Onion Bhaji: Connor Moffat
Though Nina claims to have to bite her lip from moaning over the samosa, when it comes to choosing a hot side piece for your $4 lunch munch, the onion bhaji stands out as the superior choice. If sexual relationships with a samosa are your thing then go for it (take what you can get honestly). But at its core, the onion bhaji provides an irresistible and unique texture, with a crispy shell exterior and a flavourful interior. The sliced onions, lathered in spiced chickpea flour batter, provide a gratifying crunch with each bite, producing a next-level eating experience. In contrast, the samosa’s hard pastry-like exterior can often overshadow the filling within (which on occasion is just a whole potato).
The bhaji is also insanely versatile. This frisbee-shaped weapon of a feed is not only the perfect shape for a one-handed ‘hold and fuck that shit UP’, but their spicy and savoury flavour pairs well with any of the $4 lunch options. This makes them an excellent side piece or even a standalone snack themselves. Eating a samosa can be a messy affair, with crumbs and filling escaping all over the place and I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of being covered in samosa filling (we know you are Nina, #someonecallhumanresources)
The preparation for an onion bhaji is also less tedious than the samosas, which usually involves a more elaborate folding process. While the samosa is well-sized, it’s just impractical. An onion bhaji isn’t going to judge you for eating a whole plate to yourself. They’re the ultimate supportive snack, while samosas might give you that “Are you really going to eat another?” look. To top it off, The Bahjinator fronts the natural sweetness of an onion while being enhanced by a blend of magnificent spices, offering a perfectly balanced taste that appeals to both the casual muncher and culinary arts enthusiasts.
Overall, I will give props to Nina – the samosa does have its place. But the onion bhaji delivers an explosion of flavour and an orgasmic crunch that always makes it the preferred choice for those who seek a swift and satisfying bite of awesomeness.
Samosa: Nina Brown
I don’t even know how this could be considered a contest. In the battle between the OUSA lunch sides, samosas win – every fucking time.
Don’t be fooled, these aren’t your standard party pack triangle with less filling than a supermarket tortellini. For those whose taste buds haven’t been lucky enough to be graced with the delectable samosa, let me paint a picture: fist-sized pastry parcels fried to perfection, with a smooth potato and pea curry filling. God my mouth waters just thinking about them. The crunch of the pastry has the mouthfeel of a fresh donut so satisfying you’ll have to bite your lip from moaning, and the curry is spiced just right. What could hit the spot better on a cold winter’s day?
And better yet, the OUSA samosa is on offer for just $2. Is the $4 lunch just shy of a satisfying meal? Pop a samosa on the side, tallying $6 altogether. Fancy a lunch on the go? Grab two (or three, treat yourself) and be on your merry way, munching on your tasty meal. As a long-time samosa stan, I’ve enlightened many a peer living in ignorance of the samosa’s glory.
But I hate to be a hater, so I gave the onion bhaji a go (Connor’s a passionate soul) – and it didn’t even come close to being on the same level. I’m a girl who loves food, but I could barely make it through the bhaji. Explosion of flavour? I’m not sure what planet Connor is on. For the same price, you get a dry, stiff cardboard-like side that’s only stomachable if you use it as a vessel for better food. Two would be a pathetic attempt at a meal.
This isn’t a contest. I have the vote of the people already. Sitting at $4 lunch and taking a look around, the popularity of the samosa was clear. At Connor’s cheer at finally spotting a fellow bhaji-eater, I almost began to feel bad for the guy. Critic’s Designer Evie, trying both for the first time, was the tie-breaker: “Now having tried the onion bhaji, I’m so impressed by how you’ve managed to talk it up because it was not good. It was so dry!” Better luck next time, champ #samosasupremacy.