Mr. Sandler, Bring Me a Dream | You Don’t Mess with the Zohan

Posted 6:26pm Thursday 26th July 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

I think after the highs that were The Wedding Singer and Billy Maddison, I was feeling too optimistic about Adam Sandler’s talents as a cultural icon. But now we’re plummeting back down to ground level, for a film that I don’t even know how to describe – You Don’t Mess Read more...

Dr Sash | Is Oral Sex Safe?

Posted 6:26pm Thursday 26th July 2018 by Doctor Sash

A common misconception that society faces regarding sexual health is that oral sex is safe. Some people don’t even consider oral sex a risky sexual behaviour. Why? Mainly because we've always been told that safe sex involves genitalia and wearing a condom. The efforts of social media have Read more...

Tsingtao is Fucking Awful. There, I Said It.

Posted 6:21pm Thursday 26th July 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Tsingtao is an absurdly popular and massively selling beer. It’s the pride of the Chinese export market, and beloved by expats and fans around the world.  I have no idea why, because it’s fucking awful.  When I was 17 I went to Hong Kong and got really excited because I Read more...

Love Is Blind | Sally and Harry

Posted 6:08pm Thursday 26th July 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Ombrellos and Cello. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz     Sally After a four-month dry spell my standards have Read more...

Dear Aunt Kell and Mamma Zo, It’s Getting Cold. How Do I Find a Compatible Spoon?

Posted 6:06pm Thursday 26th July 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis-Haymes and Kelly Davenport

First we need to identify what you mean when you refer to a spoon. Do you mean a teaspoon, a utensil used for the movement of liquid to mouth, do you mean to hit a ball in a slow lobbing fashion, or do you mean a body you can lie down next to, and kind of reverse your arse into? We’re Read more...

The Week the ODT Thought of Something Very Clever

Posted 9:43pm Thursday 19th July 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

While the ODT have always been known for their fascination with life’s most banal moments, this week they sunk to a new low when the entire staff was enraptured by a new type of grass.     Then, we found an amazing section called “Wordways,” where the ODT Read more...

Chlöe Swarbrick wants to “make politics cool”

Posted 7:38pm Thursday 19th July 2018 by Esme Hall

Chlöe Swarbrick says she’s “the perfect flatmate”. She’s out the door of her Wellington flat at 7am and back after 11pm. She has no time to cook, so never leaves dirty dishes. That is, of course, because she’s a Green MP in an eight-person caucus and handles nine Read more...

Accessible Sex

Posted 7:36pm Thursday 19th July 2018 by Caroline Moratti

Is sex a basic human right? Not for your parents hopefully, don’t picture that.  To access sex remains a struggle that plagues most of our lives. It involves showering regularly, wearing inappropriate amounts of deodorant, and forcing yourself to make small talk about their degree. But Read more...

Have You Got a Dodgy Landlord?

Posted 7:24pm Thursday 19th July 2018 by Joel MacManus

Editorial: We’re getting to that time of year where everyone is starting to think about next year’s flatting.   That is, unless you’re an idiot fresher who signed a flat in April, paid way too much, and have already had a falling out with the former “best Read more...

Mr. Sandler, Bring Me a Dream | Billy Madison

Posted 7:03pm Thursday 19th July 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

Before starting this week’s review, I would like to take this time to declare that I am officially sick. Now I’m not blaming anyone in particular, but I think Rob Schneider is involved somehow (I feel like he’s the kinda dude that wouldn’t sneeze into his elbow). I am Read more...