Ethel & Hyde | Issue 13

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 13

Dragon Breath

Dear Ethel and Hyde
I can see my breath in my room and all my clothes and bedding feel damp. I am ‘not allowed’ to use a heater because we all agreed to that at the start of the year. I’ve changed my mind, but don’t want to cause a fight. Please help.


Ethel and Hyde is brought to you by the Student Support Centre. They advise you to take Ethel’s advice.

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Ethel says:

You are facing a common problem; the cold and damp upsetting the equilibrium in the flat. You can pick up a checklist for moisture and mould from Student Support to do a quick assessment of your room to see if it will be affecting your health. This will help identify if the landlord needs to do something and Student Support can help you with this. Taking care of flatmates’ concerns about electricity usage is important. Talk ideas through with them first to avoid disrupting the peace. Electricity usage meters are around $25 and assess how much power appliances use. Look at the EECA Energywise site for information about running costs and the best heater for the room. Once you know how much power it uses per hour you will know exactly how much extra to pay towards the power bill if the flatmates agree to this system. If negotiating isn’t working we are here to help.

Hyde says:

Wear gloves and a hat and remain fully clothed at all times, this will stop you feeling the dampness everywhere. Pretty much problem solved from my view. People don’t joke about Dunners being cold for no reason ay. What you don’t want to ever do is lower your sperm count, cos I hear that can happen, by using an electric blanket. If you have girl bits, and wanna play with some boy bits, use the lekkyblanky like contraception – heat ‘em and they die. If you have girl bits and like other girl bits, you will be warm and dry in either’s bed. If you have boy bits and like girl bits you need to use her bed, it will be way nicer. If your boy bits respond to boy bits, that’s a bit tricky cos both beds could be well damp. If you’re happy with all bits take your pick. If your flatmates want to pick a fight about it, well tell them not to discriminate, everyone’s bits are different and it’s a bit mean to expect you to stay in your bed by yourself when it’s so cold. 


This article first appeared in Issue 13, 2017.
Posted 1:43pm Sunday 28th May 2017 by Student Support.