Archive

David Clark | Issue 7

Posted 11:17am Sunday 9th April 2017 by David Clark

The river most important to you is probably your local one. You may have grown up swimming in it, or you may have enjoyed a cheeky spot of fishing there. For Māori, awa form an important part of cultural heritage – they sustain communities.  As Kiwis, I believe it is our birth Read more...

Editorial | Issue 7

Posted 10:39am Sunday 9th April 2017 by Joe Higham

This year I was, perhaps naively, beginning to see a glimmer of hope in student politics that I thought could begin to eclipse the division and impotence that embedded itself in last year’s elected ten as the year progressed. The cohesion was almost unnerving having been accustomed to such Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 6

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Mat Clarkson

Zack became a Zombie during the first global outbreak when he was thirteen, and was now twenty-six. Those who were infected had since been rehabilitated, but their bodies never fully recovered. The Z-word was considered offensive from then on. One day Zack was eating alone in the park by the Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 6

Posted 2:36pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Student Support

Dear Ethyl and Hyde,  I’ve just been diagnosed with Celiac Disease but I can’t afford gluten free food. - Rice Cake   Ethel and Hyde is brought to you by the Student Support Centre. They advise you to take Ethel’s advice. Send your questions Read more...

Double Brown is Criminally Under-Rated

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Double Brown is a naturally fermented bitter beer with distinctive malty character. The DoBro has achieved near-legendary status among the proudly impoverished lower class.  With its reputation preceding it, it’s easy to forget what to expect from a can of the big red. I opened my Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 6

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

This affection generally occurs in females between the ages of twelve and forty-five, and it is more frequent at menstrual periods than at other times.  Causes - The present cruel method of bringing up young ladies favours the development of the disease by rendering the whole system delicate Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 6

Posted 2:16pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

Economics Everywhere | Issue 6

Posted 2:11pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Wee Doubt

Elliot Castro was a telemarketer who dreamed of better things. He told journalist Jon Ronson that he “always wanted to be better.” He discovered while working his loathed job cold-calling strangers that he could tell the person on the phone that their card had been referred to the credit Read more...

Science Bitches | Issue 6

Posted 2:08pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Ben Cravens

Whether it’s from tea, coffee, energy drinks, or a square of chocolate, just about everyone gets their morning pick me up from caffeine. But caffeine isn’t entirely benign. I missed my morning coffee today and already feel a host of the normal withdrawal symptoms that go along with Read more...

Anei a Ngāti Scarfie

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Pororangi Templeton

Kia ora koutou katoa,  We are Te Roopū Māori (TRM), your Māori student voice on campus. We started off the uni year in Ngāti Scarfie style. Wiki-O was a chance for our first year tauira to initiate themselves into our campus whānau. Our events included lazer tag, Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 6

Posted 11:22am Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week the ODT’s sensationalist fear-mongering is running strong. We at ODT Watch are highly anticipating the chlorinated staplers, rubber bands, rulers and paper clips that “all supplies” surely includes. However, it could be that the ODT are just pre-empting the Read more...

David Clark | Issue 6

Posted 11:07am Sunday 2nd April 2017 by David Clark

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Voices from Beyond the Grad | Issue 6

Posted 10:59am Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Critic

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Editorial | Issue 6

Posted 10:22am Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Joe Higham

This week is Diversity Week, an annual event aimed at raising the awareness and visibility of sexuality and gender diversity. One of the features we have in this issue, written by Kyra Gillies, is called ‘Think Pink: a 101 of Pinkwashing in New Zealand’ and delves into the corporate Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 5

Posted 2:34pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Student Support

Dear Ethyl and Hyde,  My lab partner is a fucking dumbass and keeps interrupting me during my calculations etc. to ask questions. It messes up my train of thought and as a result I’m not getting stuff cemented mentally. How can I get them to stfu? Disclaimer: Student Support advises Read more...

In Memoriam: Honoring our favorite shitty drinks of years gone by

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Cindy’s Cindy’s burst onto the scene with the aggressive enthusiasm of a fresher whose parents didn’t let them drink in high school. Orange Cindy’s changed the game with its Fanta flavored ethanol, allowing even the pickiest drinker to get blotto with ease. Then we had Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 5

Posted 2:14pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

As a single person of the female persuasion, I decided to give this whole Tinder thing a whirl. The whole thing started out somewhat innocently; I naively thought that it would be the best place to meet other single people, and so, armed with some deceptive pseudo-attractively “well-lit” Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 5

Posted 2:10pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

Economics Everywhere | Issue 5

Posted 2:05pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Wee Doubt

Do you ever order what turns out to be way too much food at a restaurant, and then eat it all anyway to “get your money’s worth?” As well as greed, you’ve fallen victim to the sunk-cost fallacy. You paid good money for the meal, and you don’t want to “waste” Read more...

Science Bitches | Issue 4

Posted 2:02pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Ben Cravens

When most people think of bees, they think of the adorable insects that give us honey. However, they’re much more than that. Our future is inextricably linked with theirs. Close to a third of America’s food supply requires honeybee pollination. But, since 2007, bees have been Read more...