalisation has both good and bad sides. When I think about New Zealand’s future, there are Read more...

Editorial | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Zane Pocock

Last week, the media pounced on Kim Dotcom for owning a copy of Hitler’s Mein Kampf. People collect some strange things. I have a friend in Sydney who bought an antique taxidermy kiwi. He’s not promoting that people start hunting our iconic native bird again. Some collect their wisdom teeth Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Laura Illston

How often are you overcome by a strong urge to levitate a frog? Your answer is most likely “not often.” However, this is just one of the many things science can achieve. In addition to your frog, you’re going to need some magnets – the stronger the better. A magnetic coil of about 16 tesla Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Hello again, sweetpeas. Today we are continuing our 101 of queer identities by looking at sex. Not the sex that you do but the sex that you have been assigned. Confused? Well, let us begin with some baby-making. People make babies. They make them in a whole lot of different ways, but Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, So last week we began the sex talk from a healthcare point of view, and raised the fact that most people start having sex a lot later than you’d expect from high school banter. Before we plunge deep into the moist cavern of sexually transmitted icky things, I wanted to spend a Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Allison Hess

What kind of burlesque show is this? They're wearing more clothes than a UniCol fresher out on a Saturday night. In winter. When it's raining. If only men would accept women as equals in the workplace. That's rich coming from you, ODT. This public Read more...

Feelgood | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Ethan Rodgers

Is it just me, or do all our public holidays blow massive elephant cock? (Seriously, Google elephant penis. It’s funny). Let’s take our national holiday: now, I don’t want to get into a deliriously redneck style here, but Waitangi Day makes me want to stab people. There’s no public thing to do on Read more...

David Clark | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by David Clark

If you’ve been around a while, you’ll know Invermay is the name of a world-class agricultural research facility in Mosgiel that often partners with the University of Otago. It is part of AgResearch, the largest Crown Research Institute owned by the New Zealand Government. Recently the Read more...

Editorial | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Zane Pocock

These days, if you’re travelling around Hungary and someone wanders into your holiday snap as it’s taken, there’s a good chance you could get into deep shit with the authorities. A law that came into effect on 15 March requires photographers to ask permission from every single individual in Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Elsie Jacobson

What did the particle physicist say when he went to the heavy metal concert? “Wow, it seems the participants of the mosh pit behave intriguingly like gas molecules!” Take note, young grasshoppers; the science doesn’t stop when you leave the lecture theatre. That wasn’t a bad joke; that was a Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Harlequin

Doesn’t that have to do with spores or something? You may be dredging up fuzzy memories of Year 11 Biology: Fungi? Plants? That bit in Jurassic Park where the dinosaurs started laying eggs and shit hit the fan? Well, son, you may want to sit down for this next bit: words can have more than Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, The joy of writing under a pseudonym is that you can say anything you want without fear of repercussion. It instantly silences the angel on your shoulder that tells you not to be needlessly crass or make libellous accusations. As my name’s not on my work, I can imply that Read more...

Feelgood | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Ethan Rodgers

If there’s one thing any red-blooded Kiwi male absolutely pisses his pants about, it’s the prospect of a diplomatic dispute being resolved by horrific violence. Now through the magic of Old Media; I am coming to you from two weeks in the past, so it’s entirely possible that by now Read more...

David Clark | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by David Clark

You may know someone who works at the Dunedin Community Law Centre in Filleul Street. One of 24 nationwide, the Dunedin Community Law Centre was established in 1980. Close to 200 people volunteer there – many of them law students at our University. As the local electorate MP, I frequently Read more...

Editorial | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Zane Pocock

In this issue, Loulou Callister-Baker’s feature “Opinion Entitled to Hearing?” (page 28) speaks of the importance of transparency and accountability in universities and student associations. It’s a pertinent piece. Personally, a huge issue of mine is that I have often found the University of Otago Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Allison Hess

I think this is a sign for a good weekend (the ODT isn’t the only one capable of a great pun); if the doctors can’t save you after your night out, the Church will. Now babies can help with the DIY; it’s about time they pulled their weight around the house. When Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Hannah Twigg

So we’re three weeks in and perhaps you’re already starting to get a little sick of the ghetto of North Dunedin. Why not check out some of the local wildlife in the area? And, no, I’m not talking about the animals on Castle Street pounding SoGos. We’re actually pretty lucky here in Dunedin because a Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Hi lovelies, “I’ve always felt that sexuality is a really slippery thing. In this day and age, it tends to get categorised and labelled, and I think labels are for food. Canned food.”– Michael Stipe. This epigraph neatly introduces a tension within the queer community: that between Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, Last week we flirted with the idea of putting complex medical terms into simple concepts. This week we’re going to take our relationship with that idea to the next level; order it a bottle of the 24’s finest Pinot Gris, treat it to dinner in Dunedin’s most romantic restaurant Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Allison Hess

This front page story about the tragic three-week shortage of bananas encapsulates what the ODT is all about … hard hitting journalism, understated exposés and, of course, first-rate puns. This man was caught cultivating and possessing cannabis in his home. Lesson to be Read more...

David Clark | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by David Clark

In dark days past, when the Internet was new to Otago, I had to get a “driver’s licence” before being issued an email account by the University. Getting a “driver’s licence” involved attending labs where email communication was attempted, while supervised and under strictly controlled conditions. Read more...

Editorial | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Zane Pocock

Technology is a double-edged sword. The people on one side saying that it’s elevated and liberated humans are right; the ones on the other side who say we’re now slaves buried by it are also right. I’ve certainly got a fair bit of both sides in my life, anyway. The various computing devices Read more...