Archive

Editorial: Apology Letter to the OUSA Exec

Posted 3:01pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Nina Brown

To the OUSA Exec: I am sorry for failing you. Let me explain. As the news editor last year, I sat in on (almost) every weekly OUSA Exec meeting. For the most part, it was all very boring once the thrill of the invite wore off. The process was painfully formal, with each step of the meeting Read more...

Debatable: Should Halls Be Completely Vegetarian?

Posted 4:22pm Monday 26th February 2024 by Ollie Thorns

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm.   For: Ollie Thorns It’s a pretty clear case, freshers are better off without meat. The calorie intake that Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Don't Download Grindr

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Okay, some context: I’m a trans guy and at the time I was getting over my ex-boyfriend so I decided to download Grindr (don’t ever do that). I’d had quite a few people messaging me but only a select few were actually within a decent distance and I can’t drive so needed to Read more...

Editorial: Moaningful Confessions May Meet Its Unsexy Demise

Posted 5:02pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Nina Brown

We’re (maybe) scrapping Moaningful Confessions. I realise this won’t be a popular move, but it’s time.  Behind the scenes, the column has been going downhill for a while and submissions have been few and far between. Most weeks it would reach print night and Lotto, who runs Read more...

Local Produce: CANDI

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Candice is a familiar voice from Radio One, but she isn’t just a DJ on the radio – as CANDI, she’s an influential music artist with an impressive track record of live shows. Only established in Re: Ori ‘22, CANDI has quickly become a prominent fixture in the electronic scene, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 1 2024

Posted 4:47pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Aquarius  Put the fucking pastel highlighters down - it’s too early to start colour-coding things. Organisation won’t bring you the comfort you crave, but people will. Get out there and don’t let the start of sem pass you by.  New Year’s resolution to ditch: All Read more...

Booze Review: Kirin Hyoketsu Lemon

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Sippy Bill Swilliams

Students return to their shitboxes, locals complain on Facebook, the annual tradition of Flo and O lives on. A fortnight of alcohol and substance ridden debauchery – an alcohol company’s wet dream.  The only thing consumed more than piss in these two weeks of degeneracy is the Read more...

Fresher Simulator: O-Week

Posted 4:13pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

1. Welcome (Start here) You’re a fresher (our condolences) arriving at Dunedin airport for the first time ever. You marvel at all the butt-fuck-nowhere around you. Off to collect your luggage! Where did you fly in from, again? A: Auckland (Go to 11) B: Somewhere else (Go to Read more...

Editorial: Get Into It, Yuh

Posted 11:32am Sunday 18th February 2024 by Nina Brown

To many reading this: welcome back, suckers. To the freshers who have gone back and collected old issues of Critic Te Ārohi once you realised it exists, is free, and is the best thing you’ll ever read: kia ora, I’m glad you made it. Here’s a wee introduction. Critic Te Read more...

Crossword Answers Issue 26

Posted 3:19pm Thursday 12th October 2023 by Critic

No spoilers! If you're looking for the answers from our final issue, they're right here.   Crossword 1: ACROSS: 2. TOAD 4. SLOB 7. MENU 8. ISH 9. ALOE 10. IBIS 12. AZUL 14. WHITE 15. FLAKE 17. IGOR 18. ALOO 19. MAN 21. LENNON 23. TINSEL 24. MOBILE 26. OBLONG 28. BLT 30. NEVE Read more...

BOOZE REVIEW: Just Booze

Posted 11:47am Monday 9th October 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Shoutout Noisy. Shoutout ADJØ. Shoutout Albar.   New Zealand needs to change the way we drink. We drink excessive amounts of alcohol and know no weekend tradition other than binge drinking. This behaviour is extremely dangerous, and it’s projected that if we continue drinking Read more...

Editorial: Is this a Dunedin Initiation or a CIA Blacksite Torture Method?

Posted 1:18pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Flat initiations are 20 years old at best. You know what else is 20 years old? Enhanced interrogation techniques designed by CIA crackpots in the wake of 9/11. They like to go out, abduct suspected terrorists and then torture them for weeks in secret locations on foreign soil. The tactics used (the Read more...

Editorial: Is this a Dunedin Initiation or a CIA Blacksite Torture Method?

Posted 1:13pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Flat initiations are 20 years old at best. You know what else is 20 years old? Enhanced interrogation techniques designed by CIA crackpots in the wake of 9/11. They like to go out, abduct suspected terrorists and then torture them for weeks in secret locations on foreign soil. The tactics used (the Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 26

Posted 12:43pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  This is for everybody going through tough times. Believe me: been there, done that, but every day above ground is a good day. Remember that.    Indulgence to succumb to: Fighting with your conservative family members.   Pisces  Soon you’ll Read more...

Local Produce: - Fool of Stars

Posted 12:41pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Jordan Irvine

Formed in 2020, Fool of Stars started out as a high school dream pop band. The current line up, Olive Ward (guitar/vocals), Max White (drums), and Jacob Smith (organ), came together to enter Bring the Noise in 2022. Following a warm reception from friends and strangers, they decided to record their Read more...

Local Produce - No Danger

Posted 12:40pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Get your hard hats and your high-vis vests on. For a hazard-free gig, you can count on No Danger: an eclectic six-piece band that play sets with covers ranging from Black Sabbath to the Spice Girls, alongside their own originals, one of which they’re planning to officially release soon. Critic Read more...

Moaningful: Shark Tale

Posted 12:32pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

As an avid Moaningful Confessions reader, I have been recently disappointed with the lack of jaw-dropping, juicy stories, so against my better judgement, I have sacrificed the last shred of my dignity to provide the worst, most entertaining of sex stories.   To set the scene, I had just Read more...

Takeaways: Week 26

Posted 12:17pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

Something to…     Watch   Tom Sandoval’s apology video on YouTube   A raw, emotional, genuine display of social media in the golden era of the early 2010s. If your birth year ends later than 00, consider yourself lucky that your tween fantasies Read more...

Chargrills: Feta, Spinach and Lemon Stuffed Chicken Bake

Posted 12:16pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

And all of a sudden, we’re at the last recipe. It's been good team, thanks for looking at the pictures and never trying a recipe! It's not too late though, try this. You'll like it.    CHICKEN 2 chicken breasts  ⅓ block feta  ¼ cup Read more...

Takeaways: Week 25

Posted 11:24am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Something to…   Watch:   Lady Gaga’s 2009 VMA performance   Lady Gaga pretty much debuted to the world with this performance of Paparazzi, which, if you can find it, is like a piece of pop music history. The only good recording I know of is still pretty Read more...

An open letter to anyone that just got initiated:

Posted 11:09am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Fox Meyer

To the first years that just got initiated, I’m glad you’re all alive. I know it wasn’t the “worst thing ever”, and I bet you’ve got a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that what you just did really wasn’t all that glorious. I know that it ended in Read more...

Moaningful: Kia ora Critic Te Ārohi and its readers.

Posted 11:06am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Last week, you published a survey and fell back on the old trope that Computer Science students don't get laid enough.   Think about that one for a moment. Who made Tinder? Who tweaks the algorithms that set you up with your matches? Who out there knows your browser history? Have you Read more...

Local Produce: Exhuming our history

Posted 11:04am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Nina Brown

The Southern Cemeteries Archaeology Project is a colonial bioarchaeology research project. It’s run by a multidisciplinary team of researchers led by the Department of Anatomy at the University of Otago.    In the first research-driven work done into colonial New Zealand, their Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 25

Posted 11:03am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  Time to sit back, relax, and think about the Roman Empire.    Area to self-improve on: Being rational and deploying logic.    Pisces  Say goodbye to your people pleaser era, Pisces. You have been far too kind and tolerant of other Read more...

Chargrills: Flourless Pancakes

Posted 11:01am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Yeah, let's have breakfast for a change. Only thing you do need is a blender or a Nutribullet. If you don't, use the eggs to make scrambled eggs and eat the banana lol.    Ingrediants: 3 eggs 1 banana  ¼ cup cocoa powder  Dash of Read more...

Editorial: The Dictator

Posted 10:50am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Fox Meyer

There is no student body.    It doesn’t exist. There is no cohesive group of students. Everyone has retreated so far into individualism, into digital and physical isolation, that an overall sense of community has been lost. This is why you are lonely. This is why you feel Read more...

Booze Review: Diesel & Cola

Posted 10:27am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Diesel Bourbon & Cola, unlike other foul concoctions, makes you acutely aware of your own existence. It is not an elixir that conjures rationale or peace, rather it attempts to humble the drinker by bringing you a stone's throw from death. A true battle of body, mind, and spirit. Any breatha Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 24

Posted 10:18pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  Aquarius, this coming period of your life will bring about questioning, self-reflection, and a desire for change. Remember to not shy away from these feelings, as they will serve for the best in the long run.    Sexy activity for the week: Engaging in Read more...

Chargrills: Soft Shell Tacos

Posted 10:16pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

While we’re on the Mexican buzz, here's another mouth tingler to try out while avos are in season and the weather is warming up. Stay burrito-ful. This meal pairs nicely with Bohemian Wrap-sidy.    Ingredients    Soft shell tacos 700g chicken Read more...

Ōtepoti Music Compilation | Local Produce

Posted 10:15pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

As the end of the year draws close, it’s the perfect time to sum up Ōtepoti’s musical releases – and the Ōtepoti Music Compilation (ŌMC) is doing just that. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with organiser Alex Huber, about the upcoming project.   ŌMC Read more...

Moaningful: Security guards are ultimate cockblockers

Posted 10:13pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

It was a classic Thursday night. Boredom was taking over. This was back in the first-year days in halls when your love life was dictated by visiting hours. Forced to come up with some interesting solutions, I never had the balls to sneak people in. As the average beezy does when bored, I hit up a Read more...

Takeaways 24:

Posted 10:09pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

Something to…     Watch   Mike Tyson Mysteries   Ok hear me out; Scooby Doo but on Adult Swim, and starring Mike Tyson playing an animated version of himself. It is totally unhinged, brilliantly funny, and pretty dark at times. The characters also Read more...

Editorial: No Fucks Left

Posted 10:04pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

There’s only so much you can write about sex week before you run out of content. Like an editorial refractory period. After enough time at Critic you really start to scrape the bottom of the barrel for the salacious and the scintillating.   And I’m fresh out. Which is a good Read more...

Booze review: Nola’s Rich Ruby

Posted 9:59pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Are you a dignified son of a gun? One that skirts around the false perimeters that society places upon individuals? Constantly on guard for the street corners in which you protect? If that sounds like you, you’re likely a fortified wine drinker. We are a put-upon caste of people. Burdened with Read more...

Local Produce: DownsideUp

Posted 12:55pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

DownsideUp are Josh Botting (keys), Erik Dekker (drums), Hamish Phillips (guitar), Lalu Hartmann (bass) and Nathan Calver (vocals). Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the band to talk about what's on for them ‘til the end of the year.   DownsideUp formed in 2021 and have Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Selected Sexcapades

Posted 12:51pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Critic

Disclaimer: All names have been removed for confidentiality. However, these are all true stories and if you notice any resemblance to your own experience, you should probably reflect on that because you’re most likely not in this book for good reasons.   First everything I was Read more...

Chargrills: The Perfect Quesadilla

Posted 12:26pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Look sharp, idiots, this one’s for real. There’s a bit of admin involved for the initial operation but after that the leftovers process is easy as, and you only need to do one dish. Can be vegan without the cheese, and is vegetarian to begin Read more...

Editorial: The Beer Pong Survey Three Years in the Making

Posted 12:25pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

We’ve finally done it.    It’s taken literal years, but we finally have a somewhat-comprehensive survey of Dunedin’s beer pong rules. You’d think this would be relatively easy, but you would be oh-so-wrong. This counts as a sport, right?   Three Read more...

Booze Review: Kahlua

Posted 12:15pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

My caffeine addiction only became a problem once I discovered Kahlua.   There's something special about combining your vices, and the advent of Kahlua's coffee liqueur was a game changer. I'm multitasking stimulants and depressants like some kind of corporate wizard. If only Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 22

Posted 12:40pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, learn what a fucking boundary is. You’ve been overstepping and it’s getting a little weird.  Food to hyperfixate on: Beans on toast. Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 It’s time to adopt a new form of conflict management and Read more...

BOOZE: Panhead Supercharger APA

Posted 12:35pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Is Panhead craft beer? It looks like craft beer, it costs like craft beer, it gets you incredibly drunk like craft beer… but it tastes like the green bottle stuff your dad’s been drinking for the last 35 years. Supercharger is a gateway beer to the craft world, though your dad will only Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Campus watch fanfic

Posted 12:34pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Before you ask: no, this fantasy never happened nor have I abused Campus services just to see them. I respect their power way too much. But I can dream, and if it were to happen, I think it would go something like this.    It all began on the first Saturday of O-Week. Mind you, this Read more...

Editorial: Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori: Because who needs English, anyway?

Posted 12:17pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Ah, Māori Language Week, that time of the year when corporate giants dust off their faux-cultural sensitivity and engage in the shameless game of linguistic Monopoly. It’s almost heartwarming to see these mega-corporations roll the dice to determine which Māori word they’ll Read more...

Chargrillss: Fried rice

Posted 12:12pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's September. Fried rice it is. This easy dinner will have you satisfied and not feeling too heavy. There aren't many recipes left for this year so I hope you have given at least one a go. This is easy to follow, and even for the dustiest of cooks it can't go too wrong. Give it a Read more...

Local Produce: Ice Lab

Posted 12:11pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Nina Brown

We have an ice lab on campus. If you’re standing on the bridge over the Leith on Clyde St facing toward the harbour, you’ll see it: two blue shipping containers in a parking lot, set to a temperature of minus 8 degrees. The ice lab was set up around two years ago for students who’d Read more...

Takeaways: Week 22

Posted 11:53am Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Something to…     Watch   They Cloned Tyrone (Netflix)    Use your ex’s Netflix password that’s still saved on your laptop and strap the fuck in. John Boyega and Jamie Foxx star in this freakishly good government conspiracy movie Read more...

Takeaways: Week 21

Posted 9:06pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Critic

Something to…   Watch   Bionicle: Mask of Light (2003)   Ahead of our Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori issue, you might want to give this movie a go. Don’t ask why, you’ll see. Whole thing’s on YouTube. It’s equal parts Power Rangers, LEGO Read more...

Chargrilss: Winter Apple Crumble

Posted 8:52pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Everybody knows an apple crumble is the absolute queen of desserts. She’s cheap, delicious and easy as piss to make. Here’s a very simple recipe in case you couldn’t figure it out on your own.   Filling Ingredients 5 apples, peeled, de-cored and cut up into small Read more...

Editorial: Two problems with big-time philanthropy.

Posted 8:46pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Fox Meyer

It’s politics week, so I want to talk about donations. Specifically “big-time philanthropy”, which is not when Auntie Lorraine makes out a $2,500 cheque to the children’s hospital. I mean more like when Peter Thiel donated $1 million to the Christchurch earthquake recovery Read more...

BOOZE: KGB’s

Posted 8:41pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

If the KGB are vodka and lemon, the CIA must be a shot of fireball delivered via lead into the back of your brain.    KGBs are at the forefront of RTD supremacy. They are neck and neck with Billy Mav’s, each vying for the title of “favourite alcoholic beverage of the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Shore girl, shore ting

Posted 8:33pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Critic

This happened not long after I left high school, when I made particularly questionable fashion choices. It was after midnight and I was on my way to a Tinder hookup’s house, so I’d put on a little black dress and done my makeup, too. I couldn’t find any shoes to go with it though, Read more...

Local Produce | Imperfect Creatures

Posted 8:30pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Just last week, Dunedin-based fashion brand Imperfect Creatures, designed by Ethan Cruise, was shown on the New Zealand Fashion Week runway. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Ethan about his latest collection ‘MOTION’ and what else we can expect from Imperfect Read more...

Local Produce: Keira Wallace

Posted 11:09pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Not many high schoolers can say they’ve performed alongside their musical heroes, but for Ōtepoti singer-songwriter Keira Wallace, this will soon be a reality. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Keira about their music and exciting upcoming projects.   Of creating music, it Read more...

Moaninful: Snap Back to Reality

Posted 11:08pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

I’ve always read this column but I have the suspicion that some of these stories just cannot be true. So, consider this my entry to bring things back towards reality, because this is usually how things go.   Moaningful confessions? Absolutely. I’ve been moaning for months. 18 Read more...

Takeaways: Week 20

Posted 11:07pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

Watch   The Sopranos   Want to put your business degree to good use, but don't want the government taking that tax money? The Sopranos would act as a pretty good blueprint if you were looking into committing crime and fraud as a career choice (in game, of course). Also good Read more...

Chargrills: FLATBREADZ

Posted 11:06pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Do you like meatballs? Do you like salads? Do you like halloumi, spiced chicken, fish or steak? Well add anything you like to this easy flatbread recipe. The best thing about this recipe is it only has 2 ingredients. Pairs well with any meat and veggies on top. Don't forget da sauce Read more...

Editorial: Otago is About to Solve the Climate Crisis

Posted 11:03pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Great news! We’re set to lose about $900,000/year in the Geology Department, crippling our ability to research natural hazards and climate change. But what we aren’t realising is that this is actually a genius move from the top levels of government to solve the climate crisis Read more...

BOOZE: Vodka

Posted 11:00pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Vodka benefits from great PR and is likely the most renowned spirit in the world, despite it being pretty boring.   If you’re spending more than $60 on a bottle of vodka, you are a fool. That shit all tastes the same. “Wow, you can really taste that fourth filtration. It Read more...

Lit Comp Pt.2

Posted 10:51pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

Non-fiction runner-up Days: Thinking of you By Zoe Wu   The quiet buzz of my alarm nudges me awake. I blearily lift my head, expecting to see warm sun rays weaving around the curtains to tickle my face. Instead, the cold darkness of winter mornings sends a chill down my spine. Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 19

Posted 4:07pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Being numb and having no feelings is actually not normal. In fact, it’s rather concerning. Ease up on the sociopathy this week, and try to find some emotion deep within the creases of your soul.  DIY project: Clean your mojo dojo casa Read more...

Chargrills: Satay Chicken Vermicelli

Posted 3:57pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This recipe is dedicated to the lovely human who sent an email complaining about the use of prawns in my first ever recipe for Critic. I still think about that message sometimes. This was going to be a prawn recipe out of spite but I am choosing kindness. Chicken it is, and don't forget to be Read more...

EDITORIAL: Rock Bottom

Posted 3:56pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Hey, you, you’ve got thirty seconds. Sign this petition. It’s not pointless, we did this sort of thing when marine science was under the axe, and it worked. Do it, because it’s only open until Wednesday. Do it, because if Otago is willing to cannibalise its own founding discipline, Read more...

Local Produce: Small Press Fest

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

This weekend launches the inaugural Small Press Fest. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the festival’s creator and curator, Frances Pavletich of Evening Books, on the whats and whys of a dedicated fest to small press.   Small Press Fest runs from August 18-20, hosted at Evening Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 19

Posted 3:48pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Something to:     Watch   University’s Cyber Security Education and Awareness Programme   Some would say you’re supposed to engage with Otago’s Security Education and Awareness Programme, but I beg to differ; watching it from the distance of Read more...

BOOZE: Wild Moose

Posted 3:40pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Wild Moose is the greatest New Zealand/Canada collaboration since Gallipoli.    Much like the mythical beast of Fiordland for which it’s named, our country is resigned to its existence and must drink in its honour. That moose is never going to turn up. You’d have an Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Feelin’ fuckin norty

Posted 3:35pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

So, it’s 2019, Mr Traumatik is on in Auckland, how good. It was around 10pm, I had lost all my mates and could feel the party favours kicking in so I was absolutely wildin’ in the mosh and clearly sending out a vibe. A man puts his arm around me, he’s cute, we immediately click. Mr Read more...

Editorial: Rock Bottom - Save our Geology Department!

Posted 12:33pm Friday 11th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Hey, you, you’ve got thirty seconds. Sign this petition. It’s not pointless, we did this sort of thing when marine science was under the axe, and it worked. Do it, because it’s only open until Wednesday. Do it, because if Otago is willing to cannibalise its own founding discipline, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 18

Posted 2:25pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 The plot? Babe, you’ve lost it. Try getting a grip on reality this week and restore the chaotic good within your soul.  Budgeting tip: Stop vaping.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces, the weather is shit, the vibes are bad, and no one Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Sunday Service

Posted 2:21pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

It was a cold Dunners Saturday night. I was planning to do the usual, which was drink at a pres with my mates, act like their base drops are good, then go stay the night with the guy I was seeing at the time. I didn’t enjoy town that much so I never went. I was a horny girl who just needed Read more...

Takeaways:

Posted 2:18pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

Something to:     Watch   The Post-Oppenheimer Cinematic Universe   Feeling left with some existential dread after Oppenheimer? Great! Let’s make it worse. First off the block ought to be Grave of the Fireflies, a movie so emotionally devastating that Read more...

BOOZE: Jägermeister

Posted 2:18pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Some German guy - Meister Jäger, I assume - read 'George’s Marvellous Medicine' and thought, “Ya I can do zat,” and then all the other Germans were like, “I know it is only 1934, but this is ze best idea we have had in a while,” and so forth came Read more...

Editorial: Finance is just Astrology for Capitalists

Posted 2:14pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Last time we talked about bad timing: why announcing a million-dollar rebrand during massive staff cuts is a bad idea, even if the rebrand itself is a good call. This time we’re gonna be talking about maths.   Unlike the decision to rebrand, the decision to set a budget is rooted Read more...

Chargrills: Chicken Curry

Posted 2:13pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

You know what? This is far from the best curry I’ve had. It was warm and curry-like, but I probably wouldn’t eat it again. Nice and simple, yes. Will warm you up and give you some veggies. If it was a movie it would be Avatar, beautiful visuals but forgettable story and ultimately Read more...

Local Produce: Fairuza

Posted 2:12pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Jordan Irvine

Fairuza is new to the Ōtepoti music scene, but is making a quick and strong presence. As one of the few gender queer bands in Dunedin, Fairuza have established themselves as the band to follow. Only forming this year, members Phaedra (guitar/vocals), Lucy (bass/vocals) and Vzynn (drums/vocals) Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 17

Posted 2:05pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Watch   Endangered Species Aotearoa   Streaming on TVNZ On Demand (so, free!), this is a more hands-on nature show than your classic David Attenborough documentary. It is hosted by conservationist Nicola Toki and comedian Pax Assadi who visit spots around the country in search Read more...

Local Produce: The Audio Visual Dropkicks

Posted 1:57pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

They’re only second-years, but The Audio Visual Dropkicks have dropped in big to the Dunedin Sound, already playing a fair share of ski club parties and even following Hans Pucket on the road for two shows last month. Critic Te Ārohi chatted with the band about their freshly released EP Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 17

Posted 1:54pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 To get through the last few weeks of winter, treat yourself to your favourite comfort foods. Think ramen, mashed potatoes, pasta. All the carbs you can dream of. Make the most of hibernation, baby!  Habit to break: Picking your nose.  Pisces Feb 19 Read more...

Chargrills: STEAK SALAD

Posted 1:50pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's mid-winter. Buy wine instead of a box and use the excess money to buy feta and orange kumara. You deserve it. Get the veggies in and get the flu out. Life’s short, eat good food and your body will thank you.    Ingredients    600g of rump or blade steak Read more...

Editorial: Begin the Warpath

Posted 1:48pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Fox Meyer

I often write these columns with second-years in mind, because that’s usually who reads this magazine. And so I tend to write silly little editorials with fun facts and stories in them because life is already pretty stressful and depressing and the last thing a second-year wants is another Read more...

An Open Letter from the POAG Organising Committee

Posted 1:40pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Student life is marked by so many indignities that you’re supposed to accept: the cold, the debt, the lack of nutrition, the shift work for petty tyrants. All the labours that make you question your life choices and whether it’ll be worth it for some shining future. It gets worse, Read more...

Booze review: MAJOR MAJOR

Posted 1:38pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

DUDE, before MAJOR MAJOR came into my life, I would have never had the confidence to drill a hole into the Vice Chancellor’s office and fill it with bees, but now with MAJOR MAJOR I’m living my true university experience! Let’s all go break bottles on the try-line of Victoria Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: On the rag

Posted 1:32pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

I was just about to leave for uni, so me and my girlfriend at the time wanted to tick as many boxes as we could. We had a pretty kinky sex life – think like, rough rough – but at that point our sex had mostly been box-ticking, so to speak. However, on one fateful and particularly horny Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 16

Posted 4:54pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 As the semester kicks off, it appears there is some romance waiting in the wings for you. Don’t let your commitment issues or dark humour scare this potential lover off; try and be remotely normal for once.  Self care Sunday moment: Rotting with a Read more...

Local Produce: ​​Paradox Princess

Posted 4:52pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

“Quite like Barbara but don’t fuck with cops, I’m coming to Shorty in a crop top,” Paradox Princess spits on her track ‘Utopia For Sale.’ Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Paradox Princess to talk about her upcoming album ‘Creating A Time Read more...

Booze review: GIN

Posted 4:48pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Gin is medicine; it’s true. I was prescribed it, along with heroin, by my 19th century doctor. He says, “It takes the edge off of Mondays.” I miss the days when you could be prescribed alcohol by a doctor. You know you’re a special case when your doctor says, “Jesus, Read more...

Chargrills: Mexi Bowls but fod-friendly

Posted 4:46pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It’s still cold again. You know where it’s still NOT cold? Mexico. Let’s pretend we’re there again. But this time we have a sensitive tummy. Sand between toes, Trump caps everywhere. The sound of breaking waves but no rumbly, gassy tummy. Just hunger. Perfect. Read more...

Moaningful Confessions:

Posted 4:40pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

The story about the most embarrassing sex of my life starts back when I was a first-year. I was working a part time job and, like all naive first-years, I hadn't learnt to not get involved with coworkers. The guy in question, we'll call him Sam, was a couple years older than me but Read more...

Moaningful Confessions:

Posted 4:40pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

The story about the most embarrassing sex of my life starts back when I was a first-year. I was working a part time job and, like all naive first-years, I hadn't learnt to not get involved with coworkers. The guy in question, we'll call him Sam, was a couple years older than me but Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 16

Posted 4:39pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

Watch   Day After Tomorrow & Happy Feet Combo   An icy double-header of forgotten classics. Happy Feet is one of the better movies from 2006 that you haven’t watched in ages, directed by George Miller between his Mad Max movies (meaning, canonically, Mumble and Read more...

Editorial: Bring Back Child Labour

Posted 4:29pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

It’s the meme that started it all. And while we all laughed about it, we were too shy to admit that they were kinda right. That’s why, heading into election season, I am once again challenging any of the major parties to announce their plan to bring back child labour. Hear me Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 15

Posted 10:09pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time for you to normalize insanity. Flatmates pissing you off? Scream at them and eat their cheese. Situationship going downhill? Fuck someone else. Life is too short to not be your best, unhinged self.  Way to get warm: Read more...

Editorial: Dude, Where’s my Castle Host?

Posted 10:05pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

I’ve heard talk that Castle hasn't had an open host since O-Week. What’s up with that? Ya scared?   If you live on Castle, you have a communal responsibility to throw open hosts beyond the bare minimum dates of O- and Re-O-Weeks. That’s what Castle is known for, and Read more...

Booze review: RUM(S)

Posted 10:00pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Rum is the blindfold that humanity gladly adorns when things get messy.  A tipple of rum to the war-torn soldier leavens the load of indefinite suffering, and the base aromat of orange and vanilla is as familiar to fruit the sailor will get. The legacy of rum is often a swansong to the Read more...

Chargrills: Mexi-Bowls

Posted 9:54pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It’s cold. You know where it’s not cold? Mexico. Let’s pretend we’re there. Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine the feeling of sand between your toes. Imagine the background noises of the United States attempting to overthrow yet another Southern democracy. Perfect. Read more...

Local Produce: Soul Chai

Posted 9:51pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

While you’re retiring from kick-ons in the early hours of Saturday, Daniel Fitzpatrick is up and brewing the perfect cure to nurse your hangover and winter blues. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Daniel to spill the tea on his farmers market venture, Soul Chai.   As Soul Chai, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: She Pea on my Nut till I Butter

Posted 9:47pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Critic

Hope you don’t have a peanut allergy because this one is about to get saucy. So it’s about a year ago, maybe two, and I’m in a UniFlat. We’re doing flat dinners so everyone cooks once a week. And there was an international girl who was living with us who I was really into, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 14

Posted 1:33pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Take a trip to Veggie Boys this week. Grocery prices are fucked, and you will probably need some nutrients after re-o. Leeks are good this time of year.  Re-O Activity: Take shrooms and have a spiritual awakening.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Winter Read more...

Chargrills: RE-O RECTIFIER: Beef Edition

Posted 1:30pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

And we're back with a simple DINNAAAAAA. We're talking beef and vegetables, or you can use fake meat or tofu to keep it vegan. All with some sachet sauce. Tuck into this for a Re-O rectifier that won’t break the bank.    Ingredients   Drizzle of oil (fun Read more...

Local Produce: 3D Printed Nipples

Posted 1:26pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Hayley Stent

Research Associate Professor Jaydee Cabral is an Otago researcher and lecturer who is taking 3D printing to a whole new level. Her lab is going to be printing nipples. Yes: printing nipples with a 3D printer.  Of all things to 3D print, why nipples? Jaydee has a good reason. She is going to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Long as Fuck, And Also Gross

Posted 1:21pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Critic

It was 2018, I was recovering from my first heartbreak/trying to figure out how to stop fucking my ex every single time we felt like it, so naturally I downloaded Tinder - surely some fresh dique to be found there. I organised a date with this guy called Matt (was going to change his name but never Read more...