Me Love You Long Time | Issue 19

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 19

Critic’s blind date column has been running for a while now. We’ve all got some good laughs out of it, and at least a few people have scored themselves a night of romance. But here at Critic we feel that it’s time that we stepped it up a notch. The date is now at Metro to add a little more spice. If you want in on the action, email with your details.


Well, I knew I was off to a good start when I received an email from the Critic editor informing me that my Kiwi flatmate had nominated me to do a blind date. After bursting out into laughter and discussing it with my trusty flatmates, we came to a group consensus that this experience would be either pretty fun, or really awkward—but either way, there would be plenty of stories. Plus, I’m American, so if nothing else at least it would be a ….cultural experience?

Having no idea how these things work, I arrived at Metro a little early and approached the bar to see if my date had arrived yet. Sure enough, as soon as I received the menus my date was standing directly 10 centimeters behind me—little unexpected, but I was happy not to be alone. I introduced myself and we headed to a table in the back to do the whole meet and greet bit. Then, all of the sudden, I see two of my flatmates wander in and sit at the bar. As soon as I make eye contact I try my best to hold back my laughter, but my date probably thought I was having a convulsion of some kind.

Anyways…. we continued our conversation and it was pretty… interesting. After discussing various Olympic sports and places to visit in New Zealand, as well as around the world, I began to run out of topics and I felt like I was constantly asking him questions. I probably came off like I was interrogating him and after I noticed that he had gone through two full dinner waters and two sodas I decided to stop asking questions. But then things got quiet.... and there were some awkward pauses, but the food was great and I think we both enjoyed our time together. He lived the complete opposite direction of me, so I walked with him to the bus stop on George Street and gave him my number so that we could keep in touch.

Overall, he was a really sweet guy and I am so glad I got to meet him. Though I would like to let my flatmates know that I am done with any more dating plans they have in store for me.

Oh, and you Critic boys are pretty cute. Call me anytime ;)


Dunedin put on a stunning evening (a rare event) on the night of my blind date. I arrived at Metro with a sense of intrigue and curiosity about who I was going to meet. It was a pleasant surprise to meet **** and after a warm greeting we made our way to our table. It was a nice candle lit table and the restaurant had an air of ambience. **** proved to be excellent company; she had a warm engaging smile and a lovely American accent.

After introductions we ordered fries and the conversation flowed.

I discovered that she is studying biochemistry, biology and philosophy and some med papers (a very smart lady indeed!). She proves to be an accomplished athlete across a range of disciplines. I learnt that she plays tennis, can bend it like Beckham in soccer, runs cross country in 40°C heat and is accomplished at Just Dance on the Wii. It was a real bonus to talk to someone who appreciates sport as much as I do. While eating fries we were bemused by the strange sport of handball, (it definitely belongs in the Olympics). I took great delight in explaining the rules of squash and our national sport rugby (particularly the backwards pass). It turns out we like similar music, both of us appreciate John Lennon, Elvis and some of the funkier dance tracks on the Wii console.

**** hails from San Diego (a considerably warmer place than Dunedin) and this was the first time she had left North America. Her impressions of New Zealand were fascinating to me. From an American perspective Aotearoa is a land of stunning natural beauty, friendly people, great pubs, and some of the most expensive shopping in the Asia-Pacific rim, (travel tip: buy duty free). **** who is an adventurous sort wants to explore this great country of ours. One of the items on her bucket list is the ball-shrinkingly scary Ben Nevis bungy jump. It gives me chills to imagine falling 134 metres for 8.6 seconds she’s a brave lady.

After having had dinner and sharing dessert we departed Metro. We talked a little more about rugby and exchanged numbers. I want to give my appreciation to ****, she is an outstanding lady, Metro for the great food and Critic for putting up an awesome evening!
This article first appeared in Issue 19, 2012.
Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Lovebirds.