Horoscope: Week 13

Horoscope: Week 13

Get out of Dunedin. The city air is not agreeing with you as of late and stretching your legs in a place where everyone around you isn't a uni student can help alleviate the scary’s you feel all day, every day. Take a trip, even if it is just out to Milton. 
Study Motivation: Impending doom of failing all your exams

You are broke, hoe. Stop spending ridiculous amounts of money on alcohol and late night snacks on the way home. Or stay in for once in your life. Soon it will be the semester break and you can eat mummy and daddy out of house and home.
Study Motivation: The Rory Gilmore aesthetic

With the moon entering your sign midweek, your motivation is finally starting to emerge from the depths where it’s been hiding. Use it to focus on your projects and impending assignments. Even though we both know you’ll wait until the day it's due, maybe cobble something together so you have a starting point.
Study Motivation: Your flatmates going to the library for once

The beginning of the week will bring many opportunities for fun and interesting side quests. Grab them by the balls and ride out the fun before the cold sets in and the seasonal depression makes you unable to leave the flat for two months.
Study Motivation: The reward of a trip to the vending machines

Woooooo, it's finally Gemini season! You cuties sure do know how to throw a big bash, so make sure to soak in all of the attention you can get. Be sure to make goals for yourself so that in a year you can look back and see how far you’ve come.
Study Motivation: Going out three times this week (must finish the essay before Wednesday)

You’re going to get a boost of energy to get your life together this week. Until now, everything has been crumbling down around you. You're a nervous wreck. Do what you gotta do to get the smile on your face again and your BO not radiating a metre in every direction.
Study Motivation: Your classmates have been studying for weeks

Stop being so cliquey and start talking to people you normally would look down your nose at. Everyone has an interesting yarn to spin and this week you have got some great ones yourself. You are usually quite charismatic; use that to your advantage and make some new friends. 
Study Motivation: You’re on academic probation

Make sure to keep an eye on those closest to you, they’re the ones who know your cancellable moments and could lowkey ruin your year. Consider this when choosing who to make a speech at your birthday. Take off the rose-tinted glasses and start seeing the world for what it truly is: a floating rock.
Study Motivation: It’s warmer in Central than at the flat

Start putting a bit of effort into those relationships you’ve been neglecting. You haven't opened a Snapchat in a week let alone spoken to a real person. Use this weekend to socialise and enjoy the company of someone other than your own hand. 
Study Motivation: Nothing better to do

You’re the personification of diamonds being made under pressure. Life has been dragging you down lately, but you’re a strong swimmer and have kept yourself afloat. This week, the tide is turning and your calendar is opening up. Use this time to relax for once in your life.
Study Motivation: Gotta make the loan worth it

While wearing a rain jacket to uni has been super practical, it doesn't fit the campus celebrity stereotype you’re aiming for. Even if people don’t know your name, they know your face. Strut your stuff between lectures and the library – there are paparazzi everywhere.
Study Motivation: Impress your sexy lecturer with your knowledge

Patch up the holes and dust the windowsills: it's flat inspection season and landlords can be absolute fucking pricks. YouTube is a good place to start, but if you need the big guns, get on Tinder and find a tradie who has a spare weekend to fix hinges and drywall in exchange for your company.
Study Motivation: Probably can’t fail another paper...

This article first appeared in Issue 13, 2024.
Posted 7:21pm Sunday 26th May 2024 by Critic.