Love is Blind | Issue 06

Love is Blind | Issue 06

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email or FB message us. But be warned – if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will write one under your name. And that won’t end well for you.


“No expectations, no disappointments” was the philosophy i chose to embrace prior to this blind date. Such a philosophy felt appropriate, with all the pessimistic ideas that my flat mates and I had come up with leading up to the night. “What if she turns out to be a grenade?” “Will it be awkward?” Or worse: “will I not be up to her standards?” With all these thoughts in mind I thought it’d be appropriate to follow the Scarfie tradition of indulging in alcohol beforehand.

As I walk into Di Lusso, to my surprise, I see a girl sitting at the bar who by far exceeded my (non-existent) expectations: cute smile, great figure and, most importantly, good chat. Conversations flowed and the food sure beat my other option – having stir-fry for the third night in a row. Nearing the end of our meal, I thought I was doing well when she agreed to come back to mine for drinks with my flat mates. What I failed to tell her was that all my flat mates are girls, thus giving her a chance to re-evaluate my manhood status. Things went from bad to worse when the flat tour ended up revealing the fact that my room solely consisted of a mattress on the floor and a suitcase in the corner. Although I tried to repair the damage that had been done, after an hour she gave me the news that it was time for her to go home.

Being the gentleman that I am, I chose to walk her home. As well as a hug and a kiss on the cheek, I managed to gain enough trust for her to give me her number. Although frustrated at my failure to get laid, I plan to put in the hard graft for next time. Cheers, Critic!


The idea of the Critic Blind Date excited my interest because of the fact that you get to meet someone completely new: it’s a bit of a gamble to see whether you and your date hit it off and finish your night under the sheets, develop a lasting friendship, or have a night so completely awful you have to avoid them on campus every day. For me, I truly enjoy meeting strangers; everyone you meet has their own journey and experiences going for them and I’m always fascinated to get a peep of other people’s lives and hear their stories, even if it’s only for a night.

Arriving at Di Lusso, the bartender was quick to explain to me that these blind dates always turn out to be completely awkward and highly entertaining to watch. This gave me second thoughts about the free food being worth it, and made me nervous to see exactly who my mystery date was going to be.

As he walked in, all my nerves faded away; sitting across from me was a warm, friendly individual, who had just enough scruff on his face for my liking. Together we had great conversation, never feeling forced or bland. Topics ranged from the concern of Baby Boomers in the work force to our various travels around the world. All in all, he was a good chat.

After finishing our drink tab we headed back to his flat, where I got the privilege to meet his flat mates: all girls. I think he might have regretted introducing me, for his flat mates immediately began to point out funny things about him to me, like that he would nervously let out a laugh after everything he said (Very cute, but I never would have noticed).

For how well we both got along, I think it’s safe to say that there was no fire igniting between us. After hanging out with his flat mates for an hour or so I announced that it was time for me to go home. Being the gentleman that he was, he escorted me back to my flat, and bravely asked me for my number, which I was happy to give. He was so friendly and easy to talk to I’d be more than happy to see him again.
This article first appeared in Issue 6, 2014.
Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Lovebirds.