Archive

Dunedin Shitposter Lives Perfectly Wholesome, Balanced Life

Posted 6:39pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by The Critical Tribune

A Dunedin shitposter has revealed the secret to his page’s consistently on-point humour: healthy living.  Tane is the admin of “gear up buttercup,” whose posts about the little everyday struggles of life are beloved by his 23,185 Facebook followers. What few of those Read more...

Fuck, I Can’t Cook!

Posted 6:33pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Alice Taylor

I love granola, but I certainly do not love the price of the store bought stuff. The good granola costs about $2 per seed, and that simply is not okay. So instead, I buy my ingredients in bulk and make it at home. This is the basic recipe, but you can mix it up with whatever nuts and seeds you Read more...

Guest Edition Booze Review: Water

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Bert "Diggity Dog" Dangerfield

Salutations, it’s your old mate Bert Dangerfield (Ex Regional Worksafe Co-Coordinator Southern Southland Region) here to talk to you about the elixir of youth. Did you know that multiple studies have consistently shown that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption? Alcohol has Read more...

Rate or Hate

Posted 5:38pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Sasha Freeman

Rate My friend who suddenly cares about the Olympics because she wants to root one of the NZ swimmers. Go queen!! He is probably in a dry spell with those cardboard beds.  Watching breathas get upset on their Instagram stories when Kanye predictably delayed his album, great Read more...

Horoscope

Posted 5:37pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Stop taking unjustified risks. It’s not funny, it’s just stupid.  Hobby to try: sobriety    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Don’t let the imposter syndrome bring you down. You got this.  Hobby to try: Read more...

Editorial: The Google game is the best part of the Olympics

Posted 1:21am Saturday 31st July 2021 by Erin Gourley

The Olympics are great. I love being distracted from my life by watching people who are more motivated than me and hotter than me do pointless tasks. But the Google game that they’ve created for the Olympics? It’s even better than the real thing. At first I was confused. It seemed Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Derry Dick

Posted 6:05pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Critic

It was a typical evening on Grindr. Not much was happening. I was being sent a few unsolicited dick pics y'know, just the standard scrolling and sending boring messages. My ex had broken up with me recently, so at this stage of my life I was near rock bottom.  I started talking to a Read more...

Third-Year Blames Freshers For Illness, Not Week of Binge Drinking

Posted 6:03pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by The Critical Tribune

Logan, a third year student studying geography, has come to the conclusion the Fresher Flu, spread by first-years, is to blame for his current cough and runny nose. He has been on a bender for five days but he insists that this is unrelated to his current illness.  “My immune system is Read more...

GRFT101 Is The First Ever Tertiary-Level Grifting Course

Posted 6:02pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by The Critical Tribune

Otago Universe-City LTD has released a new product to the North Dunedin market. The limited liability company said in a press release that it was “excited” and “thrilled” to be offering the southern hemisphere’s first class on grifting as a first step in establishing Read more...

Fuck, I Can’t Cook!

Posted 6:00pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Alice Taylor

Like most good things in life, cooking lasagne takes time, effort and emotional energy. But it is well worth it. If you feel like devoting a few hours into making something quite extraordinary, then I encourage you to cook this recipe. I have intentionally made this lasagne quite large because if Read more...