Pisces
Your daydreams have been full of love, art, and a future where you don't live in your shithole flat. It is awesome to have hopes and dreams, but remember that the bed you dream in needs its sheets changed at least every month. And lately that has not been the case.
Task to tick off the list: Book your car in for a service
Libra
Indecision is your worst enemy. You need to stop making the bartender your therapist whilst you ‘decide’ between a vodka cran or a gin and tonic. Pick one. It's just a drink.
Task to tick off the list: Change your address on your content insurance
Aries
You have been sprinting through life like the Energizer bunny hopped up on RedBull. Slow down and smell the roses. It is also not a waste of time to actually cook some good food, not just eating that microwave meal you have been obsessing over.
Task to tick off the list: Dust your skirting boards
Sagittarius
The grindset is admirable, but I fear that no one wants to hear about the ‘5-year’ plan you made on Canva while high as a kite. Even your mum doesn't care.
Task to tick off the list: Clean the toilet brush holder
Aquarius
You are an ‘ideas’ kind of leader. To really make your mark on the world, you need concrete evidence that you actually follow through, and aren't just spouting off your every thought in the world. Because right now you are not looking like the best decision to be boss.
Task to tick off the list: De-ice the freezer
Scorpio
You’re not mysterious, you're just a bad communicator who has romanticised their whole life. Stop confusing a ‘vibe’ with ‘a lack of emotional maturity,’ it will make everything a whole lot easier to understand.
Task to tick off the list: Buy a new pack of pens
Cancer
You are feeling really prepared. The fortnight has sent many challenges your way, but you know that the final battle (exams) is only a couple weeks out. Just keep on keeping on and all will be well.
Task to tick off the list: Write that ‘thank-you’ card
Leo
Harry Styles just ran a marathon faster than most normal people. Surely that shows that you don't have to live your life as a one-trick-pony. You can adapt and change paths, even if you feel like you are too far down the road you're on.
Task to tick off the list: Put your artwork on your walls
Capricorn
You should be proud of the work you have been putting into being less of a diva, and a better person while on the piss. While you may not rember most nights out, this is your reassurance that you are kind, you are beautiful, and you are abso-fucking-lutely funny while on the booze.
Task to tick off the list: Create a new season playlist
Taurus
It's time to do what Tauruses do best and take the bull by the horns, and face your fears head on. Whether that is finally putting your foot down with that person who just can't seem to take no for an answer, or just opening that mystery lunchbox that has been under your bed since last semester. Just fucking do it.
Task to tick off the list: Call your Aunty
Virgo
Stop organising your notes. It's not productive and you’re really just trying to distract your racing mind from the one thing it should be doing: fucking studying that degree you pay a fuck tonne of money to do every year.
Task to tick off the list: Remove enemies off of Snapchat
Gemini
Your double life of ‘serious academic’ and ‘club rat’ is finally catching up to you, so stock up on those vitamin Cs and get ready for an absolute cunt of a sore throat. Don't worry, once exams are done you can go home to Mum’s flu remedies.
Task to tick off the list: Unsubscribe from your forgotten free trials