Love Is Blind | Issue 17

Love Is Blind | Issue 17

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned – if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will write one under your name. And that won’t end well for you.

Ted

After one and half years’ hard study, I finally landed my first date in Dunedin, through Critic, and on a chilly winter’s evening. Had no idea what to expect, but it turned out to be more than I expected …

I got to Di Lusso at 7:15, figuring I needed some time to get myself familiar with the environment. The place is a cosy little bar, not too busy. After trying some different spots in the bar, I decided to sit next to the window where the table is big enough for food and drinks (might have been a sub-par idea, because I realised that I could have sat closer to my date on the couch after reading the last Love is Blind). After some time, don’t remember how long, in walks a young lady to the bar, and the staff pointed her my way. Then I had a good look at my date and was stunned; she was well dressed and beautiful. We introduced ourselves with a firm handshake (damn! should have hugged her).

I followed her choice of drink and ordered some 80 proof drink (on the rocks) to get the evening started. My sweet date was a final year law student, graduating soon with a job offer in a big city (I could tell that she was studying law from her rigorous logic). So the game plan was to get her to drink more, hoping she would let her “lawyer guard” down and I’d have a chance. Turns out the alcohol got me faster, the conversation was unbelievably smooth, very interesting, and we covered a very wide range of subjects spontaneously.

Helped by alcohol and delicious food, I fell in love with her very soon. With alcoholic courage, I grabbed her hands and asked her to marry me. Surprisingly enough, she said yes, to beat a relative of hers who is getting married in September, she suggested we aim for August. Never achieved so much in one evening! Will follow up on that.

Thanks Critic for a gorgeous fiancée.

Jess

I came into this with a little cognitive dissonance. Half of me said, “Shit, who the hell actually goes on these dates?!” (Meaning, obviously, “What kind of person am I about to meet?”) Whereas the other half said, “Well, you’re cool and you’re going – so presumably someone like you!”

The former won out. I was expecting a fresher in 7/8th jeans and a cardigan studying first year law or health sci and taking a nice night off in their early few weeks of second semester. I was petrified. To fix that problem, I had a few drinks en route and a mild outfit crisis with my best friend.

Turns out, my date was nothing like I imagined.

While a solid decade my senior, he had recently finished his Masters and was awaiting the results for his PhD application. He was friendly, an excellent conversationalist, and had travelled the world – good chat was forthcoming. Somehow we segued into politics (one of those no-go date zones) and even that went smoothly!

After introductions and a bit of a laugh about the whole blind date thing, we ordered drinks and settled into the menu. Unlike dates of late, we branched away from the platters – I ordered the pulled pork sliders (spectacular) and he ordered the classic Kiwi fish and chips. Things were looking good.

Then, rookie mistake, my lovely date seconded my drinks order. I drink my liquor straight. Combine a generous bartender, “this doesn’t even taste like alcohol,” and a lightweight date and you’ve got a party. A party that ended in a spontaneous marriage proposal.

Naturally I was thrilled; we had a great time, I was pretty drunk too, so YOLO?! I accepted his heartfelt offer and we’re looking to tie the knot in August.

(After he left, I doubled back to clean up the bar tab and spent the rest of the night hooking up with some random at the Craic. Hey, Critic, a fiancé and a boy toy? I’m down.)
This article first appeared in Issue 17, 2014.
Posted 10:15pm Sunday 27th July 2014 by Lovebirds.