Archive

Harlene’s Birthday Boy

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

OUSA President Logan Edgar received a birthday visit at his flat from University Vice-Chancellor Harlene Hayne, sparking concern (really just from Critic) over whether OUSA and the University are getting a little too close. Edgar explained to Critic that the visit was prompted after Edgar was Read more...

It’s Another International Officer! Again!

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Staff Reporter

You might remember flexing your democratic muscles at the end of last semester. The results are in, with all questions put forward by OUSA in its annual referendum being passed with healthy majorities and a newly minted International Officer joining the OUSA executive. Third year Pharmacy Read more...

Prospective Students Take Places in Rest of World

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Maria Mutahi

The University has experienced a dip in student numbers, leading to “caution” in its current financial outlook. Full-time enrolments have dropped from 19, 661 in 2010 to a forecasted 19, 370 this year. The University’s director of planning and funding, David Thomson, said the drop is in Read more...

Freshers Fundamentally Misunderstand Law of Supply and Demand

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

Critic has received reports of first years already signing up for flats, marking the start of the great annual student flat hunt. Further investigation revealed that this year’s spectacle pales in comparison to previous years. “Now’s not ‘early’,” a member of staff from the University of Read more...

Uni Blasts Criticism

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Gerard Barbalich

The University of Otago has been called out for “killing Castle Street”, and has responded with a water-blaster. A presumably scarfie protester painted the message “You can kill Castle Street, but you can’t kill culture” on the walls of Leith below the Clocktower building during the exam Read more...

Small, locally-owned business becomes Big Corporation

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Callum Fredric

James “Jim” Peterson, the owner of Jim’s Miniature New Zealand Flag Emporium on Hanover Street, has been slammed as a “sellout” after hiring a 20th employee last week, officially pushing his company over the line from “small, locally-owned business” to “Big Corporation”. Protestors have Read more...

If Shane Jones Doesn’t Resign

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Callum Fredric

Labour MP Shane Jones, who has been dogged recently by allegations that he gave citizenship to an international criminal in exchange for donations to the Labour Party, has entered a bill into the members’ ballot that would, if successful, provide free kittens to all. Mr Jones, who attracted Read more...

Smashed Him Bro!

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Gus Gawn

This week we are going to talk about head injuries in sports. TVNZ's Sunday programme recently broadcast a shocking exposé on the reality of brain injuries caused by contact sports. Research in the US has shown that the repeated traumatic brain injuries often seen in contact sports can cause Read more...

Bouncer screwed, surprisingly unhappy

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Imogen Whyte

An intoxicated teenager stabbed a Monkey Bar bouncer in the neck with a screwdriver on Friday 25 May after being refused entry to the nightclub. A 19-year old labourer was arrested and appeared in the Dunedin District Court the following morning, charged with intent to cause grievous bodily Read more...

Children beaten by band of youths

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Margot Taylor

A crowd of 200 converged for the final of the Converse Battle of the Bands was held at Re:Fuel on Saturday May 26. 40 bands compete in four heats in the OUSA-organised event. A Distant City emerged the winners, with Astro Children named runners-up and Abstract Survival placing third. A Read more...

Red Bull flies student to Austrian brainwashing bender

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Alice McRae

University of Otago student Josh Stewart placed 23rd at the Red Bull Paper Wings World Finals in Salzburg on 4 – 5 May. The second-year Knox resident gained a place in the international round after beating 496 New Zealand competitors with a 43.6 metre throw at the Alahambra Rugby Club in March. Read more...

“Cheeky darkies” better represented*

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Staff Reporter

The University of Otago has appointed Tuari Potiki as its new Director of Māori Development. This will put Mr Potiki in charge of Māori development activities at the University, as well as maintaining the University’s relationship with local iwi. Mr Potiki has previously held a Read more...

English implores students: go Greek!

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

Students’ associations have lent their support to the criticism over changes to the student loan and allowance systems announced in the National Budget on Thursday 24 May. Following the blockade of central Auckland streets by angry students, Finance Minister Bill English taunted the students Read more...

Scarfies drink for Africa

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Josie Adams

The 40-Hour Famine was held on the weekend of 25 to 27 May, with participants around the country giving up something of value for 40 sponsored hours in order to raise money for World Vision. A number of Otago students displayed an especially entrepreneurial attitude to the cause. 20 year-old Read more...

$1.4 Billion, Still No Hydroslide

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Staff Reporter

A hard-hitting article by the ODT’s Vaughan Elder has revealed that the University of Otago is the most asset-rich of New Zealand’s many illustrious tertiary institutions. With $1.4 billion in total assets, Otago left the University of Auckland to sob all the way to the bank with its miserable asset Read more...

Referendum Results Retardedly Reach Reporters Retrospectively

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Callum Fredric

By the time you read this OUSA will have announced the fate of the eight motions in its referendum, as well as the results from the International Officer by-election. Due to insensitive scheduling on the part of OUSA, the results were not yet available when Critic went to print on Thursday Read more...

Edgar exposes assets failure

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Bella Macdonald

The Otago University Student’s Association (OUSA) has been criticised for its failure to support the Keep Our Assets campaign, after a media faux-pas from Logan Edgar taught the OUSA President that the majority of journalists outside of Critic do not appreciate his sense of humour. In early Read more...

The Eagle’s Alternative Budget

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Eagle of Liberty

Liberty-lovers rejoice, the Eagle’s back! Socialists, drop your copies of Das Kapital and The Spirit Level and run to the only place you can hide – the state houses of Corstophine, where the aura of welfare dependency and mediocrity saps the Eagle of his powers. Yes, the Eagle’s back with a Read more...

Top 5 - sportspeople who changed their sport

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

When Anna Harrison of the Northern Mystics performed the “chair lift” or “lady lineout” to reject the Melbourne Vixens shooters, she changed the game. This manoeuvre had never been performed in competitive netball before, and people didn’t know what to think. The obvious road for netball to take Read more...

Critic’s favourite Highlander is now Critic’s favourite All Black (trialist)

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

Critic’s favourite Highlander Aaron Smith has hit the big time. Just as we predicted, Smith’s form has been too good to ignore, and he has been selected for the All Blacks training squad from which the team to play Ireland will be fingered. While Aaron is not getting too excited just yet, here at Read more...

Critic pretends to give a shit about postgrads

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Josie Adams

The University of Otago will host the inaugural Postgraduate Research Conference on Power and Politics (PRCPP) on 2 – 3 July. The Conference, sponsored by the New Zealand Political Studies Association, will give postgraduate students the chance to present material from their disciplines for Read more...

Fishing in Dunedin no longer confined to Monkey Bar

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Alice McRae

The Leith River is now home to 4000 juvenile salmon, after the New Zealand Salmon Anglers Association released the fish last week to support the “put and take” system of recreational fishing in Dunedin. Salmon have been released into the Leith annually since 1984, and as a result Dunedin is Read more...

University studies coronial impotence

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Claudia Herron

A major research study by University of Otago researchers will review whether recommendations and findings from coroners are currently being heeded to prevent further loss of life. University of Otago Faculty of Law researchers Professor Mark Henaghan and Dr Jennifer Moore will collect and Read more...

Breaking the cycle of broken cyclists

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Margot Taylor

In a move that could save the ratepayer up to $4.7 million over the next decade, the Dunedin City Council (DCC) decided last week to reallocate its road-sealing budget towards improving Dunedin’s cycleways. While a pre-draft budget created in January had initially reinstated part of the seal Read more...

Missing University of Otago employee found dead

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Claudia Herron

The body of missing Health Science Library Team Leader David Palmer has been found after a two-week Search and Rescue operation in the Ahuriri Conservation Park. Mr Palmer’s body was located in a creek bed at the bottom of a 60m-high steep bank in the Canyon Creek area on Saturday 19 May. He Read more...

Otago Students Named Most Alternative: Wellington students weep

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

A team of University of Otago Students has won the 2012 Alternative Budget Competition. The competition, sponsored by the Independent Policy Institute, required students to develop their own national budget in the lead-up to the Government’s announcement of the 2012/2013 budget last Read more...

Edgar Woos Ladyhawke to Re-O

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Bella Macdonald

OUSA has announced the line-up for Re-Orientation 2012, which is to be held in the first week of Semester Two on 11 – 14 July. OUSA President Logan Edgar is “pretty fucking excited” about the line-up, which will include Ladyhawke, Kora, Chopper Read and Paul Ego. Re-Orientation will coincide Read more...

Alty student attempts to import Class B

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Staff Reporter

In a brazen attempt to become the coolest kid on his hall floor, an Otago student has attempted to buy ecstasy over the Internet. The 18-year-old appeared in Dunedin District Court last Tuesday, and admitted procuring the Class B drug. His lawyer has asked for an adjournment to allow for an Read more...

Zero budget provides zero funny headlines

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

The National Government announced the 2012-2013 Budget Thursday 24 May amidst student protest against the changes to the student loan and allowance system. While Bill English’s ‘zero’ Budget was generally described as political commentators as “forgettable”, “dull” and “boring”, Auckland Read more...

New Legislation Aims to Deter Unnecessary Legislation

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Callum Fredric

New research by the University of Otago’s Wellington branch has put a dollar value on the rampant time-wasting, political point-scoring, and other such shenanigans involved with law-making in New Zealand. According to the study, each new Act of Parliament costs an average of $3.5 million, while a Read more...

Pucking Great

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

This week we go back to talking about students doing well at sports you don’t know much about … Ice Hockey. If New Zealand were a few degrees colder ice hockey would be our national sport. Just like rugby it is rough, tough, fast and exciting. Unlike rugby, nobody gets paid. In fact even the Read more...

Four Thoughts on City Winning the Title

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

You can still buy the titleJack Walker did it for Blackburn Rovers in 1995. Roman Abramovich did it for Chelsea in 2004 and 2005. Now Sheik Mansour has done it for Manchester City. The easiest way to turn a mediocre team into Premier League Champions is to spend shitloads of money on new players. Read more...

Foreigners rejoice! Democracy for all!

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Yee Min Chua

It’s by-election time yet again! Oh yes people, yet another chance to demonstrate your zeal for practicing democracy, if you’re an international student anyway. OUSA needs a new International Student Officer, and voting is open (to international students) from 9am May 28 until 4pm June 1. It Read more...

“Find your own jobs, you lazy bums” – SJS

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Margot Taylor

Figures released by Student Job Search (SJS) this month reveal that while students who have jobs are working more hours and earning more money, it is more difficult for those students looking for jobs to gain employment through the student job matching service. The number of Dunedin students Read more...

NZUSA wades into debate without mandate

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Stella Blake-Kelly

The New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations has thrown its support behind the citizens’-initiated referendum campaign against state asset sales without consulting or informing members. Confusion has arisen after the national union presented justifications for the decisions in private Read more...

Tibet to be freed following protest in the link

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Bella Macdonald

Fudan University’s open day was interrupted by a protest from Students for a Free Tibet (SFT) on May 11. The silent protest began during the opening ceremony when seven SFT protestors displayed a banner reading “Save Tibet Now” and featuring the Chinese, Tibetan and SFT flags. The protestors then Read more...

University of Otago Employee Missing

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Claudia Herron

The search for Health Science Library Team Leader David Palmer was scaled down last week, nine days after Mr Palmer failed to return from a tramp on Saturday May 5. As Critic went to print last Thursday, police said the chances of Mr Palmer’s survival were “very low”. The 53-year-old, who Read more...

Councils to be replaced with cronies, re-Joyce!

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Imogen Whyte

Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce has revealed reforms planned for the country’s eight university councils, saying they are large and unwieldly. The changes would likely see the size of university councils shrink and council personnel replaced by government-appointed members. Joyce Read more...

Dunedin lacks length

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Claudia Herron

The financial affairs of Forsyth Barr Stadium received a further blow last week, with news that shortcomings at Dunedin International Airport may be hindering the economic benefits originally promised by the stadium. The Otago Daily Times reported last week that British band Coldplay Read more...

Turangi tragedy claims three lives

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Margot Taylor

A car crash near Turangi on Saturday May 12 resulted in the deaths of three Boston University students. The students who were studying on exchange at Auckland University, were on SH46 on their way to walk the Tongariro Crossing when the crash occurred. Daniela Rosanna Lekhno, Roch Jauberty, Read more...

Second bestest thing to ever happen to Dunedin!

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Bella Macdonald

A proposal for a 28-storey five-star hotel on Dunedin’s waterfront was revealed at an event in the Forsyth Barr Stadium on May 11. The developers of the $100 million venture have remained unidentified, with Steve Rodgers of Rodgers Law acting on their behalf to announce the hotel. Dunedin Mayor Dave Read more...

Cumberland College Terrorised by Ghost

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Callum Fredric

Cumberland residents have been sleeping with the lights on and sharing rooms after multiple sightings of a ghost known as the “Grey Lady”. At 1am on Tuesday May 8 two female Cumberland students encountered the ghost as they made their way to a laundry on the college’s first floor. According to a Read more...

NZ Political Roundup

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Callum Fredric

Critic’s market research has revealed that 70% of students get their news exclusively from messages chalked onto the ground on campus. So not only are you missing out on the political happenings that are so hot right now, you’re probably also contemplating whether Student Life can help you fill your Read more...

Critic Goes To Fight Night

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

The last golden era of heavyweight boxing is over. Mike Tyson is still in Vegas but he’s inexplicably hosting a one-man show. Evander Holyfield would get back in the ring if they would let him (he has at least nine kids to at least six different women so he needs the money for child support). Our Read more...

Americana

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

“Football”Surprise! NFL coaches can no longer reward players for intentionally injuring other players. The New Orleans Saints have been busted for a running a bounty system where players were rewarded for injuring key members of the other team. Bounty prizes varied according to how important the Read more...

Even Elton couldn’t save us

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

The Forsyth Barr stadium is running at a loss of nearly $2 million with the Dunedin City Council considering whether to step in and help foot the bill. Dunedin Venues Management Ltd (DVML), the company running the stadium, revealed a loss of $1.9 million for the first six months of the Read more...

Hello I am the moon

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

A super perigee moon terrorised man and beast alike early last week. The event occurs when the moon is at its closest point to Earth, making it appear 14% bigger and 30% brighter than a standard full moon. The moon reached its fullest point at 3.35pm on Sunday 5 May. However Grant Christie Read more...

Edgarzibit hosts Pimp My Clubs & Socs

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Callum Fredric

OUSA is splashing out half a million dollars to pimp out the Clubs & Societies Building. President Logan Edgar says that most of the money will be spent on “boring” maintenance rather than brand new features. The big-ticket item is an “eco-friendly, sustainable heating system”, which will cost Read more...

Upstart seeks token student for “diversity”

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Claudia Herron

Upstart Business Incubator last week announced the opportunity for a student to join its Institute of Directors. The successful applicant will undertake the directorship for 12 months and “bring the voice of the student to boardroom discussions,” according to Upstart chief executive Steve Silvey. Read more...

Feral freshers frantically flock to filthy flats. Fuckers.

Posted 7:08pm Sunday 13th May 2012 by Imogen Whyte

Second-year students living in the scarfie quarter have reportedly been stalked by first-year students declaring their love for flats such as “the Cuntry Club”, “The Eight Man” and “the Piss Stain” and seeking tours as the annual freshers attempt to lock down their second year accomodation as early Read more...