If I’m Anxious

Posted 9:33pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Eliana Gray

I’ve been wishing hard On every seed catch wooden railing first star For those moments I’m afraid of For the moments that I love It’s like dust The way the terror settles on everything The way you forget that it’s there Until you run your fingertips and come up Read more...

Dunedin Flat Names Project | Double The Fun

Posted 9:27pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Sarah Gallagher

One thing I often hear is that students like their flats to have a ‘bit of character’ in their first couple of years flatting. ‘Character’ can often be synonymous with cold or crappy, because toughing it out in an old, cold flat is considered ‘character building,’ Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Shelley and John

Posted 9:26pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to the Dog With Two Tails. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz     Shelley When Critic’s blind date Read more...

Jägermeister Doesn't Exist

Posted 9:06pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

There is no such thing as Jägermeister. It does not exist. It is a myth, concocted by a shadowy group within the government for the sole purpose of accustoming the masses to the taste of rat poison, so one day they can feed it to you and KILL YOUR WHOLE FAMILY.  Think about it: have you Read more...

Gastro Outbreak Hits 70 Selwyn Students

Posted 9:01pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

Two weeks ago Critic was walking through campus, taking pictures for the esteemed Critical Tribune, when a group of clearly blazed women accosted us with a large bottle of hand sanitiser, claiming that there was gastro around. If only we’d listened.  An outbreak of gastroenteritis Read more...

The OUSA Exec Are Making Less Than Minimum Wage. How Is That OK?

Posted 8:55pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Esme Hall

OPINION: Student Association Executives are vital for ensuring that students are represented at the university, regional and national levels. But they’re overworked and underpaid. That isn’t right. Two weeks ago Critic reported on the resignation of two Executives of the Auckland Read more...

Scarfie Things: Capping Show Preview

Posted 8:31pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Joel MacManus

It’s Tuesday evening. Shaun Swain sits alone in the middle of the tenth row of the College Auditorium, surrounded by empty chairs. He watches an empty stage with an intense, focused stare. Nothing happens. The stage lights beat down on empty wood. Then someone rushes in from the upstairs left Read more...

How to Know if You Should Take Yourself to the Doctors

Posted 8:28pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis-Haymes and Kelly Davenport

It’s that time of year. Exams are nigh, Seasonal Affective Disorder is imminent, fruit is about to get so expensive you get scurvy and if you haven’t had chlamydia yet, chances are you might.  At this time of year, it is hard to know if you are actually sick (at least if Read more...

Outbreak of Gastro at Selwyn College

Posted 6:47pm Monday 7th May 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

There has been an outbreak of gastroenteritis (gastro) at Selwyn Residential College. Gastro symptoms include diarrhoea, vomiting, nausea, abdominal pain, fever and muscle pains. The disease can last between one to three days and spreads by ingestion of contaminated food or water, contact with Read more...

NZ Business Is Screwing Over Our Generation

Posted 9:15pm Saturday 5th May 2018 by Cameron Meads

OPINION: As OUSA Vice-President, I attended the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) summit in Wellington a couple of weekends ago. My hope that NZ businesses were proactively working towards sustainability was completely shat on. The SDGs encompass all aspects of sustainability, not Read more...