Bush
I am sick and tired of razors, of ingrown hairs, of the unspoken expectation that our genitals should resemble a Christmas ham. I, for one, don’t give a fuck if you have pubes. Frankly, we have them for a reason and they deserve a comeback. Not as a quirky thing or as a feminist statement. But as the norm.
Pubic hair exists for an actual, biological reason. Protection, friction reduction, temperature regulation. It’s literally designed by your body, for your body. Removing it entirely can actually increase your risk of irritation, infection and STIs, all because you're essentially sanding down your privates and hoping for the best. The skin down there is already sensitive enough without putting a cream on it that literally uses chemicals to burn the hair at the follicle. In trying to be ‘clean’, you might actually be making things worse.
Keeping your pubes isn't lazy, it's letting your body live. Somewhere between porn’s global takeoff and the rise of Sport Illustrated’s bikini issue, we decided that a bush means you’re unhygienic, unkempt, and unsexy. This is literally a manifestation of patriarchy with a side of capitalism. Smooth sells razors and smooth sells sex. Veet and Schick have had a hold on me since I was 13 and became aware of leg hair. Why should we let them in our underwear, too?
I'm not saying ditch the wax, razor or epilator forever. Groom, trim, shape, bedazzle – whatever. But the myth that pubes are dirty, gross, or unattractive needs to die an itchy, ingrown hair covered death. Let your bush be.
No bush
Bush or no bush will always be a personal preference, and regardless you should never judge somebody by the hair downstairs. However, in a world of active sexual revolution and free will, why not give the basement a polish? I disagree that removing your pubic hair is an act of symbiosis with the patriarchy or capitalism. Slick is straight to the point and in your face. No curtain, full window.
Sure, skincare is incredibly important when it comes to ‘mowing the lawn’, and the corporate world loves to make it seem complicated with all the foreign substances they shelve at Chemist Warehouse. However, the bare truth is that no, you don’t need any of that shit. Stick to the simple stuff; exfoliate and do research before you use anything with too many words you can’t pronounce on the back. Shaving is easy and sensory heaven that leaves you feeling like a slick, sexy piece of salmon – and it certainly doesn’t have to come at the cost of your financials or physical health.
It does also make for easier navigation. No safari goggles required for this endeavour because everything is all out there for your convenience. I don’t support deforestation, but it's not like the genital jungle is responsible for 20% of the Earth's oxygen supply anyways. So fuck it: shave that thang.
Ultimately, human genitalia is unique to every individual, with the ability to trim and cultivate the hair to how we please. No, it doesn’t really make a difference sexually in terms of stimulation, but what’s wrong with a bit of hedge trimming? The hair will grow back, it’s not a permanent decision and there’s no shame in it. Go bald or go home.