Archive

Crossword Answers - Issue 17 2026

Posted 11:48am Sunday 2nd August 2026 by The Quizzler

ANSWERS: ACROSS: 1 - Johnny Knoxville 10 - Party rocking 12 - Vomit 13 - Imminent 14 - Usurp 17 - Falsehoods 19 - Phantom 21 - Poker Face 23 - Plankton 27 - Sideburns 28 - Boloney 31 - Aromas 34 - Abseiling 36 - Movie 37 - Party hat 38 - Florida DOWN: 2 - Orgasm 3 - Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 17 2026

Posted 11:42am Sunday 2nd August 2026 by The Orb

Aries You’ve been running on less than empty lately. Sleeping on your laptop in lectures just isn't the same as hitting your pillow at home, even if the lecture theatre is warmer and your lecturer’s voice is basically free ASMR. Go home and get some rest. Your party game: Arm Read more...

OUSA Exec: Kamesha Jones

Posted 11:29am Sunday 2nd August 2026 by OUSA Exec

For a long time, OUSA has been relatively apolitical in practice, on campus and in our strategic direction. However, over the last year, we have seen this idea begin to overturn. Seeds of political discourse internally, as well as better engagement with student politics, have grown into a more solid Read more...

Editorial: What’s Up, Party People?

Posted 11:28am Sunday 2nd August 2026 by Hanna Varrs

I went to high school in rural-ish Canterbury – Lincoln, to be exact. We didn’t really have a whole lot of parties, and the ones that were thrown were either crammed into cookie-cutter suburban houses, held in someone’s shed or, if things were really fancy, hosted by a local Read more...

The Price of Free

Posted 11:23am Sunday 2nd August 2026 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

If there’s one thing a Ngāpuhi likes, it’s arguing a case. Unfortunately for everyone else, I’ve always got one.  Artificial intelligence is having a phenomenal year. Apparently, it can write your assignment, draft a CV, answer difficult emails, and plan your holiday Read more...

Booze Review: Little Fat Lamb Shot Bucket

Posted 11:21am Sunday 2nd August 2026 by Britney Brew-ski

For Critic Te Ārohi’s inaugural Party Issue, Swig60 has outsourced their liver to a guest reviewer. Whether this was a strategic editorial decision or simply because the boys finally realised they had to pace themselves is unclear. Either way, someone had to answer the important question: Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: The Biter

Posted 9:38am Sunday 26th July 2026 by Lady Gag-me

Ok guys, let's throw it back… all the way to first year. I’m now in my fifth year, so this was long enough ago that I should probably have some perspective, but not long enough that I don’t lie awake wondering if I accidentally invented an entire situationship with a man who Read more...

Letters: Issue 16 2026

Posted 9:34am Sunday 26th July 2026 by Critic

Dear Madam Critic I am writing in disgust at the recent price increases at uni cafés. From the start of this semester, a thing Chicken and Cranberry Panini or a Breakfast Wrap is $12!! This is nuts! Campus cafe food was never supposed to be Michelin Star quality, but it was supposed to at Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 16 2026

Posted 9:32am Sunday 26th July 2026 by The Orb

Aries It’s time to cultivate more than just black mould in your bedroom. Grab those stolen plant clippings and turn your flat into a greenhouse. The best part? You can blast your heater to a ‘tropical’ level and blame the power bill on your green thumb.  Your cleaning Read more...

OUSA Exec: Student Strike For Education

Posted 9:30am Sunday 26th July 2026 by Flynn Nisbett

We aren’t entitled to anything. If we want to go to uni that badly, we should pay for it ourselves because times have changed with AI and we just need more tradies. That’s what I would say if I hated good things. Three years of fees free, promised by Labour, was designed to address Read more...

Editorial: Texts That I Got This Week

Posted 9:28am Sunday 26th July 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Last week, I committed to using a flip phone for 7 days. I will start with the cons. Firstly, I hadn’t realised how much I was relying on social media for a sense of connectivity, or parasocialisation. I found myself wondering when the days had gotten so long, and so lonely. Secondly, there Read more...

The Algorithm Made Me Do It

Posted 9:25am Sunday 26th July 2026 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

If there’s one thing a Ngāpuhi likes, it’s arguing a case. Unfortunately for everyone else, I’ve always got one.  There was a time when personality was something you developed. Somewhere along the way, we outsourced our personalities to the algorithm. Nobody simply Read more...

Better Cones and Gardens: Exchange Students

Posted 11:50am Sunday 19th July 2026 by Jonathan McCabe

Rejoice! The next shipment of exchange students has arrived in Ōtepoti. Filling the UniFlat beds of those who conquered the city before them, this group has got a lot to live up to. Being heavily involved with Otago University’s outdoor clubs, I find myself widely intertwined with the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Tyre Slasher

Posted 11:45am Sunday 19th July 2026 by Lady Pain Grey

I was in my second-year of university, and had just broken up with my longterm boyfriend. Heartbroken and numb to pretty much everything, I was keen to figure out what university hookup culture was all about, given I’d been dating my man since year 13. The unlucky guy who caught my Read more...

OUSA Exec: Daniel Leamy & Kamesha Jones

Posted 11:40am Sunday 19th July 2026 by Daniel Leamy

The second semester is well and truly underway, and OUSA has got some big things coming up! With Re:Ori behind us, we are looking toward candidate debates and voter enrollment for the general election, hundreds of club AGMs, and our very own OUSA elections in September. Plus, many more free brekkies Read more...

Editorial: I Will Go 7 Days With a Flip Phone

Posted 11:36am Sunday 19th July 2026 by Hanna Varrs

I feel weird. I think it’s probably some combination of seeing my brother for the first time in a long time and being in my last ever second semester, but I feel that every day is going too fast now. At the time of writing, I have just become eligible to graduate with my law degree. Nearly Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 15 2026

Posted 9:38am Saturday 18th July 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS 1 WELCOME 6 LILAC 8 EROS 9 MERYL STREEP 11 BUS 12 HER 13 TREASON 15 MILO 17 TWIGGY 18 KAPUT 20 BENEVOLENT 23 KITE 26 DAINTIEST 28 PANCAKE 29 ROCKY 31 HYDRO  32 OLIVE DOWN 1 WEETBIX 2 LOOKSHARP 3 MARE 4 VIOLET 5 LOVE 7 CARNATION 9 MARMITE 10 PANSY 14 Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 15 2026

Posted 9:31am Saturday 18th July 2026 by The Orb

Capricorn Stop overbooking yourself before you have a public meltdown in Central Library. Nobody expects you to be a CEO, and burning out before midterms will tank your GPA. Pace yourself, breathe, and accept you don't need to make millions. Yet.  Your Greek God: Hermes Ares The Read more...

Booze Review: Hard Rated Orange

Posted 9:08am Saturday 18th July 2026 by Swig60

Welcome back pissers and shitters, and a happy international Re:Ori! We hope everyone had a good break, except for all you Aucklanders who went to Bali. Fuck you guys, we are not reviewing your shitty Bintangs. Instead, here’s Hard Rated Orange. Tasting Notes  Yep! It’s Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 14 2026

Posted 4:07pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS: 1 - Subscribers 6 - Relic 7 - Unspoiled 9 - Ewok 10 - Empire State 13 - Gingerbread man 17 - Excess 18 - Snap 19 - Smoking 20 - Outed 21 - Kobe 22 - Shuttles 23 - Gotham DOWN: 1 - Sorcery 2 - Skink 3 - Bonsai 4 - Spokesman 5 - Brexit 8 - Aimless 11 - Arming 12 - Read more...

Proctology 33

Posted 4:04pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by Hanna Varrs

When we tried to schedule our next meeting over the break, Critic Te Ārohi was imagining that the Proctor would decline it in favour of sipping piña coladas for a sacred few weeks. It was not the case. Instead, he was all too keen to get our ear, and give us some Proctorly Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: The one that got away… For three years

Posted 4:00pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by Lady Gag-me

Everyone remembers their Big University Romance. I can sum up mine up with a few pretty sad stats. 3 years. Thousands of texts. And one lousy kiss – at the airport, of all places. We met in halls, where it feels like everyone is simultaneously trying to reinvent themselves and also find Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 14 2026

Posted 3:57pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by The Orb

Cancer This week it’s time to let your hair down and embrace some cultish behaviour. Don’t sacrifice the family pet goat, but skipping around a beach bonfire while cross-faded with friends might do the trick. Your Otago canon event: Never being satisfied by your degree Read more...

Joint Statement On The Legislation (Definition Of A Man and Woman Bill) Amendment Bill

Posted 3:28pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by OUSA Exec

The OUSA Executive and UniQ oppose the Gender (Definitions of Man and Woman)  amendment bill, and call for it to be withdrawn over the dehumanisation wielded against transgender, non-binary, takatāpui and intersex people.   Everyone deserves to live a life of dignity where we Read more...

Editorial: Everything You Missed Over The Break

Posted 3:24pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Welcome back. I missed you! In the spirit of our census results coming out, I asked you guys (via the @criticmag story) what you had all been missing about Ōtepoti while you were away for the break.  April misses hearing the clocktower chime. Ryan misses Leith Liquor. A couple of Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 13 2026

Posted 12:25pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS: 1- Daniel Radcliffe 6 - Influencers 8 - KPH 10 - Karyon 11  - Enraged 13 - Topical 14 - Methodology 19 - Gossips 22 - Satchel 23 - Boundless 24 - Scold DOWN: 1 - Daniel Leamy 2 - Exhuming 3 - Desecration 4 - IRS 5 - Enthralled 7 - Naked 9  - Innit 12 - Read more...

Proctology - 31

Posted 12:24pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Critic Te Ārohi hasn’t met with Proctor Dave Scott in a while now, but he certainly hasn’t forgotten about us. With the recent snap in the weather, we were more than happy to go and pay him a visit to get out of the kind of cold that chills you to the bone.  Upon arrival, we Read more...

Emo Boy: A Night To Forget

Posted 12:05pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Chappell Moan

One fateful night in 2025, I had the worst sex of my life.  I was just beginning my third year of uni (my first one single), and had finally decided I was ready to get back out there. I’d been snapping this guy from Tinder for a few weeks, and was out in town when he messaged me asking Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 13 2026

Posted 12:02pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by The Orb

Capricorn You've been running on feet that are one step away from giving out from beneath you, and everyone’s concerned with the amount of caffeine you have been downing lately. Paired with your “I’ll sleep after my exams” attitude, you should be careful and sleep off Read more...

Editorial: DRAMA ALERT: Tabloid is back, baby!

Posted 12:00pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Welcome to the Tabloid Issue! This one is always the best. Tabloid lets us be silly, dramatic, nosy, and unserious in the way that student journalism is made for. My first exposure to the wonderful world of print magazines was through my Nana’s Women’s Weekly, Women's Day, and Read more...

Booze Review: Purple Goannas

Posted 11:37am Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Swig60

This week, we take you back in time to a prehistoric land. When reptiles ruled, Pint Night pints cost $5, and the first-year was fees free. You know something's been around forever when you get a nod of approval from some bloke's dad while carrying two boxes home. That’s Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 12 2026

Posted 11:55am Sunday 17th May 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS: 1 - Mortal Kombat 7 - Brass 10 - Moss 11 - Assembly Lines 12 - Fender 13 - Vision 14 - Overrun 15 - Advantage 20 - Sony 22 - Ulysses 23 - Overkill 24 - Luigi 28 - Basin 29 - Notated 31 - Aviator 32 - Container 33 - Bingo 34 - Candidate DOWN: 1 - Mummification 2 - Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 12 2026

Posted 11:46am Sunday 17th May 2026 by The Orb

Capricorn With exams around the corner, your anxiety has been running high. Although patronising to hear, try to take a minute and actually breathe. Pinky promise that it’ll be easy to remember the things you're trying to shove into your mushy brain if you’re a bit calmer. Your Read more...

Editorial: Dear Otago

Posted 11:09am Sunday 17th May 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Otago, as I write this, I sit in an airport. I’m miles away from you, and I can’t help but notice that the colours seem duller and the sky less open without you near. Laughter seems less genuine, and all I can think about is coming home to you. No matter how damp the soil, or how wet the Read more...

From the Pātaka - Issue 11

Posted 11:25am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Brady Simeon

You can tell what time of year it is by what people are carrying. Shoes in one hand, laptop in the other, everything else tucked in where it fits, moving from one place to the next without really stopping. Within TRM, the volleyball tournament has just passed, Te Huinga Tauira musters are underway, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Mummy's Boy

Posted 10:12am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Lady Pain Grey

It all started on a warm summer’s night in Australia. It was Hottest 100 day – a national treasure over the ditch. It was the last big effort before uni started up again, and celebration was well and truly in session. To the pub we went! With a solid foundation of day drinking laid, my Read more...

Letters: Issue 11 2026

Posted 10:09am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Critic

Dear Critic, I’m sorry but seriously what the fuck is wrong with people in central library this year?? Why are the suicide pods absolutely filthy like  how hard is it to clean up after yourself? And all the fucking freshers talking so loudly about hubs and physics it’s a library Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 11 2026

Posted 10:07am Sunday 10th May 2026 by The Orb

Gemini As a potent full moon takes its effect on you this week, you're going to feel drawn to address the hidden cravings you've been pushing to the back of your mind. Acknowledge these desires before the energy causes disruption in your life. Flatmate stereotype: The free spirit – Read more...

OUSA Exec: Fergus Parks

Posted 10:04am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Fergus Parks

How do you do, fellow youths? OUSA’s post-graduate representative (resident UNC) here, using up ink on a column you don't read. And you know what? Good on ya! Exercise that free will, read me or don't. You think I care? Well… maybe a little. Still, I’ll try to earn a Read more...

Editorial: It’s All In Your Head

Posted 10:01am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Hi everyone, Welcome to Issue 11. We literally have two issues left for the semester, which I think is genuinely insane. How time flies!  I’m pleased to say that this issue seems to have a bit of a theme, though it was completely unplanned. Our chunkiest piece is Jesse and Read more...

Booze Review: Fiji Dry

Posted 8:04pm Friday 8th May 2026 by Swig60

It’s monsoon season, so it’s time to get wet. Actually, never mind – this isn’t Moaningful Confessions, that's on the next page. This week, Swig60 set sail (not to that island) and somehow ended up stranded with a box of Fiji Dry and very few plans beyond “see what Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 10 2026

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 3rd May 2026 by The Orb

Pisces The world sometimes feels like it’s working against you. You apply for 100 jobs, and only get one interview – you’re scared it’s your destiny to be unemployed. A panic masters might be in your future. Surely the job market will have recovered by then. Go to study Read more...

Crossword Answers - Issue 10 2026

Posted 2:50pm Sunday 3rd May 2026 by The Quizzler

ACROSS: 1 - Karl Urban 4 - Ned Kelly 9 - Labyrinths 10 - Bitcoin 11 - Rockhopper 13 - Skim 14 - Elongation 17 - Arizona 19 - Doggo 21 - Margot Robbie 22 - USSR 24 - Obviously 25 - Ignition 27 - Versailles 28 - Mad Max 29 - Search Warrant 30 - Debt Down: 1 - Killer whale 2 - Read more...

Editorial: Stop Being Mean To The BSA

Posted 2:39pm Sunday 3rd May 2026 by Hanna Varrs

If it isn’t obvious, media is something near and dear to my heart. It’s my life blood – I enjoy the chaos of it and the role it plays in keeping others accountable. That’s why I was interested to hear that the Broadcasting Standards Authority (BSA) and its associated Read more...

From the Pātaka

Posted 1:33pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Brady Simeon

The semester has properly settled into its pace now. Calendars are filling, deadlines are approaching, and the whare is rarely quiet. Before things tighten up even more, we are back in the pātaka, clearing the shelves and checking what has been happening and what is coming up. Right now, Read more...

Proctology – 30

Posted 1:31pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Critic Te Ārohi was a little uncertain about whether the Proctor would be keen to meet once again, given our artistic interpretation of him. However, despite him thinking that the Proctology column would have “no readership interest” and be “dropped like a hot pie”, we Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Truck Stop Tinder

Posted 1:13pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Lady Pain Grey

At the end of the academic year, one must take stock. Papers passed: 7. Extra-curriculars: doing them. Friends made: heaps. Huzz: 0. A big, fat, embarrassing zero. After the last few students trickled out of Dunners for the summer, I sat through my first few sexless weeks doing the maths. If I Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 9 2026

Posted 1:09pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by The Orb

Aries You're gonna go to a pub quiz this week, and feel like an absolute genius when you get the most random question right. Watch out though, cause at the rate you're drinking, you're going to wake up with the fattest hangover in history on a Wednesday or something.  Your Monster Read more...

OUSA Exec: Kamesha Jones

Posted 1:07pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Kamesha Jones

I spend far too much time on Instagram reels. It’s true – though I wish it wasn’t. And while I’ve now cut myself off from the addictive political whirlpool run by an ‘unbiased algorithm’, it is truly hard to escape from politics online. Even true before-bedtime Read more...

Editorial: 32 Pages and Hustle Culture

Posted 1:05pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Christmas has come early for you lot, because I’m pleased to announce on behalf of the Critic Te Ārohi team that the mag will shift to printing 32-pages per week, effective semester 2. The decision has been made alongside OUSA. Shifting to 32 pages gives us a net gain of 12 pages per Read more...