ODT Watch | Issue 09

ODT Watch | Issue 09

Crimes Against Pizza and Journalism

In front page news, a Queenstown bouncer tells us that it’s not a crime when you’ve gotten away with something before. Seems legit.

More from the front page: A beautiful and inspiring story of a lost goldfish returning to its tank. Now appropriately named “Lucky,” the fish was found after several months and put back in its tank. Being from South Dunedin, do you blame him for attempting an escape?

The first part of the sentence is superfluous because the second part of the sentence says what the first part of the sentence says, but in a more succinct way, which is an indicator that the first part of the sentence is superfluous.

Three men of the same height robbed a Domino’s delivery man last Saturday night, taking an unknown quantity of pizza and fleeing the scene. Labelling the crime as “pizza theft,” the police are carrying out a forensic examination of the car, most likely checking for strange bodily fluids.

And finally, the opinion of a 78-year-old woman from Oamaru?

This article first appeared in Issue 9, 2013.
Posted 3:14pm Sunday 28th April 2013 by Jamie Breen.