Archive

What's up with Otago students and stealing road signs?

Posted 5:17pm Thursday 8th March 2018 by Sarah Gallagher

Who hasn’t stolen a road sign or a road cone, or created a collection of “No Stopping” signs in the corner of their lounge? Flat signs are often made of found materials. Let’s face it, budgets are tight and recycling is a good practice to foster. In the past, signs have Read more...

Dr Mike | Sex and STIs

Posted 5:14pm Thursday 8th March 2018 by Mike Peebles

University has begun, which for many people means more procrastinating, more drinking, and more fucking. For others, it means getting back to Elim Church and trying to be wholesome in New Zealand’s city of sin. The combination of drinking and fucking massively increases the risk of three Read more...

Stop Pretending You Like Guiness

Posted 5:10pm Thursday 8th March 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Guinness is a fucking scam and you’re only drinking it because you think stomaching it makes you look like a tough cunt one day of the year. Don’t kid yourself – it takes a fucking hour to drink a pint and it’s way too weak to get you on a decent level. Trying to get Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Bazza and Shazza

Posted 5:08pm Thursday 8th March 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to the Dog With Two Tails. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz   Bazza I applied for the Critic blind date one night when I was Read more...

Auntie Kell and Mumma Zo | Advice on Getting out of Dunedin

Posted 5:03pm Thursday 8th March 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis-Haymes and Kelly Davenport

It is generally advisable not to sleep with someone solely so you can get them to take you out of the city (like my mother did), or out of the country (like Kelly’s mother did). This could leave you with a child in an unknown part of the world. Choice. Hitch-hiking is a possibility, our Read more...

Food Review: Sealord Canned Tuna

Posted 5:01pm Thursday 8th March 2018 by David Emanuel

Sealord Canned Tuna is a very polarising substance. At 15 grams of protein, it’s the go-to protein source for beef-cake gym junkies who are poor, and people who claim to be vegetarian, “except when I’m pissed, hungover or stoned bro”. Honestly, if you’re not one of Read more...

The Critical Tribune | Issue 02

Posted 6:04pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Critic

Students demand more construction on campus The student body has turned out en masse to protest the state of the University’s infrastructure, demanding widespread construction works start immediately.  “The buildings are an absolute fucking mess,” one protestor stated. Read more...

Food Reviews | The 99c Couplands Mince and Vege Pie

Posted 4:38pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Cameron De Leijer

The Couplands (Coop-Lands, not Cope-Lands you fucking cretin) 99c pie is a student’s lifeline. It is the final swipe on tinder before you run out, the eyeroll that the lecturer gives you while you plead your shitty case for another week’s extension on your assignment, the IV drip Read more...

Little Nicky is truly the turning point of the millennium

Posted 4:34pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

Released in the early 2000s, Little Nicky is truly the turning point of the millennium. I would go so far as to say that it is one of Sandler’s most underappreciated films, as it gives us a glimpse into his personality. The film’s premise is that the Devil decides not to retire, and two Read more...

The Flat Names Project | The Debacle

Posted 4:33pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Sarah Gallagher

  The arrival of students at the beginning of each academic year brings a frisson of excitement to the city, which used to culminate in a toga parade so that, as former OUSA general manager told the ODT, “the community and students could meet and greet each other in a colourful Read more...

Dr Mike | Evolution

Posted 4:31pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Mike Peebles

Evolution. If there’s something that gets Christians going more than pre-marital sex, it’s this bad boy. Evolution is the novel idea that the world is incredibly old (several billion years in fact), and that modern life has slowly developed, rather than spontaneously appearing 6000 years Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Steinlager

Posted 4:29pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Go into any country pub in New Zealand, and look behind the counter. You will find three standard beers that won’t ever change: Speight’s, Tui, and DB Draught. Brown bottle beers that are about as exciting as visiting Gore or your grandparents for the weekend. Then a sparkle hits your Read more...

Critic Blind Date | Coke and Bourbon

Posted 4:26pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Critic

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to the Dog With Two Tails. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email critic@critic.co.nz   Coke After getting my whole flat to pamper me while I knocked back Read more...

Advice on Advising | The Phresher Phlu

Posted 4:24pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis-Haymes and Kelly Davenport

Disclaimer: In no way do we support being ill and partying O-week and the first week of lectures have been and gone. This means that all of us attempting to avoid the phresher phlu have now well and truly intermingled. The biggest problem with phresher phlu is that despite O-week being over, Read more...

The Critical Tribune | Issue 01

Posted 4:48pm Saturday 24th February 2018 by Critic

Albany Cafe to start adding coffee to their coffees In a bold move, Albany Cafe has announced a radical change to the recipe of their brown coffee-style caffeinated liquid, which will for the first time incorporate authentic ground-up coffee beans, grown from actual trees. “It was a bit of Read more...

Editorial : Why This Is the Only Time You Will See the Words ‘Donald Trump’ in Critic This Year.

Posted 4:17pm Saturday 24th February 2018 by Joel MacManus

This year, Critic will not be using the first or last name of the current US President. Being a student magazine focused on the University of Otago and Scarfie life in Dunedin, we don’t cover a whole lot of international news, but the influence of American politics has a way of infecting Read more...

Mr. Sandler, Bring Me a Dream | 50 First Dates

Posted 3:56pm Saturday 24th February 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

Adam Sandler – quite possibly the most fascinating person of our generation. You see, Adam Sandler is an enigma. He literally floats his way through life churning out subpar films. It doesn’t matter if you love or loath the Sandman; as long as you recognize his face and his stupid smug Read more...

Food Review | Hellers Pre-Cooked Sausages

Posted 3:53pm Saturday 24th February 2018 by David Emanuel

Hellers pre-cooked sausages are the antithesis of vegetarianism. Not only are they a meat product, which seems to be a no-go for 90% of whingeing lefties these days, but they are made of pork, lamb, beef and chicken. So unlike that Night n’ Day beef-mince pie you do the demolition job on at Read more...

Lion Brown is The Least Interesting Beer in New Zealand

Posted 3:48pm Saturday 24th February 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to Read more...

Dunedin Flat Names Project: The Influence of J.K Rowling

Posted 3:46pm Saturday 24th February 2018 by Sarah Gallagher

The Harry Potter series shattered literary and film-making records. One record that is sure to be unique is the influence it’s had on the naming of student flats. Here in Dunedin there are  a number of flats with names influenced by Rowling’s world. The first Potter-inspired flat Read more...