Archive

A-Z OF DUNEDIN ARTISTS

Posted 4:33pm Sunday 24th May 2020 by Critic

Adelaide Cara: Alternative Pop Bad Sav: Alternative Rock Captain Saturated Planet: Indie Rock Death and the Maiden: Alternative Rock Élan Vital: Dark Disco Flyspray: Post-Punk Gulls: Ambient Electronica  Hot Donnas: Alternative Rock  Iron Mammoth: Alternative Read more...

Don't do the 30 Day Squat Challenge

Posted 7:23pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Ever since Dame Queen Nicki Minaj’s music videos emerged, I think a piece of all of us dreamt of having an ass so fat, so bodacious, that we would cry in the shower while doing a mere 15 squats naked to achieve what she has. Or maybe that was just me. Drenched in sweat from the gym that I Read more...

Critic Reviews Mayor Aaron Hawkin's Critic Music Reviews

Posted 6:56pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

Aaron Hawkins: Mayor of Ōtepoti, antagonist of Dunedin News. Before his career in local government took off, Aaron was the Music Director and Breakfast Show Host for Radio One 91FM, and the Music Editor for Critic. 14 years later, it’s safe to say that Radio One and Critic now has a Read more...

Period Underwear: Worth it?

Posted 1:04am Friday 15th May 2020 by Andy Randell

Try something for me: what do you think of when I tell you to think of period products. You will have, no doubt, had tampons and pads spring to mind, maybe even the more recently popular moon cup, but how many of you thought of underwear itself? Probably very few of you did, unless you read the Read more...

Gender Diverse Takes On Periods

Posted 5:22pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Sinead Gill

There is a lot of stigma around periods. Not as much stigma as there is around gender diversity, though. So what if you were stuck in the middle of both discourses? This would be a shit menstruation issue without talking to the one group of menstruators who are most excluded when it comes to period Read more...

PMDD: PMS’s Evil Twin

Posted 4:30pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, more commonly known as PMDD, is a disorder that affects 1 in 20 people with uteruses but is relatively unknown. The symptoms of PMDD are extensive and can cause serious disruptions in day to day life, that often require medication. What is PMDD? Well, most people Read more...

Colonisation Made Periods Gross

Posted 4:16pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Waiwhero, mate marama, mate wāhine, paheke, te awa atua. There are many ways to describe menstruation for Māori, because it is an important part of life. It is a sign of whakapapa, connection to the land, connection to the gods. Menstruation was power - until Read more...

How to Free Bleed

Posted 4:14pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Naomii Seah

Periods are rough, messy, and miserable. Sanitary items are no better. Sometimes it’s just too much effort to find one, let alone buy them. Sometimes your flow is so light that a sanitary product just doesn’t seem worth it. Sometimes, you just need to free bleed. Here’s Read more...

How to Get $50 Worth From a Moon Cup When You Don’t Bleed Four Days a Month

Posted 4:01pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Fox Meyer

Moon cups are great. They’re inconspicuous, reduce plastic waste, and they’re easily distributable to people with uteruses in developing nations. All my female friends were raving about them, and not one to miss out on the latest trend, I decided to invest and see what all the hype was Read more...

Fostering Animals: Yes or Yes?

Posted 4:59pm Monday 11th May 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

It might sound obvious, but if you have a secure home and love animals, but don’t see yourself living in Dunedin forever, fostering is a great option. Fostering is a great way to get a cuddle fix while also socialising an animal so they are ready for a forever home. Depending on who you foster Read more...

UoO Hunger Games: Sims 4 Edition

Posted 2:57pm Monday 11th May 2020 by Critic

With (from left top:) Law Student, Girl Who Sleeps, Country Boy, A+ Student, Breatha, Thrifty Artsy Girl, and Jock   Sims 4 has made a resurgence during the lockdown. With no social interaction and nothing to do; what else will kill five hours in the blink of an eye? Killing sims is a Read more...

How to Look After House Plants

Posted 2:51pm Monday 11th May 2020 by Asia Martusia

Congratulations, you have a bouncing baby houseplant. Doesn’t it look divine amongst your fairy lights and polaroids? Here’s how to keep it big, strong and alive so that it can one day look after you in your old age. Light of my life, fire of my loins Different plants require Read more...

YOU SHOULD KNOW THE NAME ROBERT LAWSON.

Posted 4:48pm Sunday 10th May 2020 by Caroline Moratti

His name should be on your lips when you kiss your lover. There should be tattoos, monuments, babies, decorative gardens, all named in his honour. Robert Lawson carved the very fabric of Dunedin, sculpted our culture in his muscled hands. He designed the buildings you love, literally the only Read more...

How to Feng Shui Your Bedroom

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 10th May 2020 by Naomii Seah

Every culture has its own superstitions. You’ve probably heard some of these from your grandma, or your mother or father, or your auntie. For me, it’s always been Feng Shui. My dad touts it like no tomorrow, and whenever I tell him something that’s going wrong in my life, his Read more...

Eating My Backyard: Can Foraged Foods Make a Delicious Dinner?

Posted 3:58pm Sunday 10th May 2020 by Wyatt Ryder

I’ve always liked the idea of growing my own food, but I am a very lazy man. Last week, though, I had a realisation: I’m already growing food. If animals can eat weeds, why can’t I? I grew up rural, so I had a vague idea of what was out there in terms of edible weeds. I did a Read more...

Dunedin TradeMe for 10 Dollars or Under

Posted 4:16pm Thursday 7th May 2020 by Saskia Rushton-Green

Here’s some of what’s currently available on trademe in Dunedin for 10 dollars and under.    1. These sexy belly button rings     2. This 75g container of spreadable chicken   3. Wow These ARE a bit Cute Bead Read more...

How to Make a Bong out of Literally Anything

Posted 5:33pm Thursday 30th April 2020 by Naomii Seah

I wasn’t the cool kid in high school. I had a few close friends, and lots of classmates, but I didn’t have status. I went to maybe a few high school parties, usually as a plus one, and lots of tame birthdays. The rest of the time, I was studying. Maybe that’s why it took me until Read more...

Living Without Time

Posted 12:30pm Friday 24th April 2020 by Fox Meyer

I’ve been wanting to live without time for a while now. I’d heard about a petition by a Noweigin town called Sommarøy, north of the Arctic Circle, which called for the abolishment of the 24 hour clock. The campaign asked: “Why do we need time and clocks when there is no Read more...

Surviving Long Distance

Posted 12:10pm Friday 24th April 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

For almost all couples, going long distance is generally the last thing you want to do. Critic spoke to couples who moved in together for lockdown to avoid doing just that. But what if you weren’t ready, or able, to do that with your partner? Or what if your significant other is your best Read more...

How to Hide Your Vaping From Your Parents

Posted 11:36am Friday 24th April 2020 by Caroline Moratti

During your tender, sweet time at the University of Otago, it’s highly probable that you’ve picked up a nicotine addiction. Let’s face it, sometimes there are parties so shit that you just need to smoke/vape outside in order to avoid your 2nd cousin making ‘come fuck Read more...

Which Witch is Which?

Posted 10:55am Thursday 23rd April 2020 by Fox Meyer

Spiritualism always seems to be in style. It’s time Critic provided a guide for the most common types of modern witches. If any of this makes you rethink your beliefs, you’re probably a shit witch.   The E-Witch Dresses in flowy, raggedy clothing that looks antique but was Read more...

The Scientist and Her Thirteen Ant Colonies

Posted 12:04pm Tuesday 21st April 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

The transition to online classes has been difficult for many students. But what if your studies required access to labs and materials that you can’t recreate from home? What if, say, your research included looking after live creatures? Critic spoke to Eloise Lancaster, an ecology Masters Read more...

How to Spice Up Your Zoom Lectures

Posted 10:42am Tuesday 21st April 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

It's been a few weeks now, and Zoom lectures have well and truly lost their novelty. Lecturers are trying their best, but like some in-person lectures, classes can get boring. Here are some proven ways to spice up your Zoom lectures, keeping yourself alert and ready to learn. Put a Read more...

How to Find a Boyfriend in Club Penguin

Posted 3:28pm Tuesday 14th April 2020 by Caroline Moratti

With Club Penguin back up and running (praise be), I thought I would use this bountiful opportunity to get something I’ve only ever dreamed about: a boyfriend.  The new CP is slightly different: there’s ads on the loading page for one matter and everyone is a member. The class Read more...

A Definitive Ranking of the Uni Clocktower Bongs

Posted 3:38pm Tuesday 7th April 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Everytime I sit in my room, the clocktower’s flat chimes remind me that my time in this world is fleeting. Every bong that rattles through my window slowly drives me insane.  Because I have nothing else to do, and to help you all feel a little bit closer to campus, I have categorised Read more...

A Tale of Two Servers: UniCol and Locals

Posted 8:48pm Thursday 2nd April 2020 by Wyatt Ryder

Good and evil. Light and dark. Yin and yang. Mine and craft.  There are few things in life more wondrous than the joy of sharing a beautiful blocky world with your friends. All the epic gamers who haven’t got the new Animal Crossing are spending their lockdown on Minecraft. This Read more...

Essential Dealing: How Unlicensed Pharmacists Ensure a Clean Supply

Posted 8:23pm Wednesday 1st April 2020 by Sinead Gill

If there is ever a time for weed to be legal, it is during a pandemic. Personally, my anxiety has been at an all time high, though I am slowly learning to be kinder to myself for not being as productive as usual. Sometimes, the only way I can sleep is with a cheeky bit of the dev’s Read more...

Art Hoe Training

Posted 3:25pm Sunday 29th March 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

Famous museums all around the world are offering virtual tours of their exhibits to help pass the endless void of time during this quarantine period. That’s right, VR isn’t just for porn. Now’s your chance to one up that flatmate that went to Europe once and never shuts up about Read more...

The Ultimate Guide to Starting a Flat Orgy

Posted 8:31pm Friday 27th March 2020 by Naomii Seah

Step one Start off nice and slow. You don’t want to spook anyone. Complain very loudly about the fact that you’re not having sex while in isolation during flat dinner, or whenever you’re all congregated together. Step two A few days later, suggest that you all watch porn Read more...

How to Party 2 Meters Apart

Posted 4:44pm Tuesday 24th March 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

It’s that sick season and we shouldn’t be out here playing games with any virus, period. But. Dunedin has a party reputation that needs to be upheld for the sake of media articles all over New Zealand, so that our grandparents can post them on our Facebook page saying "Kyle Read more...

How to Take Feet Pics

Posted 8:42pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Critic

For those of you whose casual employment is drying up and who are thinking about ways to make money from home by selling pictures of your feet, Critic has you covered.   The feet: Literally any feet will do. The more natural, the better - leave those beautiful little toe hairs alone. Read more...

Students “In Limbo” Waiting for Covid-19 to Hit Campus

Posted 7:33pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Sinead Gill

Otago students are “scared”, “concerned”, and “feel as if [their] whole lives are about to come toa stand-stil” over the recent Covid-19 outbreak. Last Tuesday, students came together to celebrate St Patrick’s day in what many considered the final send Read more...

What to Do in Self-Isolation

Posted 6:35pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

Everyone is freaking out about Coronavirus at the moment, buying mass amounts of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, just in case. The fear of the unknown has taken us over. What if it hits Dunedin? What if you get it? What if everything gets shut down and you don’t have enough supplies to last Read more...

Seagulls: An Exposé

Posted 6:33pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

Seagulls, the resident shit cunts of almost every city in New Zealand. Despite interacting with them on a daily basis, there remains much unknown to the general public about them. How long can they fly? What are their intentions? Do they have a supportive father figure? One of the biggest Read more...

Kebab House

Posted 6:32pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Operating a family business can be tough. Long days, commitment to work, and family time 24/7. Yet somehow, a few full-time students and their father run a kebab shop specialising in Afghan food in a place that is very different from Afghanistan: North Dunedin. I decided to sit down and talk to Read more...

Students to Watch: Hamish and Angus

Posted 6:51pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Oscar Paul

Hamish Todd and Angus Tylee are proof that, sometimes, a mate’s hairbrained scheme isn’t as cooked as you might first think. From a bedroom in Arana (lol) in 2017, the duo deduced that if no one else would bring drum and bass to Dunedin, then, fuck it, why couldn’t they just do it? Read more...

Up and Cuming: Burger Plant

Posted 6:49pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan

In recent months, anyone who has driven down Great King Street has probably noticed the absence of Golden Sun Takeaways. The once iconic, always faithful fish and chip institution has instead been replaced by a mysterious new building named ‘Burger Plant’. Upon noticing this dramatic Read more...

Bees on the Brain

Posted 6:48pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

Have you ever felt a telepathic connection with honey bees? Well, you may be closer than you think. Otago’s Zoology Department has recently published a paper describing the similarities between certain bee brain waves and those of primates (including humans). Paul Szyszka, Lecturer and Read more...

(Don’t) Ask Otago

Posted 6:46pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Caroline Moratti

DISAPPOINTING SERVICE !!!!! 3 stars Their website claims that “AskOtago offers help and support for all those who study, work or contact the University of Otago” which is clearly NOT TRUE !!! !!!!!!!!! I went to AskOtago in PERSON to ask about a mole I had that appeared to be Read more...

Big, Brown and Bi: @nudes_and_pincushions

Posted 6:18pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Abigail Faletoese

For over a year now, Dunedin-based third year Medicine and History student, Jaya*, has been using her creativity to fill a void in our otherwise white washed Instagram feeds. Her Instagram page is full of the “artistic ramblings of an angry brown girl”, and is an eclectic mix of Read more...

Look Mom, No Hands!

Posted 6:37pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Fox Meyer

The following are three true accounts of wet dreams. For the record, wet dreams are totally normal, and rarely this messy. These are the greatest cum-capers, the crème de la crème, the (e)Mission Impossible of nocturnal emissions. Enjoy at the lads’ expense. #1 Woke up from Read more...

An Ode to the Cocktower

Posted 6:32pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Naomii Seah

Oh cock tower! oh cock tower! Your presence makes me horny, To see you chiming every day Makes my morning glory.   Your dinging and a donging, Fills me with such longing With every peal, you make me squeal "I'm late to my class meeting!"   But Read more...

Dating Ace

Posted 6:22pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Oscar Francis

Asexuality is a sexuality; the A in LGBTQIA+. No, it doesn’t mean you reproduce with yourself, unlike what your year 9 biology might have you thinking. It means you don’t experience sexual attraction like most people do. It means you if you see a hot stud across the road, you might say Read more...

Dunedin News’ Coronavirus Discourse

Posted 6:22pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Oscar Paul

Need to know more about the latest trends and pandemics? Visit Dunedin News, the single largest online forum for our fine city in the South. Dunedin News is a Facebook group founded in 2014, with the sole purpose of housing the most up-to-date collection of info from the wider Dunedin area. But Read more...

Your Asian Fetish is Gross

Posted 5:56pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Naomii Seah

When I was younger, I was convinced that no one would ever find me attractive because I’m Asian. I don’t fit into eurocentric beauty standards, and I also don’t fit into Asian beauty standards. I’m dark skinned, little, brown-eyed and have short, wavy hair. I would’ve Read more...

The Inaugural Critic Kebab Review

Posted 1:36am Friday 28th February 2020 by Alex Leckie-Zaharic

The kebab. The holy trinity of protein, veggie and carbs. The go-to for anyone who is feening a feed that won’t damage your body and/or subtract ten minutes from your life. The team at Critic was shook to realise that no Dunedin kebab review exists, and are here to right that wrong. Each Read more...

Exclusive Interview: BuffCorrell

Posted 6:48pm Thursday 27th February 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

Why is he shirtless? Why can’t I stop watching? Why does he do this?? BuffCorrell, who had previously never given an interview, has been an online legend - and mystery - for a decade now. Critic scored an exclusive interview with him. He answered my questions over email, and didn’t know Read more...

A-to-Z of words you should know at Otago

Posted 12:17am Friday 21st February 2020 by Critic

AGNEW            A popular party street, often thought as of far superior to the likes of the ticketed Hyde Street Party   BREATHA           A person who lives, or rather breathes, for the Read more...

Gig Review: How Deep is Your Love?

Posted 12:14am Friday 21st February 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

On Valentine’s Day, an army of Doc Martens’ shook the flimsy 19th-century floor of the Cook; by 9pm, the How Deep is Your Love gig was well underway.   The vibes were strong the whole time: each band commanded total control of the crowd. The breaks between acts left the Read more...

Students to Watch: Magdeline Huang

Posted 10:27pm Thursday 20th February 2020 by Caroline Moratti

If you’ve ever had to post on Otago Flatting Goods, you are submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known. To watch yourself or a loved one make a post begging to buy or borrow an item is a shameful endeavour, posting to 40,000+ people is not an experience that comes lightly. Like most Read more...


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