Archive

Trans Sex For Dummies

Posted 4:47pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Disclaimer: This article includes discussion and description of transgender bodies, with anatomical and occasionally gendered language. It mainly focuses on personal experiences of pre-op trans people on HRT, but a lot of this can be applied to trans people at other stages of their Read more...

Animated Affairs

Posted 3:51pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

Let’s talk about the legendary sexual awakening. There are the classics you always hear of: Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed a Girl’ music video or Joe Jonas emerging, glistening, from the water in Camp Rock. A good number of people recall the moment Miss Honey from Matilda pulls down Read more...

Nonbinary Dirty Talk: 25 Freaky Genderless Naughty Nicknames

Posted 3:14pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

When you’re genderqueer and don’t use gendered terms, it can be hard to include good dirty talk in your sex life. Sex is fun, intimate, and it should be sexy, right? Dirty talk can quickly become awkward Mad Libs from hell when trying to remove gender from your lexicon (“baby Read more...

Your First Time… According to Wattpad

Posted 3:00pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

When your total bitch of a mother throws your things in a suitcase and tells you to meet your new owners (One Direction, a band you’ve literally never even heard of), the prospect of your emerging sexuality can be daunting, especially when you’re a fictional self-insert who doesn’t Read more...

Between the Sheets: The Realities of Lesbian Sex

Posted 2:54pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Madeline O’Leary

Disclaimer: This article is based on the personal experience of one individual. In this article, lesbian sex is referred to in the context of being between two AFAB (assigned female at birth) partners. Trans lesbians, we love you too. Hello there, queer/questioning/closeted Critic reader! You Read more...

How to know if you’re a breatha (and how you can come to accept it)

Posted 5:36pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Part 1: Develop self-awareness Oh, the breatha. The absolute epitome of what people think of when they think “student”. Like the scarfie of yesteryear, the breatha is everywhere: lurking in your lecture halls, downing Monsters in the library, sifting on your mates. You know them Read more...

Man vs Campus: With Sam Soppet

Posted 5:26pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

The challenge: seven days, 0.22 square kilometers, one Critic office couch (now my bed). Is it doable? Probably. Will it suck? Absolutely. With the Critic office as my home base and staying within main campus bounds (between Clyde, Cumberland, Albany, Dundas), I aimed to answer the question that Read more...

The Student Cult (Chur)

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

I don’t fully understand why I did what I did, but most of it can be chalked up to desperation, autism, and a strange attraction to this godforsaken city. Not all of it, though. There’s something about Dunedin. There’s something about going to the oldest university in our young Read more...

Revolutionary Recipes: How to Season the Rich

Posted 2:43pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

When the revolution comes, the proletariat has been freed, and the wealthy Kiwis that sucked us dry have been rounded up, we will be left with one divisive question – how exactly do we eat the rich? Critic Te Ārohi has a modest proposal on unique ways to prepare our homegrown Read more...

From Hangi to Hupa: Navigating Soul Food in Studentville

Posted 1:25pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

In the cutthroat world of student survival, where the budget is as tight as our jeans after gaining the infamous fresher five, planning for the week ahead can be a real challenge. Particularly so when it’s your turn to put on a hākari and you’re not sure which dish will impress the Read more...

Aquaman’s Tasteless Tide

Posted 4:19pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

In an era where diversity is celebrated, Hollywood has found a new fascination – move over superheroes and intergalactic battles, because Māori culture has become the latest trend in the global entertainment industry. But are we witnessing a genuine celebration of diversity, or is it just Read more...

Fringe Festival is Here and It's Time to Show You Care About Saving Dunedin’s Venues

Posted 4:14pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

The hour has come for everyone to put their money where their mouth is. Look, we all love the idea of saving Dunedin venues – as evidenced by local movements, posters, and fundraisers – it’s just that we don’t seem to love actually getting up from behind our keyboards and Read more...

The Official Dunedin Old Test

Posted 3:36pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Have you ever… Bailed on Pint Night? Hosted a potluck/dinner party? Bought a $14+ bottle of wine? Brought just a 6-pack on a night out?  Refrained from drinking because your tummy hurt? Left a BYO basically sober? Purchased a textbook (and used it)? Declined free Read more...

Which Countdown rat are you?

Posted 4:19pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Jodie Evans

Everyone and their mother are talking about the Countdown rats - those “unsanitary” intruders scurrying across the deli salad and whipping up an ODT storm. But have you stopped to consider how the rats feel? Perhaps each rat has its own complex life, just like yours. They, too, drink way Read more...

Flo-Week Theme Review: 2024

Posted 4:04pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Monday: Back to School (Courtyard)  Flo-Week opened with a strong start at Courtyard, running the tried and true ‘Back to School’ theme. The look book for the night was composed of pleated skirts and unironed white collars, with a fair sprinkling of kit from local high Read more...

‘Almost Pumping’: Dunedin Surf on Film

Posted 3:33pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Surf culture in Ōtepoti has always operated in an uneasy tandem with the student community. When a gaggle of students sputter into view of the beach, most local surfers roll their eyes and call it a day, or else begrudgingly share their waves with often very good (if greedy) student surfers. We Read more...

Homie-Eroticism: All the gay shit breathas do

Posted 4:05pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Dunedin is one of the few places on earth where you’ll hear the f-slur casually used by straight breathas who are mere hours away from drinking out of each other’s nutsacks. I posit that Breathadom creates a unique space for playful, casual male intimacy that remains socially Read more...

Nut Up or Shut Up: Why Halls Should Go Vegetarian

Posted 4:00pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Fox Meyer

The way halls work right now, with opt-in veggies but obligate meats, is completely backwards. I don’t care if you keep eating meat in your day-to-day life. It’s kinda cringe, but ultimately, the emissions from one private jet flight outweigh any of your dietary choices. So I can live Read more...

C'mon, John, Just Donate to the Pūteketeke

Posted 11:04am Thursday 16th November 2023 by Fox Meyer

Is a bird in the hand really worth two on a billboard? John Oliver doesn’t care, because he’s got more money than you.   John Oliver joked on his show that there’s nothing more American than influencing elections, and that may well be true (I, myself, have indulged). Read more...

Scoop McNeilly: 15 years covering student affairs

Posted 12:03pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Harriette Boucher

Through all the riots and revolutions that Dunedin students have staged, Stuff reporter Hamish McNeilly has seen it all. Fortunately for us, he was sober the whole time, allowing him to recall every last detail.    Hamish is the sole Stuff reporter in Dunedin and a former Otago Read more...

Planning Your Course to Make the Best Apology Video

Posted 12:00pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Peyton Black

Are you having trouble with your online image? Finding that your comment section is more shame than fame? If you’ve done something to get yourself cancelled it can be hard to navigate the digital experience. That’s why a tried-and-true method to cleanse yourself of all wrongdoing is the Read more...

The Dummy's Guide to Travelling to Hawai’i

Posted 11:56am Sunday 8th October 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Welcome to the Dummy's Guide to Travelling to Hawai’i, where we'll show you how to turn a dream vacation into a nightmare of confusion, frustration, and inefficiency. Who needs simplicity and relaxation when you can make everything needlessly complex? It's time to discuss the Read more...

Opinion: Fuck It, Let’s Privatise the Business School

Posted 11:54am Sunday 8th October 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

Well, here we are. It’s the final issue of Critic for 2023, and my final issue forever. I’ve been lucky enough to spend three glorious, tumultuous, unhinged years writing for this publication, and now the time has come for my final rampage. And to that I say: fuck it, let’s Read more...

Opinion: The person you need is Nanny McPhee

Posted 11:49am Sunday 8th October 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Kicking someone out of your flat is a shitty experience, particularly when it’s a byproduct of your own shitty behaviour. Though it’s usually justified, the experience nonetheless leaves scars on the flat. Conversations are left in flux; a uniting, common enemy is lost; rent must be Read more...

Local Candidates Debate: A Summary

Posted 10:48am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Hugh Askerud

With all major parties (bar ACT, surprisingly enough) wanting a slice of the student voting pie, OUSA in conjunction with POLSA hosted a high-octane debate in the union hall at 1pm last Wednesday. The result was largely underwhelming, as candidates showed the utmost respect for one another in Read more...

TOP Leader Raf Manji: On Despondency, Political Potential, and Progressivism

Posted 10:44am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

The Opportunities Party Leader Raf Maji is sort of like that international student who showed up in your Geology class one afternoon: you aren’t too sure who he is or where he came from, but he seems pretty cool and is giving all the other popular kids a run for their money. While TOP has yet Read more...

Planning Your Course to Make the Best Apology Video

Posted 10:43am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Peyton Black

Are you having trouble with your online image? Finding that your comment section is more shame than fame? If you’ve done something to get yourself cancelled it can be hard to navigate the digital experience. That’s why a tried-and-true method to cleanse yourself of all wrongdoing is the Read more...

An Interview with Your New Student President, Keegan Wells

Posted 10:39am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Keegan Wells successfully won the presidency in a close race against Mr. No Confidence. We were able to sit down with the local figure while she wasn’t busy chasing snowfalls or ranting about atmospheric rivers and over-tourism. As you’ll see, the conversation immediately became quite Read more...

Antisocial Media

Posted 10:32am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

by Pippa Richards, Dom Piceno, Maddi Butler, and Ruby Chadd   This article was written by students from MANT252, a paper designed to develop future leaders. As a part of this, they’re tasked with leading a social action project with relevant stakeholders, and this group requested Read more...

Go Big or (Don’t) Go Home

Posted 10:03pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Harriette Boucher

It’s late. You’re several standards deep and, in your quest to feel something even remotely close to human affection, you’ve gone home with a stranger you just met. Deeds are done, towels are wiped, snoozes are hastily had. And then comes the cold light of day, when you must Read more...

Otago Degrees and Their Favourite Sex Positions:

Posted 10:02pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

No one asked, but here it is. A breakdown of Otago degrees and their favourite sex positions. Use it well.    Using a mix of questionable quantitative and qualitative research methods, Critic Te Ārohi has investigated the correlations between what degrees people take and their Read more...

What sex toy are you?

Posted 9:51pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

How often do you nap?   I’m not a toddler. I micro-nap by blinking rapidly, when required Can it even be called napping when I didn’t get up in the morning? Only when my partner does  Very rarely, and usually in jeans, but when I do I lose all sense of time and Read more...

RED-S

Posted 12:46pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Imagine you’re an athlete, spending your days in the shell of a constant migraine, feeling immediately tired upon waking with a full day of training and classes ahead of you. This was Tom’s reality for almost a year as he grappled with RED-S, also known as Relative Energy Deficiency in Read more...

Winning Streak

Posted 12:28pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Saturday, August 26th. A cool breeze whistled through Forsyth Barr Stadium, carrying the jeers of Otago and Southland fans. It was a day few could predict, but all would remember; it was the day of the streaker. The streaker who lived.   Long before this fateful day, nine young men set Read more...

Winston Peters: In His Reputation Era

Posted 12:24pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

Winston Peters is the stuff of legend in the New Zealand Government. He’s the only diplomat that’s ever been invited to North Korea. He’s also the longest-serving MP, entering Parliament in 1979 - before the rise of neoliberalism or the inception of the internet - during a time of Read more...

The Breatha’s Guide to Understanding the Rugby World Cup

Posted 12:22pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Oscar Paul

What is the Rugby World Cup?    The Rugby World Cup (RWC) is a quadrennial meeting between the best countries in the world, i.e., the ones that play rugby. The coolest donnies, the blokes you’d happily invite over for your red card. 20 countries in total, each with mixed Read more...

Cluckergirl

Posted 12:17pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

“This is for everyone who’s ever been told they couldn’t make it, everyone who’s been told they’re ‘too old’, ‘too bold’, ‘too much at risk of transmitting avian flu’... They tried to keep me down, but you can’t stop this Read more...

Ngāti Pākehā? More like Naughty Pākehā!

Posted 12:19pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

The descendants of Porourangi are known as Ngāti Porou, and Ngāti Tūwharetoa in the central North Island are, of course, descended from Tūwharetoa. So if ‘Ngāti’ means ‘descended from’, then who the hell is Pākehā?    Many Read more...

Your Wellness Instagram Is Just Yassified Colonialism, Actually.

Posted 11:51am Monday 11th September 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

I think we can all probably agree that the golden age of social media is officially over. We’re no longer posting wholesome and heartfelt statuses on Facebook or being unapologetically cringe on Instagram while simultaneously running a successful One Direction Twitter fan account. Instead, Read more...

Literary Legends: A Peek Inside 2023’s New Zealand Young Writers Festival

Posted 9:02pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

From the 21st to the 24th of September, Ōtepoti is lucky enough to be hosting the New Zealand Young Writers Festival. Produced by Dunedin Fringe Festival, the event is a free, four-day celebration of our creative community across all literary forms: poetry, fiction, zines, journalism, podcasts, Read more...

Pussy, Power and the Patriarchy

Posted 8:45pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Being a boss bitch comes with an asterisk. Even that term, boss bitch, still carries the word “bitch” in it, as if women can’t be in charge without being insufferable. But despite all the resistance, many have forced their way to the top. Like a modern Elle Woods, pushing on in Read more...

Self-guided art tour/pub crawl

Posted 3:51pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Want to go see some art but also want to make it a red card? Here are some pre-planned stops on an art gallery pub crawl. Just remember: no touching the galleries, even after ten pints. And no, you couldn’t have made that yourself.    Start at Ironic Bar and Cafe before heading Read more...

Rouge:

Posted 2:17pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Zak Rudin

Disclaimer: OUSA does not endorse dumpster diving as it can have serious legal ramifications.     Joey, a local fashion dumpster diver, told Critic Te Ārohi dumpster fashion “is fast fashion”. As in, you’ve gotta be fast: “I don’t want to get Read more...

The American College Jumper. Why?

Posted 1:51pm Monday 7th August 2023 by myia Pearce

I doubt many Americans are walking around their college campuses with Otago University jumpers.    You don’t need to visit Michigan to rock U of M gear. You don’t need to know how to pronounce “Worcester'' to look like an alumni, and the only reason I can Read more...

OPINION: Everyone dresses queer now and it’s fucking with my gaydar

Posted 1:43pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Amelia Blockley

Gaydar is a magical thing. It gives us queer folk the ability to pick up on little hints and clues that can guide our flirtatious approach, and since the 1940s and 1950s fashion has been one of the best ways to sense someone’s queerness. Docs, work wear, chunky rings, and suits were some of Read more...

The Search for Conehenge

Posted 1:45pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Ahhh, the simple art of cone theft. Over the years many have loaded a number of descriptions onto this noble craft: thrilling, devious, psychotic even, but pointless? Many have dared to make this bold assertion, calling cone theft ludicrous for the fact that the art has no purpose. And…to Read more...

Degrees and How They Smell: A walkthrough of the academic perfume aisle

Posted 1:43pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Rose mills

Computer science: The worst. Just the worst. Have you been to the comp sci labs in the science building? They absolutely reek. They never shower because they don't want to get their electronics wet. Yuck.   Natural sciences: Distinct aroma of mud, weed, and septum piercing. Strangely Read more...

Chlöe Swarbrick: On Harm Reduction, Landlords, and (still) being the Youngest in Parliament

Posted 4:34pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

Whether you love her or hate her, over the past few years, it’s been hard to ignore Chlöe Swarbrick. The 29-year-old Green Party Member and Auckland Central MP was elected to office at 23, making her the youngest politician to enter parliament since Marilyn Waring in 1975. In 2023 Read more...

Fresh Stress Relief

Posted 4:27pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

It’s that time of year again - it’s ten degrees colder than when you first began to complain about the winter chill, your fingers continue to grow stiff on your laptop keyboard, it’s difficult to get out of bed in the morning, and the motivation you thought would return after the Read more...

OPINION: Gaslighting is totally normal, actually. (a response)

Posted 4:21pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Gaslighting is totally normal, and I can’t believe you didn’t know that. Assuming you’re a loyal Critic reader, I’m sure you know all about gaslighting by now. We can’t seem to publish an issue without mentioning the word, and we even ran a feature earlier this year Read more...


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