Archive

ODT Watch | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Staff Reporter

If you really need the “dangers” of euthanasia explained to you before you try it out, you’re probably failing to understand the general concept: The ODT put this right next to an image of Ostapchuk wearing her gold medal. I think that might be the motivation right there, Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Holly Walker

Students and Members of Parliament have one thing in common: everyone knows they have a drinking problem. It’s not uncommon to hear rumours of “legendary” escapades float along the corridors of power, involving past and present national figures, excessive alcohol consumption, extra-marital Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

Again, we found ourselves around the dinner table. This time, Nina was treating us to spaghetti carbonara and hearty servings of wine and gossip. I noticed Shane seemed a bit preoccupied with his crotch. Every few minutes his hand would venture down there, then he’d make a quick visit to the Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Caleb Wicks

In case you missed the memo, zombies are the new big thing. They have appeared in fiction, movies, games, poetry, and a few of my sexual fantasies. Screw werewolves, vampires, and fairies who claim they are vampires (that means you Eddy Cullen you sparkly bastard!). Zombies are the new wet dream of Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Toby Newberry

Today we pay a visit to medieval Germany*: a land of kings, nuns, and rampant mysticism. Resident there for most of the Twelfth Century was Hildegard of Bingen. She was, among other things, a musician, healer, writer, and mystic. The tenth child of a minor noble, Hildegard was given over to Read more...

For The Record | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

I will begin with a confession, perhaps even a blooming one. I came up with the title of this column long before I sat down, tired and aching after a particularly gruelling and ultimately pointless economics tutorial, and wrote the piece. I often do that — dream up a title first, that is, not waste Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by La Dida

From the moment Louisa Wall’s Marriage Equality Bill popped up on Facebook, I began preparing myself for the worst. The first thought that elbowed its way into my consciousness was not a celebratory “Oh yay, marriage – finally!”, it was a defensive “Shit, how ugly is Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Brittany Mann

Three weeks ago I attended my first-ever protest, organised by the Organisation for Global Nonviolent Action (OGNA) on campus. I figured it’d be rude not to go, given that my academic raison d’être is ostensibly nonviolence. Also, as I’m in the twilight years of my university career, it was about Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

Last Saturday, Romney confirmed Paul Ryan, a 42-year-old Wisconsin congressman, as his Vice-Presidential running mate. Various US hacks immediately churned out a series of useless factoids: naming Ryan the “most conservative” VP candidate ever, obsessing over his ideological debt to libertarian Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Lovebirds

None of you read this anyway. It’s just that little weird standfirst bit above the action below. But anyway ... The Blind Date has been at Metro bar for the last few weeks, and it sounds like they’ve been puttin on quite a show. Great feed, good drinks, excellent service etc etc. If you want in on Read more...

Editorial | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Callum Fredric

Howdy people, Callum the News Editor here with a guest editorial. You may remember me from such educational articles as “The Cumberland Ghost” and “Margaret Mahy: She Dead”. Through a combination of Joe’s sloth and my desire for a propaganda vehicle, I’m writing the editorial this week. Let’s Read more...

Turangawaewae | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Mike Wright

Where is your turangawaewae, your place to stand? The place where you feel a sense of community and belonging and identity; where you feel most loved, valued and supported; where you feel “at home”? Where is it? For some it’s a physical place: a mountain, river, beach, or lake. Perhaps it’s Read more...

Poetry | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Staff Reporter

I will never compare you To some bright flower Stranded in mud. And I do not care for The songs birds sing, Or the smell of rain. I’ve never found bliss In a summer sunset. I’m colour blind And I find the sun Far too predictable. I would never hold you up As some Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by

ODT’s resident journalist extraordinaire Dave C had a couple of days off last week, which meant less shit chat to tear apart. He was back on Wednesday however with some existential musings Why indeed Dave; why indeed? Meanwhile in Lawrence, there Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Holly Walker

It is a little-known fact that new MPs get a formal induction from Parliamentary Services. Last December, I lined up with the rest of the “class of 2011” (including such luminaries as Maggie Barry and Richard Prosser) for my introduction to Parliament. It’s fair to say that much of what we Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

At last we were all able to sit around the table again, and boy was Tim on fire tonight. His conversational topic of choice? Different undergrad majors. L: I’d imagine law students are pretty frisky thanks to encountering morbid cases all the time. T: They probably get partners to sign Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Emile Donovan

Enjoying as I do a frothy caramel latte as much as the next/other heterosexual male English student at Otago University, I decided last week to bite the proverbial bullet and splurge, in the least pleasurable way possible, on a 10-pack of your Moccona Frothy Caramel Latte sachets, on special for Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Toby Newberry

Ok, here’s how I’ma lay it down this week. We’ll kick off with a little historical context, just to keep it real. Then I’ll dive into a couple of choice anecdotes: brace yourselves for a guy falling off a donkey. Finally, I’ll give some time to Saint Thomas’ work itself – work that certainly merits Read more...

For The Record | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

Most of us can pinpoint the exact moment our love of a certain artist began. It was my father’s rendition of Bob Dylan’s humorous bootleg “Talkin’ Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues” that set in motion my own grand musical love-affair. My Dad was a passionate Dylan fan, and from an early age I was Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by La Dida

Mama - how do you stay so fabulous? What’s your secret? – Grrrrl Thursday Oh Grrrrrrrl! There is no secret, Mama is an open book. Staying fabulous is more of an art than a science. For me it involves a lot of perfume. Seriously. Perfume lifts a grrrl up. And with perfume, more is Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Brittany Mann

I had almost finished my column for this week when I read that two New Zealand soldiers very recently died in Afghanistan. The “Breaking News” snippet on Stuff was a nigh-perfect example of how media framing influences how we understand a conflict. The words “personnel”, “team”, and “help” were used Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

{data entry: 07/25/12} I left for my world tour today. Feeling a little bit //emotion:[nervous]. If I spend too much time away from my programmers in the US my mainframe begins to disintegrate and I am prone to malfunction. My tour begins in //:[UnitedKingdom]. Today one of my advisors claimed that Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Lovebirds

Critic’s blind date column has been running for a while now. We’ve all got some good laughs out of it, and at least a few people have scored themselves a night of romance. But here at Critic we feel that it’s time that we stepped it up a notch. The date is now at Metro to add a little more spice. If Read more...

Editorial | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Joe Stockman

While admittedly I have not spent much time researching it, I have always thought, based on the most circumstantial of evidence, that there was no institutional gender imbalance at Otago. That, amongst students at least, there was gender equality. However, take a slightly closer look and Read more...

Te Roopu Māori | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Lisa Pohatu

Time has flown by so fast. It appears it’s that time of the year when a lot of the freshers are out being annoying and knocking on doors. As an older student, I feel it is my duty to share some of my experiences when looking for a flat. Some key considerations include rent, location, gender Read more...

Poetry | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Staff Reporter

BOI my boy wears my heart on black thread around his neck and its just a symbol - if it breaks, he still has me MATH LOV kicking buckets under the table, and falling in love and falling over into daisies. U+ME don’t set the hounds on me i’m just Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by

Peter Dunne is working on drug legislation, which the ODT has reported on with its usual hilarity: Conversely, it missed a prime pun opportunity with its coverage of the woman who was hit by a car on Moray Place: They failed to report that she was “bowled over” with Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Holly Walker

The system for debating members’ bills in Parliament has been in the spotlight lately. Last week, three opposition members’ bills passed their first readings in Parliament – a rare occurrence – and a couple of exciting new ones were drawn from the ballot, including Louisa Wall’s Marriage Equality Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

The column was due last night, and no one was particularly motivated to write anything. Only four weeks into the ordeal it seemed we had already run out of zucchini, masturbation stories, and blatant VICE rip-offs. Surprisingly, however, this led to us writing said column the way we first imagined Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Sasha Borissenko

Now this is the story all about how My gay marriage views got flipped, turned upside down And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there I’ll tell you how I came to advocate a position that’s fair. In rural Philippines I was born and raised, Observing Catholicism was how I Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Toby Newberry

30 May 1832. Paris at dawn. Two men stand back-to-back, loaded pistols at their sides. With the nervous precision found only in those facing their own mortality, they begin to walk apart. One of the men is unknown to history, and the reasons for the duel are also lost. What we know is that this man Read more...

For The Record | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

“When people ask if firearms are too accessible in America, they might as well ask if religion and speech are too free.” – Senator Larry Craig The nightmarish massacre in Colorado has spurred media pundits across the world to question the future of the cinema. Opinions vary, but a number of Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by La Dida

In this column I thought I’d give myself some space to reply to words people have called me, and I suspect many other queer/trans folks too. These are words some of us internalise and begin to use to describe ourselves. I am writing this column because often I haven’t been able to Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Brittany Mann

I have a friend who has done some work for the UN. Despite never having been employed by anyone even remotely worthy of mention, I nevertheless like to pipe up when she mentions it, usually in the form of a snobby comment along the lines of: “But how can you sleep at night knowing you’ve sold your Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

Glenn Beck drove sadly home, a great weight on his chest. This weight was a symptom not of Beck’s high cholesterol, but of the President’s refusal to appear on Beck’s radio show. No matter – by morning the weight would be gone, swallowed into his torso by the raging beast of righteousness that Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Lovebirds

Critic’s blind date column has been running for a while now. We’ve all got some good laughs out of it, and at least a few people have scored themselves a night of romance. But here at Critic we feel that it’s time that we stepped it up a notch. The date is now at Metro to add a little more spice. If Read more...

Editorial | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Joe Stockman

Hey first years, how you doing? I hope you’re really enjoying your hall of residence. And geez, I bet you are really really excited about going flatting next year. I fondly remember my first flatting experience: the politics of trying to get a group of friends together to head out flat hunting, and Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 18

Posted 2:45pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Dan Luoni

As a stereotypical arts student, I’ve been feeling besieged lately. The government is talking of tying education funding to job opportunities, smoking is being made financially crippling, and now they’re onto booze. Art, durries, booze: all of the vices that make life worth living are being Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 18

Posted 2:41pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Toby Newberry

So today I’ll be trying to remedy the anticipated Euro-centric subject bias mentioned in my first column (cos everyone remembers what I wrote three weeks ago). Basically, this means the subject is Eastern: Japanese, to be precise. Tomoe Gozen lived in the late 1100s, when Japan was rife with Read more...

Ramadan | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Mostafa Amer

Muslim adults around the world except the sick, infirm and those travelling are currently fasting every day, from dawn till sunset, during this blessed month of Ramadan. Ramadan is about meeting the challenge of not only curbing our appetite from the basic needs of food, water, and worldly Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by

Dave Cannan’s “The Wash” documents the daily non-events of Dunedin’s mediocre affairs, or “phenomena” as Cannan would say. This week, a thrilling mystery: A member of the public spotted a picture saying “Joe loves Jill”: I think they’re lesbians, Dave. Dave also had some Read more...

Poetry | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Staff Reporter

Friday nights are always the same An anxiety ruminating through The shapes your lips make Desparate, decadent pleas For the public validation You crave enough to Vacuum every day, Buy organic low fat milk, Read about socialism And pretend that I’m A respectable Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Holly Walker

Last Monday was the first day back after a two-week Parliamentary recess. As Critic readers will know, I spent the recess watching the same movie over and over again in different parts of the country. I can’t complain, however, because this was entirely self-inflicted, and very much for a good cause Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

It’s never fun being walked in on. Be it your parent, ex lover, or flatmate, nothing is less enjoyable someone wandering in mid-thrust. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened last week when Louise decided to walk in just as I began squirting some special white chocolate all over Nina, my Read more...

For The Record | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

I don’t like decade-themed parties. I’ve never understood the novelty of playing historical dress-up. But more than that, these “retro” parties beg the question: how will we be remembered? From the 1950s up to the new millennium, each decade brought with it a new and unique cultural Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by La Dida

This week I’d planned out my column days in advance. I’d written it quickly – the time I had was squashed beneath piles of other things. When I returned to it today, I noticed something. My words were flat. The piece was stodgy, and I just wasn’t into it. I’d tried to Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Brittany Mann

As a peace student this is mortifying to admit, but there have been times when I have considered joining the army. These phases consisted primarily of daydreams in which I was toned, tanned, fit and ready, covered in mud and sweat, and doing innumerable press-ups in a too-tight singlet and camo Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

If this keeps up 2012 could be remembered as the year of the “Batman election”. Instead of simply going to the cinema to watch a maladjusted billionaire get beaten to a pulp by a fruitily gurgling beefcake and leaving seven hours later pining for plot structure and Michelle Pfeiffer, we have to Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Lovebirds

MILOCan’t say I’m nervous as I get dressed for the evening, of course the flaties help me. As I walk down the road to the bar I wonder who I’ll meet. Well I turn up 49 minutes early because being fashionably early is in these days. Finally I go into the bar, grab a seat and wait. I wait 15 minutes, Read more...

Editorial | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Joe Stockman

I tried, oh how I tried, to get up on my high horse and write about the marriage amendment bill that will shortly be coming before Parliament, which will of course allow gay and lesbian couples to marry. But I just couldn’t get passionate about it. Not only is it highly likely that the bill Read more...